The Infidelity Agreement

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A fortune teller told me, I couldn't have kids.

So my husband, Mark Stevens, felt totally justified cheating on me!

He knocked up his assistant, Chloe.

When I find out,

He tossed a piece of paper at me C the Cheating Agreement.

Fifteen cheating passes for each of us, per year. We don't interfere each other. Isn't that fair, right?

I laughed.

And signed it.

Then I called Alexander, the guy who chased me through college.

Time for our first date!

Three dates later, my husband was on his knees, begging me to come back!

...

I stumbled out of the hospital's office, numb.

Passing the mother and baby room, I heard weird noises.

Soft moans.

A bunch of moms with crying babies waited outside, looking pissed.

"What's going on in there? They've been in there forever!"

"Seriously, my baby's starving..."

"That sounds... inappropriate."

"Yeah, get a hotel room, people!"

I stopped.

The door flew open. A disheveled couple stumbled out.

The woman was flushed. The man was buckling his belt. It was painfully obvious what they'd been doing.

As they turned to leave, my blood froze.

The couple using the nursing room as their personal love nest?

My husband, Mark and his assistant, Chloe!

"Hey! You forgot your trash!" a mom snapped, pointing at used condoms on the nursing chair.

Mark scrambled back, shoving the condoms into the bin, flustered.

"Ugh, just trash. Pick it up," Chloe muttered, smoothing her skirt.

"And so urgent you couldn't get a hotel room? Clean up your condom wrappers too!" another mom kicked a small foil packet on the floor.

My heart plummeted.

Condoms?!

They actually did it... in the lactation room?!

Years of marriage.

Years of trying to have baby.

Countless specialists, no one could figure out why I couldn't conceive.

Until last week. I finally convinced Mark to get tested too.

Now, I clutched his sperm analysis report, my knuckles white.

I took all the blame from family and friends. But he was the infertile one!

"Vivian? What are you doing here?" Mark's face sheet-white.

Dead silence fell.

Dozens of eyes locked on me.

Pity.

Curiosity.

Judgment.

I took a deep breath, forcing calm. "You said you were in a meeting. What are you doing here?"

He didn't even blink. "Nothing! Chloe wasn't feeling well. I was nearby, so I brought her to get checked."

I bit back fury. "Feeling sick? Then see a doctor! What were you doing in the mom and baby's room?"

Mark floundered. Chloe piped up, her voice viciously sweet.

"Vivian, I had a sudden stomach ache. Couldn't find anywhere else to rest. Mark was just letting me rest in there." She emphasized "rest," her eyes glinting with triumph.

I felt nauseous. But I kept my eyes on my husband. "Is that true?"

He nodded instantly. "Yeah! Honey, but why are you here?"

I gave him a chance.

He chose the lie!

Fine.

I slid the report back into my purse, my voice icy. "Getting my fertility shot."

For a year, I'd come weekly.

My belly was a bruised mess.

Never once did I suspect Mark was the problem.

Never imagined that while I was injecting hormones, he was screwing his assistant!

Chloe snorted, a tiny, derisive sound.

Mark shot her a warning glare. "What are you standing around for? Go get your sister-in-law some breakfast!"

He reached for my hands.

I stepped back.

Chloe handed me a takeout container, a smug little smile playing on her lips.

I opened the container. The pungent, briny smell of clam chowder hit me full force.

Suppressing a wave of nausea, I looked up, my voice icy. "I don't eat seafood."

I'd told Mark a million times. He should have known.

He just glanced at the clam chowder, a flicker of annoyance crossing his face. "Viv, she meant well. It's just a little bit. It's rude to refuse her gesture completely."

Chloe seemed to gain confidence. "Yeah, Vivian. I was just trying to be nice. Anyone would think you're picking a fight."

My heart turned to stone.

For a second, I'd actually hoped him sending Chloe for food was... concern.

How stupid could I be?

I choked down the bitterness. Took another breath.

"Fine. Then you eat it."

I turned and walked away.

I got home. Mark followed me in.

"Honey, I think you overreacted today." His tone was reproachful, just like I was the problem.

"Chloe cried the whole way back. You need to apologize to her next time you see her."

I actually laughed. "Apologize? For what?"

Mark frowned. "You're usually so easygoing. What's gotten into you?"

I looked at him. At the face I'd loved for seven years. Now, he looked like a stranger, even slightly ridiculous.

Suddenly, this whole charade felt exhausting.

I took a deep breath, shoving the ache down deep. "Mark Stevens," I used his full name. "How long have you been sleeping with her?"

He froze. His eyes darted everywhere but mine. His voice rose, defensive. "What are you talking about?!"

"I said," I forced the words out, each one sharp, "how long have you been fucking Chloe?"

The living room plunged into silence.

He saw the ice in my eyes. He finally realized any lie was pointless.

The fake concern vanished, replaced by sullen defiance. "Fine. You know. I wasn't really hiding it, just... didn't know how to tell you. The thing is..."

He suddenly rummaged in his bag, pulling out a document. "Here. Look at this."

I saw red!

He dared to bring up divorce first?!

But when I opened it... I was speechless.

"You... you!" I trembled, rage stealing my words.

"Baby, don't get upset." Mark sounded almost... reasonable. "It's the "Cheating Agreement". I thought it through. We each get fifteen passes a year. It's fair, right?"

Blood rushed to my head, my ears ringing.

Looking at his smug, "problem solved" expression, I felt like my seven years of loving him were one big, pathetic joke.

"So," my voice was eerily calm, the fury locked tight. "This is your brilliant solution? Putting a price tag on betrayal? Making it a goddamn allowance?"

Mark frowned. "Sure, baby. What's wrong with that? Everything's AA these days. Cheating passes should be AA too. No one gets hurt."

I stared at him. Utterly speechless.

How low do you have to sink to quantify betrayal and call it "fair"?

"Honey, think about it. This is best for everyone." He sounded relieved, like he'd just balanced the budget. Heading for the shower, he tossed over his shoulder, "I'm beat. Hitting the shower."

Looking at the absurd document, I called my lawyer bestie, Tanya.

After I spilled everything, she exploded on the phone. "Jesus Christ! You really do find every kind of scumbag in this world!!"

I managed a bitter laugh. "I need your professional help. How do I protect everything I own?"

She gave me a crash course in marital asset protection.

"You'll win this hands down. But... what's your nuclear option? Your biggest leverage?"

I thought for a moment. "His low sperm count. Does that count?"

Silence. Then hysterical laughter. "Oh, it counts! I'll stake my next thirty years on making sure you bury him."

Her words actually helped. I felt marginally better.

By the time Mark got out of the shower, I'd signed.

"You signed?" He looked shocked.

"Yep. You made a compelling argument." I dusted my hands off, placing the document on the coffee table. "From today, we don't interfere in each other's private lives. Sounds fair, right?"

He puffed up, pleased with himself. "Yeah. Fair."

After that, Mark went wild.

No more hiding. He brought Chloe home, flaunting their affair right in front of me.

And I? I stuck to the agreement.

I never said a word against it. In fact, I made myself scarce, thoughtfully vacating our bedroom for them and moving into a hotel.

On our seventh anniversary, Mark suddenly wanted to "celebrate."

I thought about it. "Fine. But I'm bringing someone."

He agreed instantly. "Sure! Your new fling? Cool. Double date!" He hung up.

Alexander, sitting beside me, nearly choked. "You guys are wild! Anniversary double date with mistresses?"

I rolled my eyes. "Are you coming or not?"

He grinned. "Wouldn't miss this train wreck for the world. What's my role?"

I looked him over. Nearly 6'3", model looks, gym-toned body. "Just be devastatingly handsome."

I walked into the restaurant on Alexander's arm, wearing designer couture.

Mark's eyes lit up when he saw me.

He started forward, but Chloe yanked him back.

"Long time no see, Vivian." She smiled, deliberately pushing out her slightly rounded belly.

I feigned surprise. "Your stomach! It's showing!"

Mark looked uncomfortable. "Chloe's pregnant. But we talked. The baby can be yours after it's born."

I snorted, catching the venom in Chloe's eyes. "Wouldn't that be awkward? The birth mother's right here. What am I supposed to be? The nanny?"

Mark waved a dismissive hand. "Why not? You're my wife. My kid should be yours."

Biting back disgust, I kept my expression neutral.

Chloe eyed my dress, her voice dripping acid. "That dress must have cost a fortune, Vivian."

I glanced down. "Oh? I don't know. He bought it." I nodded towards Alexander.

He shrugged. "It's fine. Thirty grand for a dress isn't a big deal."

Chloe practically jumped. "Thirty thousand?"

Mark scowled. "Keep your voice down!"

She instantly turned syrupy sweet. "Oh, I was just surprised Vivian landed such a catch! And you are...?"

Her eyes were glued to Alexander, practically undressing him. Compared to average-looking Mark, Alexander was undeniably the more striking one.

"Alexander King." He answered coolly, his attention shifting back on me. He pulled out my chair, then smoothly moved the bowl of clam chowder away from me. "You don't eat these."

Mark frowned. "How many dates have you been on?"

I looked at Alexander, batting my lashes. "You tell him."

Mark's face darkened. "You knew each other before?"

Alexander's arm tightened around mine. "I've liked Vivian for years. Thanks for finally giving me a chance, Mark."

Mark shot up. "Vivian! Come outside with me! Now!"

Alexander immediately stepped between us, frowning.

I smiled, laying a hand on his arm. "It's fine. I'll be a minute. Keep Chloe company." I pretended not to see the eager glint in Chloe's eye as I followed Mark away.

"What did he mean? You knew each other before? How come I never knew?"