Reading Her Dirty Mind

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My husband could hear my dirty thoughts, and I had absolutely no idea.

Ever since we got married, Julian and I treated each other like polite strangers. He barely spoke, I kept my walls up, and we still had not slept together.

I sat in the bedroom, keeping my face totally blank as he stepped out of the steaming shower. But on the inside, my mind was running wild. If he pins me down against this mattress with those thick, muscular arms, will I literally pass out from the pleasure?

Chapter 1

[It would feel so damn good.]

[What did Piper's book call it again?]

[Oh right, getting totally wrecked.]

[And we would have to do it right in front of the bathroom mirror, with steam fogging up the glass everywhere.]

Julian's foot slipped on the hardwood floor, and he nearly went down. I stepped forward and grabbed his arm. "You okay?"

[Why the hell won't this towel just drop?]

[Why is he wrapped up so tight?]

[It's not like looking at his bare body is going to kill him.]

[His abs are literally sculpted like a Greek statue.]

[If those long, muscular fingers gripped my waist hard enough, I would melt into a puddle on the floor.]

"I'm fine." Julian spoke fast, his voice tight, like he was desperately trying to stop a disaster. He gripped the edge of his towel with white knuckles. "Sorry, I couldn't find my bathrobe, so I just grabbed a towel."

[Of course you couldn't find it.]

[I threw it in the trash.]

[It's probably getting shredded at the city dump right now.]

[I should throw this damn towel out tomorrow, too.]

I dropped my hand from his arm and kept my voice completely flat. "Just be careful next time."

"Right." Julian threw on his pajamas and climbed into bed.

I flipped the page of my book, but my peripheral vision was totally locked on him. He was wearing a dark, long-sleeved shirt and matching pants.

[His old worn-out tank top was way better.]

[So much easier to slip my hands under.]

[Too bad I only have the guts to feel him up in my head.]

[I'd be terrified of waking him up.]

[Ugh, I seriously want to spike his drink with a sleeping pill.]

[Then I could do whatever I want to him.]

I stared at the words on the page, keeping my features locked in a mask of indifference.

Julian, who had just settled against the headboard, suddenly threw the blankets off and stood back up.

I gave him a weird look. "Not going to sleep?"

He refused to meet my eyes. "I haven't been sleeping well lately. I'm going to take a pill."

I didn't think much of it and looked back down at my book.

When Julian walked back into the bedroom, he had changed. He was wearing the old, worn-out tank top. He cleared his throat. "It was too hot in those."

I gave a cool nod. "Mhm."

Julian laid back down. Maybe he really was burning up, because he kicked the blanket down to his waist. He rested his head against his muscular arm. His broad chest and perfectly defined muscles were on full display, making it physically impossible for me to look away. He had a better build than the guys in those smutty comics.

He seemed to fall asleep almost instantly. I played the part of the good wife and lowered the AC temperature for him. After reading for another half hour, I clicked off the lamp and went to sleep.

I drifted off, blissfully oblivious to the heavy tension radiating from the other side of the mattress.

Looking back, I had no idea that while I slept, the man beside me was lying stiff as a board in the pitch black. His jaw was clenched tight as he stared blankly at the ceiling.

No sneaking hands. No steamy bathroom fantasies. Just Julian, wide awake and suffocating in the silence until the sun came up.

The next morning, I stumbled out of the bedroom, still half-asleep. Martha was in the kitchen. "Where's Julian?" she asked. "He's usually up by now."

"He took a sleeping pill last night."

Martha paused and raised an eyebrow. "A sleeping pill?" She shook her head, looking totally confused. "I cleaned the medicine cabinet this morning. That bottle of pills hasn't been touched." She pointed a finger toward the kitchen counter. "But someone definitely left the jar of espresso roast wide open."

Chapter 2

I never expected Julian to sleep straight through the afternoon. Even after passing out for that long, he still had dark circles under his eyes.

[Guess his sleep quality really is garbage. Thank god I kept my hands to myself last night, or hed look even worse. I should probably play it safe from now on.]

Julian, who had his back to me, suddenly whipped around. His dark eyes locked onto mine for a long, heavy moment. "I slept perfectly fine."

[?]

[Like I give a damn.]

Julian ignored me.

[Men are so damn dramatic. Exhausting.]

Julian's jaw clenched tight. He shot me a fiercely aggressive glare before slamming the door shut with a deafening crash.

That evening, my high school group chat started blowing up. The old class president was putting together a reunion.

My best friend Piper called me. "Cora, you're coming, right?"

"Yeah, I'm free."

Piper and I went way back to high school. We miraculously ended up at the same college, and we had been attached at the hip ever since. "What about your husband? Is he coming?"

The volume on my phone was loud enough to carry. I looked up at Julian sitting across the room. He opened his mouth to speak.

[Don't you dare say yes. There is zero chance I'm dragging him along.]

Julian snapped his mouth shut. He gave a slight shake of his head.

I smiled to myself and answered Piper. "He's not coming."

I heard an audible sigh of relief on the other end of the line. "Thank god your husband is staying home. Bennett is going to be there. You know, your high school ex? He's been single ever since you guys broke up. Word is he still wears that bracelet you gave him."

Piper's voice echoed crystal clear in the quiet room.

"It's fine," I replied dryly.

"Good. Next Tuesday at seven. Don't flake." She hung up.

Seeing Julian sitting there looking completely unbothered, the tiny knot of anxiety in my chest dissolved.

[Why was I even stressing? Even if I actually cheated on him, he probably wouldn't care. There's no way he'd throw a fit over something so trivial]

"Absolutely not!" Julian's face suddenly turned ice-cold.

I jumped in my seat and stared at him, completely thrown off.

[What the hell is his problem?!]

Julian met my eyes. His brow twitched slightly, and the rigid tension bled out of his posture. "I mean Martha's cooking. It's not working for me."

Martha, who had just rushed into the room holding a spatula, stopped dead in her tracks.

Tuesday evening, right before I had to leave. Julian spent half an hour staring in the mirror, getting dressed up. He looked flawless from head to toe. With his sharp jawline and the body of a runway model, putting in actual effort just made him look ridiculously hot.

[Piper said when a married man dresses up, there's an eighty percent chance he's going out to cheat.]

Julian's hand froze right as he was about to spray his hair. He awkwardly set the bottle down on the counter. He turned around, his dark gaze dropping straight to my bare shoulders. "Put on this jacket and cover up that damn backless dress. It's ninety degrees out, are you trying to give me a heatstroke?"

"Then don't let me catch other guys staring at your back."

By the time I showed up at the venue, the private room was already packed. Piper waved her hand, signaling me to come over. I dropped into the seat next to her.

She nudged my ribs, jutting her chin toward the other side of the room. "Look at his wrist," she muttered.

Bennett had lost that awkward teenage vibe. He was chatting effortlessly with a group of guys. As he raised his whiskey glass with his right hand, his sleeve slid back, exposing a worn-out braided bracelet. It was a cheap trinket I had bought at a street fair across from our high school years ago.

Back in high school, Julian was in the class right next to mine. We were never really close. We were barely more than neighbors who grew up on the same block, and we almost never spoke in the hallways.

But his mom was always making Julian drop stuff off for me. And since he literally waited outside my classroom every single day after the final bell, people eventually figured out we knew each other. And naturally, they completely misunderstood our relationship.

I tried to clear it up a few times, but no one listened, so I just stopped trying.

Chapter 3

Eventually, those rumors died out. All thanks to Bennett. He took every chance he got to shoot down the gossip, way more aggressively than I ever did. He talked peoples ears off until our classmates were so utterly sick of hearing about it that they just stopped whispering about me and Julian.

After the final bell rang, I decided to thank Bennett by treating him to milkshakes at the diner across the street. That was the first time I ever ditched Julian for the walk home.

When I told him my plans, Julian barely reacted. He just gave a stiff, single nod and walked away.

Bennett and Julian were polar opposites. Bennett was a golden retriever. He wore his heart on his sleeve, completely incapable of hiding what he felt.

If he was hyped, you knew it. If he was pissed, you knew it.

Senior year, he asked me out. I didn't really get the whole dating thing back then. The concepts of liking and not liking someone were just fuzzy static in my brain.

But after Bennett cornered me for the thirty-fifth time, I caved. He wouldn't drop it. He relentlessly pushed me to admit I liked him back.

I finally threw my hands up, totally out of patience. "Fine. Yeah, I like you."

The second the words left my mouth, I saw Julian. He was standing perfectly still in the classroom doorway, backlit by the late afternoon sun. The golden hour light caught the edges of his dark hair, but his face was cast in deep shadow.

His expression was a stone wall. Not a single muscle moved to give away what was going on in his head.

My stomach gave a weird, uncomfortable jolt.

Bennett casually shoved one hand into his pocket. His other hand was gripping the strap of my backpackthe same backpack with the little bunny keychain Julian had given me. Bennett flashed a cocky, unapologetic grin.

"Julian, man. Cora and I are officially a thing now. I've got walking her home covered from here on out. Thanks for playing bodyguard, though. Catch you later."

Julian didn't blink. His dark eyes stayed dead-locked on Bennett, his jaw ticking as his lips pressed into a thin, white line.

Even with my notoriously terrible radar for social cues, the heavy, suffocating tension in the room was impossible to ignore. I stepped forward and grabbed Bennetts sleeve, shooting a look at Julian. "Julian, I'm going to be late tonight. Tell my parents for me."

"Right."

After that day, Julian and I never walked home together again.

Everyone in that private room knew my history with Bennett. But they also knew I had a ring on my finger, so a silent, collective agreement kept everyone from bringing up the high school drama.

Except for one guy who apparently missed the memo. He zeroed in on the frayed bracelet on Bennett's wrist and smirked. "Bennett, man, you're making bank now. Why are you still wearing that cheap piece of junk?"

The clinking glasses stopped. The room went dead silent for three agonizing seconds. Every single pair of eyes darted between me and Bennett.

Bennett casually swirled the amber liquid in his glass. "Someone important gave it to me. It's priceless."

The guy awkwardly cleared his throat. "Right. Gotta hold onto that stuff."

Bennett rubbed his thumb over the worn red bead, his gaze dragging deliberately across the room to burn into my skin.

Halfway through the night, the claustrophobia got to me. I slipped out of the room to hit the restroom.

When I walked out, Bennett was waiting in the hallway. He stood leaning against the wall, hands tucked into his pockets, the top button of his dress shirt undone. "Long time no see."

I threw a sideways glance at the bathroom door. "This isn't exactly the VIP lounge for catching up."

"We can go somewhere else."

I crossed my arms. "We aren't exactly on catching-up terms, Bennett."

He didn't flinch. A bitter smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "You haven't changed at all, Cora."

"When you dumped me, you were just as cold and detached. Exactly like your shadow, Julian."

My relationship with Bennett officially flatlined the summer after graduation.

Chapter 4

There was no dramatic reason. Bennetts family had arranged for him to study abroad, and he went along with it.

When I dumped him, he looked at me like I had grown a second head.

"I'm not staying out of the country forever," he had argued. "I'm coming back the second I finish my degree. Why do we have to break up over this?"

"I don't do unpredictability."

His brow pulled tight, frustration bleeding into his voice. "We have something good, Cora. We're supposed to face that unpredictability together. Why can't you just make a sacrifice for me?"

I looked at him dead in the eye. "Why aren't you making a sacrifice for me?"

That shut him up pretty fast. We both chose our own futures. We walked away and never looked back.

"So, you actually married Julian?" Bennett was tailing me down the hallway.

I gave a single nod.

"Why? You couldn't even stand the guy in high school. You literally thanked me for shooting down those rumors about you two."

"I didn't hate him."

Bennett wasn't letting it go. His eyes burned into me, refusing to drop the subject. "Julian is a brick wall, Cora. He's ice-cold, and so are you. How the hell does a marriage like that even work? He's the last guy on earth you should be with."

I stopped dead in my tracks. It was Julian.

He was leaning against the wall at the end of the corridor. He had rolled his sleeves up past his elbows, exposing the thick, corded muscles of his forearms. Clean, sharp, and intensely dangerous. His dark eyes locked onto Bennett. The temperature in the hallway seemed to plummet ten degrees.

Julian closed the distance in slow, deliberate strides. He draped his arm over my shoulder, his voice terrifyingly calm. "Wrong for her or not, the ring is already on her finger. Long time no see, Bennett."

Julian's arm locked around my waist like an iron vise, pulling me flush against his side and claiming me entirely as his territory. He stared down at Bennett from a position of absolute dominance, practically radiating a heavy, suffocating wave of alpha male aggression.

Bennett narrowed his eyes, not even bothering to hide his absolute disgust. "Julian. I'm catching up with an old classmate. Is that a problem for you?"

"Catching up is fine. But you need to remember your boundaries." Julian flashed a polite smile that didn't reach his eyesthe ultimate look of a predator who had already won.

"Because Cora is my wife now. And we are deeply in love with each other."

When he said that last part, his grip on my waist twitched slightly, a micro-tremor of uncertainty leaking through his iron facade. He shot a quick, sideways glance down at me.

I kept my eyes pinned to the floor, my expression totally unreadable.

The heavy tension shattered when my gaze dropped.

[This damn pair of grey sweatpants is practically begging me to commit a crime.]

Julian squeezed his eyes shut for a second, a hard muscle jumping in his tense jaw. He let out a slow, deeply resigned exhale, shaking his head slightly as if giving up on whatever serious point he was trying to make.

"Deeply in love?" Bennett let out a harsh, mocking laugh. "Cora only married you because you two grew up on the same block. She just settled for what was familiar. If she actually wanted you, she wouldn't have dated me."

Julian's fingers dug into my waist. I could feel the sudden, icy drop in his body temperature straight through my clothes. "Because I was young and stupid."

I stared Bennett down, my voice dead flat. "Whether we love each other or not is our business. We broke up years ago. You don't get a front-row seat to judge my marriage."

My stomach churned at this kind of drama. I didn't come to a high school reunion just to watch my husband and my ex mark their territory in a hallway.

Bennett physically recoiled, clearly not expecting me to defend Julian. The color drained from his face. "Cora, that's not what I meant"

The tension bled out of Julian's shoulders. The predatory smirk returned to his lips. "She's right, Bennett. The past is in the past. Stop acting like a stage-five clinger and move on."

That was the breaking point for Bennett. The veins in his neck bulged as he spat the words. "If you hadn't set me up back then"

"Hey! What are you guys doing out here? I was wondering where everyone went." The class president practically skipped out of the restroom, instantly cutting Bennett off.

I frowned, my thoughts spinning.

[Set him up? What the hell is he talking about?]

Chapter 5

Julian's hand suddenly dropped to my waist, his grip firm as he pulled me flush against his side. I tilted my head to look up at him.

A polite, utterly fake smile touched his lips. "And you are?"

The class president enthusiastically introduced himself. "You must be Julian, right? Man, I heard your name all the time back in high school.

You definitely look the part. Nice to finally put a face to the name."

[You were literally front row for every single piece of high school drama. Theres no way you havent seen him.]

[Oh right. He was also the captain of the Bennett-and-Cora fan club.]

[Every time Bennett and I were in the same room, he was the one cheering the loudest.]

"That's right. I'm Cora's husband." Julian's massive hand clamped down on the class president's hand like a steel vise, his knuckles turning totally white from the force.

The class president's face twisted in agony as he sucked in a sharp breath.

"My apologies. I've been training mixed martial arts lately, and the muscle memory hasn't quite faded."

[? Do you really need to take your MMA aggression out on a random guy's hand bones?]

The class president clearly had the exact same thought. But seeing Julian's perfectly polite expression, he nervously pushed past it. "You and Cora are childhood sweethearts, and now you're hitched! Huge congratulations, man. Such a shame we missed out on the open bar at your wedding."

"I'm sure we'll catch the next one." Bennett flashed a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

[Pfft.]

The polite smile instantly vanished from Julian's face.

"Whoa there, Bennett, what the hell are you talking about? Come on, let's head back and grab some drinks. Julian, you should join us!

Everyone is dying to meet Cora's husband." The class president desperately tried to smooth things over, herding the three of us back toward the main party.

By the time the reunion was wrapping up, half the room was completely trashed.

One of the girls I used to hang out with stumbled over. "Cora, you really hit the jackpot with this husband of yours. He's gorgeous, and he carries himself so well."

Julian gave a courteous nod. "You're too kind."

Another classmate chimed in. "Bennett's not exactly bad on the eyes either. Cora, you're seriously living the dream. Surrounded by total eye candy."

"Cora got straight A's and has a killer career. She deserves the eye candy." The drunk girl tugged at my sleeve. "Come on, Cora. Who do you think is hotter? Your husband or Bennett?"

[Is this the adult version of asking a kid if they love mom or dad more?]

[How the hell am I supposed to answer that??]

But she was way too drunk to let it go, hanging onto me and demanding an answer. The other girl was staring me down like a hawk. They looked like they'd plant their feet there all night until they got the juicy drama they wanted.

I gave a half-assed shrug. "They're both hot."

That finally got them to back off. I let out a breath and went back to slowly munching on a cracker. I was so checked out that I didn't even notice the empty space next to me.

Piper was the one who spotted it first. "Where's Julian?"

"Uh, no idea."

"You've seriously got your head in the clouds. Your husband vanishes and you don't even blink." Piper scanned the room, then pointed toward the far corner. "Oof. Somebody is pissed."

She had watched that entire trainwreck of an interaction go down.

I gave her a confused look. "Why would he be pissed?"

"Why don't you go ask him yourself?"

[So much damn work.]

Resigned to my fate, I dragged myself over to his corner. Julian was slouched back in a booth, silently throwing back a drink. His expression was a blank wall, giving absolutely nothing away.

But keeping Piper's warning in mind, I asked anyway. "Are you mad?"

"No," he muttered into his glass.

"Then why are you sitting over here by yourself?"

"The air is better."

I glanced over at my former classmates grinding and sweating on the makeshift dance floor.

[The whole place reeks of cheap liquor and bad decisions.]

[Is this really his aesthetic?]

[I don't get it, but I respect it.]

[God, I am such a supportive wife.]

I mentally patted myself on the back, dropped a casual "Okay," and turned to walk away. Before I could even fully pivot, a hand snatched the hem of my shirt.

Chapter 6

Julian's voice carried a faint, almost imperceptible edge of grievance, like he was making an accusation. "You complimented him."

[Complimented who?]

"You called Bennett hot."

"I was just brushing them off."

"Really?"

[Of course it's true, I was just trying to get them to shut up.]

[And objectively speaking, Julian is definitely hotter anyway.]

The corner of Julian's mouth ticked up slightly.

[But Bennett isn't exactly hard on the eyes either, or I wouldn't have dated him in the first place.]

[As for Julian sure, he's gorgeous, but when you look at the same face every single day, even a supermodel gets boring.]

I gave a serious nod. "Obviously."

I figured that would extinguish whatever fire he was nursing, but the muscle in his jaw instantly locked down tighter. For a guy who usually wore the expression of a brick wall, I had never seen so much chaotic turbulence flash across his face.

[Did I say something wrong?]

[Obviously not.]

[He's just being ridiculously high-maintenance.]

Julian let out a dark, breathless chuckle. He gripped my wrist and pulled me down onto the booth seat, but instead of sitting beside me, he dropped to one knee right in front of me. His dark gaze burned a hole through me. "Me or Bennett. Who do you like more?"

It was only then that I noticed he had ripped open the collar of his dress shirt somewhere along the line, popping the top two buttons. Just below his collarbone lay a solid expanse of muscular, vein-corded chest, glistening with a thin layer of sweat that rose and fell with his heavy breathing.

"You're my husband."

"I want to hear you say it."

That demand was actually a pretty tall order for me. I was used to keeping my walls completely solid, and I was notoriously terrible at talking about my feelings.

Seeing me hesitate, Julian's fingers hooked around another button and popped it loose. He leaned in closer, dropping the neckline completely open.

[Holy mother of god.]

From my angle looking down, I got an unobstructed, front-row view of his ridiculous physique. The pale skin, the tightly corded v-line, and even the faint, dark edge of his black boxer briefs. Definitely the same brand stacked in his closet.

Tucked away in this dimly lit, isolated corner, having the usually untouchable, cold-blooded Julian kneeling right between my legs while a chaotic party raged just feet away delivered a wildly intoxicating hit of adrenaline.

"Cora. Him or me. Who do you like?" Julian dragged the question out of his throat again. His deep, gravelly voice bit out every single syllable