The Runaway Crush

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The night of the high school reunion, I finally made my move: I faked being black-out drunk, stripped my long-time crush down, and had my way with him. Halfway through, panic set in. I scrambled to dress him back up exactly how he was, trying to reset the scene.

Too bad I had already ripped three buttons off his poor shirt, and I had jammed the metal belt buckle so tight I couldn't wedge it back into place.

I stood over his body for three solid seconds, praying to God he would wake up and forget my absolute degeneracy.

Then, I bolted.

I jumped on a musty Greyhound bus in the dead of night and fled straight back to my hometown.

Chapter 1

First thing in the morning, my mom took one look at me standing in the doorway with massive dark circles under my eyes and jumped back. "Did you rob a gas station last night?"

I flinched.

I wanted to tell her it was actually way worse than robbing a gas station.

"Go lie down. Stop lurking in the doorway. I'll yell when food is ready!" Mom had a sharp tongue but a soft heart; she could cuss me out and still make sure I was fed.

My head pounded as I dragged myself to my room. I collapsed on the bed and didn't move until my stomach woke me up. By then, it was already late afternoon.

Sitting on my nightstand was a bowl of microwaved mac and cheese and a sticky note. "Eat when you wake up. I went to the casino to play slots. Do not disturb."

I seriously doubted I was her biological daughter.

I propped myself up and forced a few bites down, but my appetite was gone.

My temples throbbed relentlessly. I pressed the back of my hand to my forehead.

I was burning up. Crap.

I dug out a thermometer. Just as I suspected, I was running a fever. I stared at the ceiling for a few seconds before grabbing my phone. I searched the internet to see if anyone had ever experienced my specific set of symptoms. Apparently not.

One forum answer said extreme shock and physical exhaustion could tank your immune system and trigger a fever.

I squeezed my eyes shut, wanting to laugh and cry at my own reckless behavior.

I dragged myself to the kitchen for an ice pack, slapped it on my head, and opened the class group chat. A message instantly popped onto the screen.

[ Hazel, you and my brother last night you guys totally did it, right? ]

The hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up.

I frantically opened a private chat with Harlow, that massive loudmouth. "Harlow! You sent that to the main group chat! Delete it! Now!"

"Ah, I didn't mean to! I don't think I can unsend it."

"I will give you my brand new Dior lipstick."

"I seriously can't delete it."

"VIP front-row tickets to Taylor Swift's Eras Tour!"

"Deleted!"

Me:

She deleted it, but I still stared at the chat for thirty agonizing minutes, monitoring for any reactions before I finally tossed my phone aside.

Lying on my back, I replayed the sheer absurdity of last night.

The more I thought about it, the deeper my stomach dropped.

Harlow was my high school desk-mate and absolute best friend. She constantly shipped me and her brother, obsessed with the idea of us. The fact that the entire school knew I had a massive crush on Asher was entirely her fault.

Asher was her twin brother and our class president. With his long legs, stupidly handsome face, and perfect grades, he practically ran the school. He received love letters by the truckload.

Harlow would always sneak those letters out of his bag, bring them to me, and we would rip them to shreds together. "Won't your brother get pissed if we do this?" I asked, my heart hammering against my ribs.

"No way. He will just be glad we took care of the trash for him," Harlow promised, looking completely certain.

Except someone recorded me tearing up a letter and posted it to the anonymous high school gossip page on Instagram. It blew up the entire school. The caption read:

[ Crazy girl obsessed with star athlete destroys his love letters because she can't have him. ]

Harlow told me I should be thanking her, since it finally made her brother notice me.

Asher definitely noticed me.

From that day on, if he saw me from thirty feet away, he literally turned around and walked the other direction. In class, even if we were only one row apart, he would walk around the entire perimeter of the room just to avoid passing my desk.

In his mind, I was probably some kind of psychopathic stalker.

Because of that, I kept my distance the whole time I liked him. We barely spoke after graduation.

If it hadn't been for the reunion, the alcohol buzzing in my veins, and Harlow relentlessly egging me on to just claim him, I never would have done something that shamelessly dirty.

Alcohol ruins lives.

Chapter 2

Thinking about this, I locked my screen and went back to sleep. I drifted in and out of consciousness until Harlow's phone call jolted me awake.

"What do you want?" I mumbled into the pillow.

"Open the door."

I stared at the ceiling. "What?"

"Hurry up and open the door!" she demanded.

My brain finally booted up.

I dragged myself out of bed and yanked the front door open.

"You look like a wreck. And you still claim nothing happened with my brother?" Harlow crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing as she scanned me up and down.

Guilt prickled the back of my neck, but I swallowed it down and kept my chin high. "I came straight home last night. We were miles apart. What could I possibly have done?"

"Fair point. You were only dropping him off at his hotel room for, like, twenty minutes. I know my brother lasts longer than that."

I clamped my mouth shut.

If only she knew. The actual time it took me to embarrass myself was basically a blip compared to that.

"Why are you back already? Weren't you supposed to go on a trip?" I quickly pivoted.

"Don't even remind me. Asher caught a massive cold and is running a fever. I canceled and came back early."

"A fever?" The word blasted out of my mouth way too loud.

I slapped my hand over my mouth, but Harlow was already staring. "Why are you freaking out? And why is your face so red?"

"I was buried under the blankets! Of course my face is red. Don't touch me!" I swatted her hand away before she could press it against my forehead, terrified she would feel my own fever burning through my skin.

"Why are you hitting me!" Harlow snatched her hand back, glaring.

"Your brother is practically dying, and instead of taking care of him, you're over here bothering me!" I yelled back. Screaming at each other was basically our love language.

"Exactly! He's sick out of his mind, and he still forced me to come all the way over here just to return your necklace. He is insane!"

She shoved a small paper bag into my chest and slammed the door on her way out.

I stood frozen. I reached up. My neck felt bare.

When did my necklace fall off?

Thank God she didn't think too hard about it.

Now that she was gone, a cold dread started pooling in my stomach as I walked back to my room. How did Asher know the necklace was mine? This was the first time I had ever worn it. I bought it specifically for the reunion to look a little more put-together.

Logically, it was Asher's first time seeing it too. So, he either stared at me the entire dinner, or he wasn't actually black-out drunk back at the hotel.

Not drunk?

My heart slammed against my ribs.

Then he was awake? He watched me awkwardly fumble with his buttons, rip off his belt, and listened to every single filthy word that came out of my mouth?

"You are so gorgeous. If I just give you one kiss, you won't be mad, right?"

"I'm just going to touch a little. You don't mind, do you?"

"You're burning up. Me taking your clothes off is basically doing a good deed, right?"

"Wow, you actually have abs. I'm terrible at math, can I count them one by one?"

So he heard every single piece of absolute trash I whispered to him?

My soul left my body.

Just kill me. Kill me right now.

I locked myself inside and stared at the wall for three solid days.

I made a decision. I was going to erase my own memory.

But then Harlow called and told me to come over for dinner.

"To be honest, I'm on a strict diet right now." I tried to reject her gently. In reality, I was terrified of running into her brother.

"Are you out of your mind? Today is my birthday!" Harlow yelled through the speaker.

"Your birthday is the anniversary of your mother's suffering. How do you have the nerve to celebrate it?" I fought back, desperate for an out.

"Asher isn't here. He went to see his advisor."

"Oh? Really? What do you want for a gift? By the way, I love the double-cheese nachos, spicy buffalo wings, and BBQ pork ribs your mom makes. Can you arrange that?"

"Yes! Get your ass over here."

"Sir, yes, sir!"

Chapter 3

I scrambled into the bathroom, sprayed a ridiculous amount of dry shampoo into my hair, and frantically blended out a smokey eye to cover my dark circles. I grabbed a random gift at a convenience store and hauled ass to her place.

The second she opened the door, I froze.

The living room was packed with people.

"You sure have a lot of friends" I narrowed my eyes, scanning the room. "And I don't recognize a single one of them."

So much for best friends. Harlow was out here making secret friends behind my back while I thought she was just as much of a loner as I was.

"Obviously you don't know them." She grabbed my arm and yanked me inside.

Did she just lock the door? Why did she lock the door?

"They are my brother's college friends."

I stared at her. "What do you mean?" Didn't she literally just say her brother wasn't here?

"He did go to his advisor's office. But then he came back, and he brought all of them with him." Harlow blinked, looking innocent.

Absolute betrayal.

I shoved the gift bag into her chest and turned to bolt.

"Hazel, you made it! Come in, sit down. Harlow, why are you blocking the doorway?"

It was her mom, Rhonda.

"Rhonda, actually my family is hosting guests today, so I probably should" I immediately started lying through my teeth.

"Oh, really? I actually ran into your mom at Walmart earlier and invited her over. She said she was meeting the girls for a BBQ at the RV park out of town, so she couldn't make it."

I clamped my jaw shut. God, my mom was a piece of work.

"Oh, right, I got my days mixed up. Let me help you wash the vegetables." I braced myself and fled into the safety of the kitchen.

Except Harlow followed right behind me.

"Are you hiding from my brother?" Harlow demanded, picking apart a head of lettuce.

"No kidding. Aren't you?" I snapped back.

Asher had been a straight-A student his entire life. He was cold, intense, and absolutely terrifying. Harlow and I were academic disasters, so every year, right before the summer ended, we would pathetically sneak into his room to steal his homework and copy it.

At first, he would rip us a new one. But starting from a random day I couldn't even remember, he suddenly just started turning a blind eye.

When you rely on someone for survival, you learn to bow down. Harlow and I had always been terrified of him.

"Really? Because you seem way more freaked out than usual." She stared me down, and I instantly snapped my eyes away to avoid her gaze.

"That's normal. No matter how mean he is, you're his biological sister." I stammered, desperately trying to bluff my way out.

When dinner was finally ready, Asher and his college friends emerged from his room.

I shrank into the corner, stealing a glance at him, only to crash straight into his gaze looking right back at me.

My heart slammed against my ribs, and I immediately looked down at the floor.

My mind flashed back to that night at the hotel. He had looked at me with those exact same deep eyes, hovering between drunk and awake, silent.

I dragged my feet, eventually forcing myself to pull out a chair and sit at the dining table. Throughout the meal, I kept my head down like a coward, forcefully shoveling food into my mouth.

"Happy birthday, Asher!"

"Got a little something for you man."

His college friends started passing their gifts across the table one by one.

Since when was he this popular?

Right as the thought crossed my mind, Harlow kicked my shin under the table.

"What?" I shot her a glare.

"Don't tell me you forgot to get my brother a gift," she hissed under her breath.

I silently cursed her non-existent volume control. Even when she whispered, the entire table heard her loud and clear.

I I literally didn't have anything for him.

But in the very next second, I realized I had severely underestimated her ability to destroy my life.

"Asher, this is Hazel's gift for you. She was just too shy to hand it over."

Thanks to her, every single pair of eyes at the table swiveled toward me.

I stared at the bag in her hand. It was the exact same random gift I had literally just given to her at the door!

I applauded her quick thinking, but when I remembered what was actually inside that bag, all the blood drained from my face.

With so many people watching, I couldn't exactly scream out a warning. I could only pray to whatever higher power was listening that he wouldn't open it right now. I just needed him to wait until later so I could explain.

Chapter 4

"Thank you." He looked at me, and my heart skipped a beat.

At that moment, I finally understood how dangerous a pretty face could be; just looking at him sent my imagination spiraling straight into the gutter.

"Open it up!" someone suggested.

My blood ran cold, freezing the thoughts right out of my head. The sheer horror of the situation was paralyzing.

"It's it's really nothing special. You can just open it later," I offered, my voice entirely too high-pitched.

But of course the whole table started chanting for him to open it.

Panic clawed at my throat.

This was sheer torture. If they wanted me dead, they could just kill me directly.

He didn't say a word. Out of the massive pile of gifts, he reached straight for mine.

I watched his expression shiftjust a microscopic twitch of his jawbefore his dark eyes locked onto mine, heavy with meaning.

I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole.

It honestly wasn't anything special. Just a set of lingerie It was a sheer, black lace slip, aggressively designed with a highly suggestive leather choker. Under the harsh dining room lights, that pathetic excuse for fabric would look feral.

"What is it? Pull it out so we can see!" The table erupted into cheers again.

I practically choked on my own spit.

Luckily, I didn't have to worry. He snapped the lid shut, his voice a low rumble. "Let's eat."

He stood up, grabbed the box, and casually walked straight back to his room.

"Hazel, what the hell did you give him? Don't you think my brother is acting a little weird?"

"What's weird? Just eat your food." I rolled my eyes. She was entirely too observant.

"The tips of his ears were red!"

My jaw dropped.

"I need to use the bathroom." I slammed my chopsticks down and faked my way toward the hall, hooking a sharp turn up the stairs directly to Asher's room.

I knocked twice, keeping my voice low. "Asher, it's me. Open the door."

"I know it's you. What do you want?" His deep voice rumbled through the wood, but he made zero move to open it.

I stared at the door. Was he treating me like some kind of predator?

"I just want to explain." I shifted awkwardly from foot to foot.

After a few agonizing seconds, the latch clicked and the door swung open. Standing this close, I suddenly realized just how massive he had gotten; craning my neck to look at him practically hurt.

"Explain what?" The air around him felt heavy and suffocating.

"That gift can I get it back? I'll get you a real one another day." I held my hand out, palm up.

"So you do know how to be embarrassed." He tossed the flimsy box in the air with one hand and caught it effortlessly. His towering frame leaned forward, invading my personal space with a heavy, suffocating dominance. "Do you always give people things, regret it, and then try to take them back?"

"No that was for" For Harlow. I swallowed the second half of the sentence, clueless as to why he was so pissed off.

"Just like your actions. You start something, get halfway through, and then regret it?" His dark eyes were bottomless pits, boring straight into my skull and making the hairs on my arms stand up.

My stomach dropped. I wasn't an idiot.

He meant exactly what I thought he meant, right? Heat rushed up my neck and blasted across my cheeks.

"Do you have any idea how dangerous" His chest heaved hard. He suddenly slammed his hand against the doorframe right next to my ear, his hot breath brushing over the top of my head. "Stop giving stuff like that to random guys."

"Go back downstairs." He pulled back and shut the door right in my face.

I stared at the wood. Are you kidding me?

That wasn't even for him in the first place. The absolute ego on this guy.

I stomped back down the stairs, fuming.

"Hazel, why did you go all the way upstairs to use the bathroom?" Harlow was like a literal ghost haunting my every move.

"Don't mess with me. I don't care if it's your birthday, I will still hit you." I was buzzing with leftover adrenaline and took it all out on her.

"Why are you so aggressive?" She stood next to me at the sink washing dishes, her eyes constantly darting toward the hallway. "If you're this tough, I'd pay real money to see you yell at my brother like that."

"Are you even his real sister?" I rolled my eyes so hard they hurt. "Besides, it's not my place to yell at him."

I had literally just survived being trapped by him upstairs. As if I actually had the guts to yell at that monster.

Chapter 5

"Don't let him get to you. My brother acts tough, but he's honestly just a pretty face with a bad attitude. If you yell at him, he might actually cry."

Cry? Asher? Not in a million years.

But a highly inappropriate idea suddenly popped into my head.

"What are you smirking at?" Harlow elbowed my ribs.

"I was just brainstorming exactly how I could make your brother cry." I placed heavy emphasis on the verb.

"Oh wow, I am heavily invested in this now. Are we talking about a physical action here?"

"You already know." I shot her a wicked look.

Right as the words left my mouth, a massive shadow filled the kitchen doorway.

I froze.

Harlow set me up again. She definitely saw him coming. Damn it

"Why is the guest washing dishes?" Asher grabbed a paring knife from the counter, dropping the icy question over his shoulder as he turned to leave.

"Asher, she's not a guest," Harlow snapped back.

Asher didn't say another word, but right before he stepped out, he shot me a look full of pure disappointment.

So I was just an outsider. Every single word he spoke was coated in polite distance. I pressed my lips together and swallowed hard.

"Hey, don't read into it. My brother probably just feels bad that you're doing our chores," Harlow nudged me.

"Just drop it." My shoulders slumped. There was zero chance he actually felt bad for me.

I thought I was going to be depressed for the rest of the night, but apparently, I severely underestimated my own attention span.

Walking out of the kitchen, I saw a group of guys playing Texas Hold'em. Within five minutes, I was basically one of the bros. Raising, calling, and going all-in came naturally to me, and it looked like I was ready to drain all their chips and battle it out until dawn.

Asher might have been a walking ice storm, but his college friends were loud and rowdy.

Right as the poker game hit its peak intensity, Asher finally abandoned his spot by the window and marched over to our table. "Aren't you going home?"

The entire table of guys stopped and stared at me. The air instantly turned suffocatingly awkward.

He was literally kicking me out. I ground my back teeth together.

"It is getting late. Are you coming by tomorrow? We can run it back."

"Yeah, let me get your Snapchat, we'll text you tomorrow."

"Do you need us to drop you off?"

God bless these frat boys. They saved me from dying of embarrassment.

"Hazel can just sleep in my room tonight. Let her play a few more rounds," Harlow jumped in to rescue me.

"Can I?" I perked up instantly, my fingers tapping excitedly against the table. I didn't actually care about sleeping over; I just wanted to keep gambling. I definitely got that from my mom.

"You're a grown woman and you're still going to squeeze into that tiny twin bed with her?" Asher deadpanned, roasting his sister without skipping a beat. "None of your routes are in her direction, how are you supposed to drop her off? You all need to head out anyway."

Unbelievable. He was literally clearing out the entire room just to get rid of me.

I glared at him. He stared right back. Neither of us blinked.

"Forget it. I'll drive you." He checked his watch. "Hurry up."

His reluctant expression pissed me off. If I wasn't desperate to save on Uber fare, I would have told him to screw off. "Got it." I snatched my jacket and marched toward the door.

The inside of the car was dead silent the entire drive, both of us wrapped up in our own heads. We finally pulled up to my apartment building.

To my shock, he actually put the car in park and stepped out with me. I walked toward the entrance, and he strolled slowly beside me, both hands shoved deep into his pockets.

"Harlow mentioned you were sick a few days ago?" He broke the silence first.

So Harlow definitely knew I had a fever. "Yeah, just wasn't feeling great," I mumbled.

I had no idea why, but being alone with him made my skin prickle with awkwardness. I shoved my hands into my pockets, completely unsure of what else to do with them.

Chapter 6

He lowered his eyes to look at me and sighed. "I already told you I had a cold. If you didn't listen, who are you supposed to blame?"

"When did you ever say that?" I furrowed my brow, lost.

"When do you think?" He stopped walking and turned to face me.

"I have no idea." The second the words left my mouth, a specific memory crashed into my brain. I was practically climbing on top of him, aggressively leaning in to kiss him, and he had turned his head away, muttering exactly that.

Oh God. I wanted to die.

He was staring at me, his eyes heavy with an accusation I couldn't dodge. The headache was back with a vengeance.

"Are you really mad?" I asked, testing the waters.

"Yes," he answered without a second of hesitation.

"I I was drunk. I didn't know what I was doing." I kept making excuses. "It was just one kiss. You don't have to be like this."

He didn't say a word. He just stared at me, his gaze dark and suffocating. "Just one kiss?"

Right at that exact moment, a figure appeared out of nowhere down the street.

One look and I knew it was Sharon, the neighborhood gossip who lived across the street. She and my mom were absolute partners in crime when it came to digging up dirt on everyone.

If Sharon saw Asher and me standing alone out here in the middle of the night, the entire neighborhood would be talking about it by tomorrow morning.

Panic spiked in my chest.

I blindly grabbed Asher's jacket and tried to hide my face against his chest.

Surprisingly, he cooperated. He shifted his body to block me from view, trapping me between him and the brick wall, slipping a hand behind my head to protect it from hitting the rough surface.

Great. Now we were standing basically just as close as we had been that night at the hotel.

When the coast was clear, he looked down at me, his Adam's apple bobbing. "What are you trying to do to me now?"

Now? My stomach flipped.

Could I honestly tell him I wanted to pick up exactly where I left off that night? Obviously not. I couldn't be that much of an animal while he was fully awake.

"We are both adults. Yes, I kissed you. If you feel like I took advantage of you, you can kiss me back and we'll call it even, okay?" I was honestly impressed by my own sheer audacity.

But it worked.

He froze, his mouth opening and closing a few times, speechless.

A guy with a moral compass like his could never pull off something so shamelessly aggressive. I mentally patted myself on the back.

"Hazel!" My mom materialized out of thin air.

I jumped back, shoving Asher away as if he were on fire. Asher jerked his head to the side, clearly flustered.

"Mom, why didn't you make a sound when you walked up?"

"I've been standing here watching you two for a while. I just wasn't completely sure it was you."

A while? I was officially dead inside.

"Isn't this Asher? Why didn't you invite him upstairs? Why are you two just hovering out here?" My mom shoved the heavy apartment door open, gesturing for us to follow.

"Mrs. Lewis, it's getting late. I should head back."

"It is a bit late. But we do have a guest room. If you don't mind"

"Mom!" I cut her off instantly, turning around and physically pushing Asher toward the street. "Thanks so much for the ride! It's so late, you really need to get going!"

If I didn't get him out of here right now, my mom was going to force us down the aisle and start planning out which preschool our future kids were going to attend.

"Mrs. Lewis, I'll properly come visit another time." Asher really loved adding fuel to the fire, didn't he?

"Sounds great!"

I watched Asher walk away. My mom suddenly leaned close to my ear. "Well done. Did you really kiss that boy?"

"It's a misunderstanding." I tossed the words over my shoulder and practically ran into the elevator, forcefully terminating the conversation.

Chapter 7

"I don't think so." My mom stepped inside, looking dead set. "That boy obviously has a massive crush on you. Is he blind? He doesn't understand"

My mom just had this magical ability to send me straight to heaven with the first half of her sentence and drag me directly to hell with the second.

Once I got home, her words felt like some kind of dark magic. Even though I knew for a hard fact that Asher didn't like me, I was still successfully brainwashed into believing he was hopelessly, madly in love with me.

A week later, when Harlow called, my ego was out of control.

"Hazel, where is my gift?" she demanded aggressively.

I picked up the phone, taking my sweet time. "Tsk call me your sister-in-law."

"Sister-in-law? Are you out of your damn mind?" She instantly shattered my delusion. "If you don't get your ass over to my house right now, you're going to end up as sister-in-law number 007."

"Spill it." A heavy sense of crisis suddenly spiked in my chest.

"An upperclassman came looking for my brother today, and she's staying for dinner. I highly doubt she's just here for the food."

"Then what is she here for?"

"She's here to sleep with my brother."

"Tell your mom to set another plate. I'm on my way!" My competitive drive instantly maxed out.

And just like that, I jumped into my beat-up used Chevy, slammed my foot on the gas, and aggressively sped all the way to her apartment building.

The second I saw that brand new white Audi, all the air rushed out of my lungs.

That premium parking spot belonged to Asher's family. The car parked there had to belong to that upperclassman.

I hesitated, eventually maneuvering my pathetic little pink Chevy into a tight, dark corner right next to the Audi. Absolutely pathetic.

"What took you so long?" Harlow asked the second she ripped the door open.

"Don't even mention it. No matter how hard I stomp on the gas pedal of my piece-of-trash used car, I can't outrun a brand new set of four wheels. Especially when the hood ornament is four interlocking rings," I grumbled, dragging my feet into the house.

"Keep wallowing in self-pity. I was eavesdropping on them earlier, and things are looking pretty serious."

"How serious?"

"Asher said he was going to give her money." She paused for a beat. "Don't tell me my brother actually played with her feelings and now she's at our door collecting a debt."

"Ah so generally speaking, how much does your brother charge?" At a critical moment like this, my brain instantly short-circuited to the fact that I had also slept with her brother. Did I owe him a massive severance package too?

"What exactly do you think my brother is?"

"I" What else could he be?

The second Asher saw me, a flicker of genuine shock crossed his face. He and the upperclassman walked down the stairs one after the other, but his eyes instantly locked onto me and refused to let go.

"Why are you here?" He actually looked a little on edge.

He was definitely hiding something!

"I came to see Harlow, not you. Is that a crime?" My tone was absolutely venomous. Forgive me, but there was zero chance I could keep my cool right now.

Especially since the upperclassman looked so incredibly gentle and elegant that I couldn't even force myself to hate her, which just pissed me off even more.

He didn't say a word. He just stared at me for a few long seconds before his voice dropped low. "Who pissed you off?"

Asking a question when he already knew the answer!

"Severe PMS." I aggressively threw the words at his face, and he choked on whatever he was going to say next.

"Asher, is this your sister too?" The upperclassman walked over and offered me a polite, flawless smile.

Asher's face darkened, his jaw ticking in clear irritation. "You could say that."

What the hell did 'You could say that' mean?

Back when I used to copy his homework, he absolutely refused to acknowledge me as his sister. But now that this gorgeous upperclassman was here, suddenly he was eager to distance himself from me?

"Actually, I'm older than him," I smiled brightly, spewing absolute garbage.

In reality, my mom had bumped up the age on my ID by a few months just so I could start school earlier. So while I was physically younger than him, legally, I was older.

"Have some shame." Before Asher could even open his mouth, Harlow ruthlessly destroyed my lie.

The air in the room instantly went dead silent.

Chapter 8

I had no idea where the sudden surge of emotion came from. A sour knot twisted in my stomach, pulling tight as I watched the upperclassman stand so closely beside him. I felt suffocated.

"Age doesn't really matter. Looking younger is always a blessing for girls," the upperclassman said, offering a flawless smile to smooth over the tension.

"I'm going to take out the trash." I spun around, snatched the garbage bag by my feet, and pushed out the front door.

I felt absolutely ridiculous. Asher hadn't promised me a single thing, hadn't given me any sort of title, and yet here I was, drowning in my own baseless jealousy. For as long as I had known him, I was always the one chasing his shadow. He would throw me a breadcrumb of attention every once in a whileor just flat-out ignore meand my delusional brain would instantly twist it into proof that maybe, just maybe, he liked me back.

And so, I had spent years trapped in this pathetic, one-sided obsession, suffocating on jealousy without ever actually growing a pair to confess my feelings. I just fought imaginary wars in my own head.

Even that night at the hotel, after crossing every possible line, the sheer terror of him waking up and rejecting me sent me running for the hills.

The realization hit my chest like a physical weight, crushing the air out of my lungs.

I slumped against the cold concrete wall of the stairwell, desperately dragging in deep breaths.

"Taking the trash out to the stairwell?" A deep voice suddenly dropped from above.

Asher?!

My spine snapped straight, and I instantly threw up my careless, joking facade. It wasn't that I wanted to act like a clown, but keeping things wildly unserious was my only armor. If I made it a joke, his rejection wouldn't shred me to pieces.

"I'm getting my steps in. Is that a crime?" I shot back, ignoring him as I bolted down the stairs with the trash bag.

Halfway down the flight, a hand clamped around my wrist, stopping me dead in my tracks. His hand was massive and ice-cold, radiating the same freezing aura as the rest of his body.

"Stop running. You're going to make your cramps worse." His voice was incredibly low, but every single word crashed into my chest.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Aren't you afraid your precious upperclassman will get pissed if she catches you holding onto my wrist?" I kept my teeth sharp, refusing to back down.

He went dead silent, his dark eyes locking onto mine and refusing to let go.

The sheer intensity of his stare made all the tiny hairs on my arms stand straight up. He looked at me like a predator sizing up its next meal. Having a guy looking like an absolute god staring me down with that much heat was incredibly dangerous.

Every single cell in my body buzzed with electric anticipation.

And without a single ounce of warning, my brain short-circuited and an unhinged, filthy question tumbled out of my mouth.

"Asher, do you want to try it again?"

The second the words registered in my own ears, I wanted to slap myself across the face.

He froze. His face went frighteningly blankcold, fierce, radiating an intimidating authority without him even trying.

Half the blood drained from my face.

"No." He lowered his head, forcefully turning his face away as he completely released his grip on my wrist.

That was the answer he came up with after all that intense silence?

"Right. Got it." The bottom dropped out of my stomach.

"Aren't you indisposed?" The words seemed to physically pain him to force out of his mouth.

"So if I wasn't, we could?" Dear God, the sheer thickness of my own skin actually amazed me.

"Hazel, you are a girl!" His jaw clenched, his voice tight with warning.

Static flooded my ears. Only one thought hammered against my skull.

He rejected me.

The entire world crumbled.

"I'm taking out the trash." Unable to breathe in his presence for a single second longer, I spun around and scrambled down the stairs.

This time, he didn't follow.

Tossing the garbage, I slid into my used Chevy and slammed the gas pedal straight home. I bolted into my room and dove face-first into my mattress. I buried my head under the heavy comforter.

Violent sobs ripped through my chest, making my entire body shake.

Asher was despicable. He was the absolute worst human being alive.

If he didn't want to date me, fine. I didn't care about his pathetic five seconds anyway.

Chapter 9

Later, when I told Harlow on iMessage that I had gone home, she spammed me with a massive string of explicit, cursed reaction memes.

It wasn't that I was giving up. I had just slammed my head against a brick wall one too many times and needed to ice my concussion before throwing myself at it again. I genuinely felt like crushing on Asher for this many years had given me an actual clinical disease.

One minute I felt like absolute trash, the next I thought I could conquer the world, all while constantly terrified he would just leave me behind