Betrayed by the Girl I Loved in Secret

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1: 1

At the start of junior year, my best friend and I both ran for vice president of the student council.

He was the one who suggested that whoever lost had to dress up as a clown and run eight laps around the track.

In the end I won by ten votes.

But the next second, my girlfriend, Maureen Henson, put photos of the night I'd been molested at a bar up on the big screen.

Along with a pile of private photos.

She announced, cold and flat:

"I don't think a man who's this money-hungry, with a private life this messy, deserves to be in this race."

Everyone turned to me with disgust in their eyes, like they were looking at the filthiest piece of trash.

I was disqualified on the spot and thrown off the student council.

Recognizing the background in those photos, I stopped Maureen and asked, shaking:

"Why lie? Those private photos, they were clearly you"

She leaned in close with a smile, deliberately lowering her voice:

"Baby, who it was doesn't matter."

"You know how vain Merlin Walker is. He goes red-eyed over a strand of hair out of place. Make him wear something like that and he'd cry all night."

"Besides, you did get molested, and you did sleep with me. Both are facts. I just combined them, that's all. Be good, and once you finish running I'll take you out for a nice dinner."

I watched her and my best friend slap a cheerful high-five and start debating where to celebrate.

I wiped away my tears and dialed a number:

"Mom, I've thought it over. I've decided to come study abroad where you are."

Someone dug a clown suit out of a storage room and tossed it in front of me.

It was smeared with some kind of stain, damp to the touch.

The guy explained, grinning:

"Spilled my instant noodles at lunch and couldn't quite catch it. Don't be so picky, Harry."

"Anyway, I hear rich people party pretty wild, they pour red wine and stuff all over the guys they buy. You must be used to that already, right?"

"Of course, if you'd rather run it naked we wouldn't mind either. Perfect chance to admire the design department's heartthrob, oh, sorry, the department slut's body, hahaha~"

The smell of instant noodle broth, mixed with the leers of those few guys.

It sat on my chest like a stone.

The truth was, that night Maureen had happened to show up in time, stopped it, and called the police, so nothing had actually happened.

But I'd still been terrified, afraid that if word got out I'd be talked about behind my back.

She was the one who'd promised, in her own words, to keep it a secret for me.

And now, the one nailing me to the pillory as a "slut" was also her.

When I came out of the restroom after changing, Maureen was waiting at the door.

"Relax, I kept watch for you. Nobody peeked."

"I told them, too, not to go running their mouths."

They were considerate words, but hearing them only made me cold.

I lifted my eyes to her:

"So when you said you'd been drugged that night, that was a lie to me, all so you could take photos while I was asleep and help Merlin win the race. Right?"

In all the years Maureen and I had been dating in secret, we'd never crossed that line.

Until a few nights ago, when she suddenly called me, saying that while she was out lining up sponsors for a school event, someone had slipped a drug into her drink.

Seeing her look so pitiful, begging me to help him, I softened.

I never imagined it was a trap she'd carefully laid for me.

Before Maureen could speak, Merlin's eyes reddened first.

"Harry, don't blame Maureen. She was just afraid of the shame if I lost."

"Why don't you take the clown suit off and give it to me, I'll run in your place. So what if people laugh at me"

Maureen frowned and stopped him:

"Run? Since when could you, you little vain thing, stand wearing something that ugly?"

"Besides, you don't have Harry's stamina. Just stay put and behave."

She looked me over, displeased:

"Harrison Harding, stop being so obsessed with winning. It's only a few photos. Isn't it enough that I know you're innocent?"

"Not everyone came out of an orphanage the way you did. Merlin's parents and relatives all know he's running for vice president. If he loses, where's he supposed to put his face?"

My heart clenched all at once, and it hurt so much I couldn't breathe.

I never knew when coming out of an orphanage had become a crime.

September in Southport, and the evening was still oppressively muggy.

By the sixth lap, my vision kept going black, and I went down.

Behind me came Maureen's anxious voice: "How is it, are you okay?"

I turned my head on instinct, then froze.

She had a cold soda in one hand for Merlin, the other gently rubbing his back.

Her eyes exasperated and doting.

"Drink slower, no one's going to take it from you. See? You choked, didn't you?"

"Only two more sips. Your stomach's bad, too much cold stuff won't sit right."

She hadn't so much as glanced at me the whole time.

A few freshmen who'd just finished their orientation drills happened to pass by, recognized Maureen, and greeted her, envious and excited.

"Maureen, is this the guy your boyfriend? Wow, you two look so good together, wishing you a happy ever after!"

The others chimed in, teasing:

"Ugh, you've been rubbing it in our faces for three years now, still not sick of it?"

"Come clean, you two have secretly been together forever, haven't you? Doesn't matter, late-night snacks are on you tonight!"

I watched Maureen and Merlin share a smile.

Not one of them denied it.

The burning in my throat from thirst spread down into everything inside me.

After that night at the hotel, I'd asked Maureen if we could go public about us.

But she'd frowned and said:

"Harry, we're both on the student council. We have to avoid any appearance of impropriety."

"Otherwise people will suspect that I, as president, am abusing my position to hand my boyfriend favors. Let's wait until we graduate."

So it turned out it wasn't about avoiding appearances.

It was just that the one she wanted to go public with was someone else.

I quietly took out my phone and opened that familiar profile picture:

Mom, I've thought it over. I've decided to come study abroad where you are.

2: 2

Two months ago, my birth mother found me.

She lived in England now, and she'd been wanting to bring me over to study there.

But I couldn't bear to leave Maureen, so I'd never agreed, and never even got around to telling her about any of it.

Now, there was even less reason to.

I forced myself through the last lap, planning to go straight back to the dorm and rest.

But Maureen said everyone was heading to a restaurant to celebrate Merlin, and I had to come along.

My head was pounding, my stomach was off, and I wasn't even on the student council anymore. I meant to say no.

Maureen frowned.

"Merlin thinks of you as a brother. That's the only reason he wanted you there. Are you really going to fake being sick and ruin it for him? If you don't go, he'll be hurt."

"And that whole thing earlier was just people running their mouths. There's no need to take it to heart."

"Harrison, you bet and you lost. Don't make people think you're a sore loser. Go change, quick, don't keep everyone waiting."

In the end, she dragged me to the restaurant anyway.

Once the food was on the table, someone gave Maureen a knowing look. "Maureen, didn't you get Merlin a celebration gift? Come on, let's see it."

Maureen raised an eyebrow and pulled a jewelry box from her bag.

She opened it. Inside was a pair of elegant men's diamond cuff links.

Merlin clapped a hand over his mouth in delight, and the others shrieked.

"No way, aren't those from that little jewelry show recently? Those have to be, what, four hundred grand?"

"No wonder Maureen coughed up the money her family gave her for a car, and even sold that bracelet she just got. Merlin really does have it going on."

I froze, and my eyes went to Maureen's wrist.

Sure enough, it was bare.

Last year, Maureen had fallen for a designer bracelet.

Her family was comfortable enough, but not the kind of comfortable where they'd drop a hundred grand on a bracelet without blinking.

So I worked myself to the bone for a year and a half, and took a few small design jobs on the side.

Then I pulled part of it from the allowance my mother had started sending me, and finally gave it to her a few weeks ago for her birthday.

She'd hugged me then, so happy, saying she'd treasure it, that she'd keep it until she was eighty.

And now she'd sold it? For Merlin?

All at once, the nausea in my stomach was unbearable.

I shot to my feet, the chair screeching against the floor, and everyone turned to stare at me.

I didn't stop to explain. I rushed to the restroom outside and heaved until there was nothing left.

When I came back out, Maureen was standing at the door, her face ugly, and she started in on me at once.

"Harrison, how long are you going to keep sulking?"

"Do you have any idea what it looked like, you walking out like that in the middle of everything? It humiliated Merlin. He thinks you're still angry. His eyes went red."

"When you go back in, apologize to him."

I found it almost funny.

"You sold the thing I broke my back to buy you, to buy another guy a gift, and I'm not supposed to be angry?"

"Maureen, do you even remember today is our fifth anniversary?"

Maureen went still, her brow knotting tighter. "Can you stop being unreasonable? Who said I forgot?"

She shoved a folder against my chest.

"Weren't you planning to do jewelry design after graduation?"

"Here. These are photos I took for you at the show. Enough to keep you studying for a while."

Looking at the photos, I laughed.

"So Merlin gets diamond cuff links worth hundreds of thousands, and all I'm worth is a stack of pictures you snapped in passing?"

"Maureen, which one of us is actually your boyfriend?"

Irritation swept over her face.

"Everything's fine and you have to bring this up? Why?"

"We can celebrate the anniversary every single year, but today matters to Merlin. He's wanted those cuff links for ages. You're supposed to be his brother and you didn't do a thing, so shouldn't I at least show a friend some kindness on your behalf?"

"It's just an accessory. You're going to fight him over even this? Fine, once I'm working, I'll get you something better. Money, money, that's all you talk about. Harrison, we're not even out in the real world yet. Don't turn this materialistic!"

I just stared as she turned and stormed off, furious.

But this had nothing to do with the cuff links.

When I got back to the door of the private room, it was half open, and inside they were playing a spin-the-wheel game.

Merlin's spin landed on picking someone of the opposite sex to kiss for three minutes.

Refuse, and he'd have to drink a beer.

He caught sight of me out of the corner of his eye and made a show of it. "Ah, well, my stomach's a little off today... but I'll just drink."

He'd barely reached for it when Maureen snatched the glass away. "You're not feeling well and you still want to drink? Are you trying to kill yourself?"

Then she cupped the back of Merlin's head and kissed him.

3: 3

Merlin's eyes slid over to me, and there was nothing left of the old warmth or friendliness in them.

Only the taunt of a winner.

I couldn't watch anymore. I turned and stumbled out of the hotel.

But the moment I got past the front doors, my stomach only hurt worse, and my head spun harder.

Everything went black, and I passed out.

When I opened my eyes again, some kind stranger had already gotten me to the hospital.

A nurse was hooking up my IV, scolding me without much patience.

"What is wrong with you, young man? Working yourself that hard on an empty stomach?"

"It's this hot out. Don't you know you can still get heatstroke and dehydrated at night? You threw up all over your pants. The male nurse already took them off you, so hurry up and get someone from your family to bring you a new pair."

Maybe it was the IV, but my bladder felt tight and full.

The trouble was, under the blanket I had nothing on but a pair of underwear, so there was no way I could get to the bathroom on my own.

I thought about it. The restaurant where Maureen and the others were was the closest place to me.

I called Maureen.

The first several calls got cut off. It wasn't until the tenth try that she finally picked up.

Embarrassed, I kept my voice low.

"Maureen, I got heatstroke and passed out. I'm at the hospital right now. Could you buy me a pair of pants and bring them over?"

"Something really cheap is fine..."

Maureen cut me off, irritated.

"Harrison, are you ever going to stop with the act?"

"Merlin's in a good mood right now. Can you really not stand to see him happy? Enough. I don't have the time or the patience for your drama."

The line went dead without mercy, leaving only the cold beep in my ear.

In the end it was my academic advisor who got my message for help. He grabbed his own sweatpants, rushed over, and looked after me all night.

The next day, as I was being discharged, he asked me one more time to be sure.

"Harry, are you certain you want to file for withdrawal?"

I opened my phone. Maureen hadn't called back. She hadn't even sent a single text.

There was only a post from that same classmate who'd egged her on to give the gift last night.

Let's congratulate the happy couple. Wedding night tonight~

The photo was Maureen holding up a slightly tipsy Merlin as they walked into the hotel.

Underneath, Merlin had left a laughing-crying face and a bashful one.

Maureen had replied:

Stop it, delete that for me right now. Don't you know Merlin's shy?

But she never denied the caption.

I stared at that reply for a long time.

Then I put my phone away and pulled my mouth into something like a smile for my advisor.

"Yeah. I'm certain."

I followed him to the office and filled out the withdrawal paperwork.

When I got back to the dorm, though, I found all my personal things dumped outside the door.

Even my blanket was soaked, reeking of disinfectant.

I frowned at my three roommates. "What's this supposed to mean?"

The dorm leader kicked a chair over and jabbed a finger at my face.

"You've still got the nerve to ask? Your good buddy Merlin told us everything you've been up to. You sleep around, and you only got out of the hospital this morning because you caught some filthy disease. How do you have the face to keep living in this dorm? You trying to get the rest of us sick?"

"We're not living with something dirty like you. Grab your stuff and get out, fast, or I'm reporting you to the school!"

I froze for a second, unable to make sense of it.

In the end it was Ken Finch, the roommate I usually got along with best, who pulled me out into the hallway and warned me under his breath.

"Harry, this morning Merlin suddenly posted some... um, pretty revealing photos of you in our whole department group chat."

"He deleted them fast, but a lot of people still saw. Everyone got worked up and threw a bunch of questions at him. Anyway, just look for yourself and you'll get it."

Confused, I tapped into the thousand-person group I'd always kept on mute.

When I saw what was in there, my mind went off with a roar.

Whoa, who knew Harrison had a body like that? Bet he's got plenty of clients.

Heard someone saw the advisor pick him up from the hospital this morning, and he wasn't even wearing last night's pants. Don't tell me he got busted in a vice raid? That rough, played himself all the way into the hospital?

Ew, so dirty, so gross. Think he's got something contagious?... Three seconds of pity for his roommates.

To all of it, Merlin posted a shushing face.

Aw, it really was just a slip of the finger. Just pretend you didn't see, everyone.

Harry's got no parents. It's not easy for him, trying to earn a little money. As for whether he actually caught something... I really shouldn't be spilling someone's private business. Anyway, I hope nobody discriminates against him, and please protect yourselves. Always be careful about disinfecting.

I didn't need to look to know what those few messages Merlin had deleted from the top were.

They had to be the photos Maureen put up on the big screen last night.

I couldn't read the messages after that anymore.

My whole body was shaking hard, and there was only one thing left in my head.

Maureen forwarded those photos to Merlin.

This was what she'd meant when she said no one would ever pass them around.

4: 4

When I found Merlin on duty in the student council office, another student was still there, gossiping with him, more than happy to keep it going.

"Merlin, is that thing about Harrison for real? And you're still friends with him? Doesn't it disgust you?"

Merlin spread his hands, helpless.

"There are pictures. It's the truth. Lying's really not my thing."

"What can I do, I feel sorry for him. I mean, I heard his mom was a whore who caught some filthy disease and died, that's why his dad dumped him at the orphanage. Guess you get the son you'd expect from a mother like that."

Rage shot straight to the top of my skull. I kicked the door open.

"You're lying. My mother was nothing like that. I won't let you insult her!"

I rushed at Merlin and threw my arm up high.

But the next second, someone shoved me to the floor.

Maureen glared at me, her eyes full of fury.

"Harrison, what the hell has gotten into you?!"

My forehead struck the corner of the desk, and a hot stream poured out at once.

The blood on my face startled Maureen. She reached for me, anxious.

"...Harry, are you okay? I didn't mean to"

But Merlin grabbed her arm, his eyes reddening as if he'd been wronged.

"Maureen, I was afraid Harry was still angry, so I went to his dorm this morning to say sorry."

"I was worried people would spread rumors about last night, so I even went out of my way to explain things for him in our own department group chat. And instead of appreciating it, he stole the cuff links you gave me."

"I didn't want to blow it up and make things worse for him, so I called him aside on his own. We're all friends. I figured he could just give them back and that'd be the end of it. But he actually tried to hit me..."

As he said it, he threw a glance at the other student.

The guy was his friend, and he nodded right away. "Yeah, I saw it with my own eyes. Harrison's the one who stole the cuff links!"

He snatched my bag without a word and turned it upside down.

And there, mixed in with everything, were the diamond cuff links.

I looked at Maureen in a panic, trying to explain. "I didn't. He was the one who first"

"Enough!"

Maureen cut me off, her eyes full of disappointment.

"Harrison, Merlin looks out for you every step of the way, and you just can't leave him alone. You'd even steal your own friend's things? Do you really hate seeing him do well that much?"

"You really are a fatherless, motherless nobody, no upbringing at all. Apologize to Merlin right now!"

I stared at her, unable to believe it.

Back before I found my mother, when people called me a bastard, I felt small too. I envied everyone who had family that loved them.

It was Maureen who had held me close, aching for me, who said,

"Harry, you're the most wonderful boy I've ever known. In my heart, you're better than any of the people who have parents."

"From now on I'm your family. I'll love you double, enough for the parents you never had too."

So it's true. The person who knows you best.

Is the one who knows exactly where to sink the knife for the most pain.

I looked at her without any expression. "And if I won't?"

Maureen held my gaze for a long moment, then turned to the others who had come running.

"Call the police now."

"And put it on the broadcast. Announce it to the whole school. Harrison Harding, design department, is a thief."

Someone tried to reason with her. "Maureen, are you sure? If you do this, Harrison won't just get a major disciplinary mark and forced leave."

"He'll have a record too. It could hurt his job prospects down the road. The things have already been found anyway, so maybe..."

Maureen's face was cold.

"No. If he dares steal from Merlin now, who knows what he might do to hurt him later."

"He needs to be taught a lesson. Only then will he learn."

Before long, the whole school knew I was a thief.

Amid a chorus of curses, the police put me in the car.

But Maureen chased after me and said in a low voice,

"Harry, Merlin has a good heart. He's willing to settle this with you. But because those cuff links are fairly valuable, you'll have to stay inside for a month before you can be released on bail."

"Use these days to really reflect. I'm doing this for your own good. A record's nothing to be afraid of. Worst case, I'll take care of you in the future."

Watching her choose to believe Merlin without a moment's hesitation, without a single thought for my future.

I let out a soft laugh.

"Maureen, let's break up."

Maureen froze. Before she could get anything out, the car door had already closed in front of her.

Watching the car pull away, something in her went hollow for no reason she could name.

As if she were about to lose something in that moment.

Inside the car, I turned to the young officer beside me.

"Hello. I have solid proof that I'm innocent."

...

An hour later, I was released, cleared of all charges.

I called my academic advisor and asked him, once my withdrawal application went through, to mail the papers to me overseas.

I boarded a flight to a foreign country alone.

This place, I didn't want to stay in it a moment longer.

Three days later, Maureen had no classes that morning and thought she'd go visit me at the station, only to run into my academic advisor in the hallway.

When he heard what she was planning, he frowned.

"You don't need to go. The police already figured it out. Harry was innocent."

"He left to study abroad that same day."