Love and Hate Turned to Nothing, We Each Went Our Own Way

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After my eighteenth miscarriage, the story of me giving birth in that delivery room, bloodied and broken, spread through every corner of town.

That same night, my husband finally reached his limit and threw me out of the house.

The next day, he brought his childhood sweetheart, Constance Henson, home as his bride.

Eight years and not one child to show for it, and when they cast me out all I had was a torn shift soaked in blood.

Buried under the town's endless mocking, I lost every reason to keep living.

So I climbed to the hospital rooftop, ready to end my life.

But in the instant I swung myself over the edge,

my husband's older brother caught me by the arm.

He looked at me, hollowed out and half-dead, and dropped to one knee right there and proposed.

"Genevieve, I've loved you quietly for years. Now I finally have the chance to take care of you. Please, I'm begging you, give me that chance."

It felt like grabbing hold of the last bit of warmth left in my life,

so I said yes to Reginald Delgado's proposal.

Three months after the wedding, I was pregnant again.

Reginald cleared his entire schedule just to look after me himself.

He told me he would make sure I carried this child to term, that I would finally become a mother.

I was full of joy, full of hope.

Then, after one prenatal checkup, I overheard him talking with my attending physician.

"Dr. Fox, just use the drug. She's getting further along. If the baby comes out later, Genevieve will only suffer more."

From inside the room came the doctor's furious voice.

"CEO Delgado, I honestly don't understand! The baby your wife is carrying is perfectly healthy. Why won't you let her keep it? This is the nineteenth time. It's too cruel!"

"There's no other way. The Delgado family's first grandson has to be Constance's child. Clint Delgado and Constance are married now, so it won't be long. The next time Genevieve conceives, I swear I'll let her keep the baby"

That familiar sigh of his seemed to pierce straight through my eardrums.

Reginald Delgado, there won't be a next time

"CEO Delgado."

Dr. Fox paused for a few seconds, then said in a low voice,

"After this one, I'm afraid your wife's body won't be able to take it"

"Shut up!"

Reginald cut him off sharply.

"You people cured Constance when her infertility was that severe. Genevieve has a strong constitution. She'll be fine!"

"CEO Delgado, it really isn't the same situation"

"Miss Henson spent these eight years being cared for and nursed along. Your wife has spent them suffering, one after another! The psychiatric department sent word this morning too. From all these miscarriages, your wife already has severe depression along with anxiety. If she goes through this again, physically and mentally, it will be a fatal blow to her"

"Enough. Don't say any more. As long as I'm by Genevieve's side, I won't let anything happen to her."

"This time, having you act while the baby is still early along is also so Genevieve suffers less."

Reginald stepped forward and clapped Dr. Fox on the shoulder.

"Remember, this time give my wife the best imported drug. A friend told me that when the baby comes out, there's almost no pain at all"

A cheerful click of high heels on the floor cut Reginald off.

The moment I sensed someone coming,

I scrambled up from the floor and pressed myself into the far corner of the wall.

I'd only just gotten hidden

when a wave of perfume flooded into my nose.

The office door opened from the inside,

and that scent went straight into Reginald's arms.

"Reginald, you could have handled that woman's business over the phone. What's taking so long?"

Dr. Fox frowned slightly, gave a polite nod, and turned to leave.

But the moment he turned, Constance called out to stop him.

"Hey, don't go yet."

She turned back to Reginald.

"Reginald, I just heard you say the best imported drug, almost no pain. What exactly is that drug?"

"I suffered through so much these eight years trying to conceive, and there was never any drug like that for me. You give it to that woman and not to me. How can you play favorites like this"

"Miss Henson."

Dr. Fox let out a long sigh.

"In these eight years, when exactly did you ever feel any pain"

"Reginald, look at how he talks to me!"

By now Constance's voice had a sob in it.

"That's enough, Dr. Fox."

Reginald waved off the words Dr. Fox was about to say,

his tone turning grave and hard.

"That imported drug, don't give it to my wife. Just use something standard."

"CEO Delgado, your wife can't tolerate anesthesia. Standard medication will be agonizing for her"

"Enough!"

Reginald cut him off roughly.

"This is the Delgado family's hospital. You do exactly as I say, or watch yourself lose your livelihood!"

Reginald was one of New York's best-known refined businessmen,

and for him to lose his temper like this was rare.

Dr. Fox didn't dare say anything more. He only shook his head helplessly, turned, and left the office.

The moment the office door closed,

Reginald's gentle voice rose inside.

"Little minx, I did everything exactly the way you wanted. Are you satisfied now?"

"Satisfied. Seeing that your eyes and heart are full of nothing but me, I feel so happy."

Reginald reached up and gave the tip of Constance's nose a playful flick.

"But let's be clear, this is the last time"

Before he could finish, Constance's hand slid to his belt, and she sank to her knees on the floor.

A few seconds later, sickening sounds of pleasure came drifting out of the office.

I cupped my faintly swollen belly, forcing down the churning that kept rising in my stomach, and fled the scene in a mess.

In a quiet corner of the hospital,

I took out my phone and called back the number that had contacted me just days ago.

"That volunteer position with the overseas women's self-help organization you mentioned. I'll go."

The person on the other end was overjoyed.

Five minutes later,

I received a message from the airline: a ticket for a flight leaving the country in three days.

The heart that had been shut tight for so many years finally opened, just a sliver

Evening.

Reginald came home reeking of alcohol. As he bent to change his shoes, his shirt pulled loose from his belt, and from where I lay half-reclined on the sofa I saw them at once, the dense scatter of kiss marks all over his waist.

Thinking I was asleep, he crossed into the living room and dropped his voice at Isabella Chavez, who was still busy with her chores.

"Isabella, I hired you to take proper care of my wife. She throws a fit and runs home from the hospital, and you just let her?"

"When she wakes up, you'd better get her back to the hospital nicely, or it won't go well for you."

With that, Reginald stalked off toward the bathroom, still fuming.

The water had barely started running when a coy little voice drifted out from inside.

"Reginald, what are you doing! Wasn't earlier enough for you? Do you have to watch me shower too..."

The clinging, sticky scene from the office a few hours ago flashed back into my mind. I couldn't hold it down. One hand pressed to the small swell of my belly, I gagged, a sharp sound tearing out of me.

Inside the bathroom, the laughter and the running water cut off all at once.

Reginald came rushing out with a towel thrown over him, crossed the room, and pulled me into his arms, his face and voice all tenderness.

"Genevieve, does something hurt? How did you start gagging in your sleep? This is my fault, I didn't take good enough care of you..."

Every word earnest, every line aching with concern.

If I hadn't stood outside that office and heard those words with my own ears, I'd have gone to my grave never dreaming this man was a beast wearing a human face.

"Mrs. Delgado..."

Isabella edged forward, trembling, twisting the hem of her clothes, and forced the words out awkwardly.

"In a case like this, you really must go to the hospital, or both you and the baby could be in danger. I've cared for pregnant women for more than ten years now. You have to trust me..."

"Shut up!"

Reginald cut her off through clenched teeth.

"Does my wife need you deciding where she goes?"

His large hand kept moving over my back, his voice husky and gentle.

"Genevieve, the hospital's no good place to be. If you don't want to go, then we won't..."

Isabella looked like she wanted to step in and say something more, but didn't dare.

Watching her face go paler still, I cut Reginald off.

"I'll go back to the hospital."

The moment I said it, Isabella let out a breath of relief.

I looked straight into Reginald's eyes, and beneath that thin outer layer of tenderness, deep down I caught it, a well-hidden flicker of ease and smug satisfaction.

Reginald didn't dare waste a single second, moving as if half a beat too slow and I might change my mind.

In under twenty minutes I was back inside the hospital that had cost me eighteen children.

The smell of disinfectant stung my eyes till they ached.

I had just lain down on the bed when Dr. Fox pushed the door open.

"Mrs. Delgado"

Dr. Fox opened his palm, and there, resting quietly, was a single white pill.

"Mr. Delgado said you were dry-heaving again just now. Take this. Once you do, you won't feel sick anymore."

The room went dead silent.

Every pair of eyes settled on me.

I felt like a prisoner dragged up onto the scaffold.

I knew it was a losing game.

And yet, in that moment, I wanted to try one more time.

"Reginald"

I turned to look at him.

"This pill. I don't have to take it, do I?"

Something complicated flickered in his eyes, as if he were fighting some painful struggle inside.

A few seconds passed.

Then he seemed to reach a decision at last.

"All right. You don't have to take it"

And with that, he reached out toward the pill in Dr. Fox's hand.

But before his fingers could touch it,

a soft, boneless hand caught his wrist.

"Reginald, your wife is being difficult, and now you're going to be difficult too?"

"Are you really sure she shouldn't take it?"

The moment Constance walked in, Reginald's body went rigid.

After a long pause,

he looked at me and let out a long, drawn-out sigh.

He took the pill in his own hand and pressed it to my lips.

"Genevieve, I lost my head just now. This medicine is for your own good. Listen to Connie and take it."

By the time I came back to myself,

the pill was already in my mouth,

Reginald had put it there,

and the cold water had barely gone down my throat when a violent pain gripped my lower belly.

It was as if a thousand hands were tearing at my insides, my flesh, churning through me at will.

Wave after wave of stabbing pain came,

and crimson blood poured out from between my legs in surge after surge, like a stream.

In the blink of an eye, it soaked the white sheets red.

"Dr. Fox, what is going on!"

Reginald grabbed the doctor by the collar, eyes blazing.

"Didn't you say this would stop her morning sickness? How could this happen after she took it?!"

Dr. Fox showed nothing on his face.

He let Reginald vent while hurrying to reach the operating room.

Through Reginald's stream of demands,

a boundless bitterness rose in me.

Reginald, what a fine actor you are.

If I hadn't heard those words from your own mouth,

I would surely have fallen for your tenderness all over again.

I would have believed that losing this nineteenth child was my fault, mine alone.

I would have torn myself apart with guilt, guilt enough to want to end my own life

In under a minute,

a crowd of doctors and nurses rushed in together.

Constance let out a startled cry.

"How did they get here so fast?"

As she spoke, I felt Reginald grip my hand tightly.

A cold laugh rose in my heart.

They were worried the doctors had come too fast, worried the baby might have been saved

Dr. Fox said nothing, but his hands moved with sudden force, pushing me out of the room.

Half an hour later, I lay on that all-too-familiar operating table,

and heard Dr. Fox's nineteenth sigh.

I knew my nineteenth child was gone again

He was so small, and he was thrown into the trash like garbage.

Overwhelming pain swept through me,

but it wasn't half the pain in my heart.

In the end, it was my own helplessness. I couldn't protect him.

I let his own father, for the sake of a woman outside, hurt him so recklessly.

But they seemed to have forgotten something.

Even a cornered rabbit will bite.

For every evil thing they had done, I would never let them go.

I was wheeled out of the operating room, dragging my broken body,

and the moment I came out, the sight in front of me stopped me cold

The whole vast hospital corridor, dozens of LED screens,

all of them at that moment playing the scene of my humiliating miscarriage from just now in the operating room,

and not only this one,

but every single one from the past eight years

My hope, my despair, my wailing, my kneeling, the blood everywhere in that operating room.

My body soaked in red, half-naked,

right there, playing like a movie for people to point at, to watch, to laugh at

Before I could even come back to myself,

a richly dressed woman rushed to the side of my gurney,

swung her arm back, and slapped me across the face.

"You slut!"

"It's because of you, you cursed jinx, that the Delgado family has lost another child. Why don't you just drop dead!"

One slap had barely landed

before her other hand was already raised high again

You shameless, disgusting little bitch!

Leona's eyes were already swallowed by fury,

and just as that hand, loaded with all her rage, came down again,

a large hand clamped hard around her wrist.

Mom, what are you doing!

Reginald rushed forward and put himself between me and Leona.

His hand stroked the top of my head over and over, gentle, and his eyes held a pain that wouldn't fade.

Genevieve, this time it wasn't your fault. Don't worry, I won't blame you.

I promise you, next time, I will absolutely let you carry the baby to term.

A few months ago,

when Reginald pulled me down off the hospital rooftop and dropped to one knee to propose,

he'd said the exact same words.

Back then those words had made me feel so warm,

but now they only sickened me.

The LED screens along the corridor were flooded with my agonized wailing.

Eight years. Nineteen times losing a child. The pain of it broke me all over again.

I jerked away from Reginald's touch,

screaming, clutching my head, and slid off the operating bed.

That sudden fall wrenched open the wound they'd just stitched shut,

and the raw pain of flesh being torn apart swept through me.

Cradling my ruined belly, I shrank and crawled to the corner, a smear of bright red blood trailing behind me.

I slammed my head against the wall, again and again,

trying to dull the pain in my body, trying to forget the pain of all nineteen times.

Turn them off!

Reginald's furious shout came from a few steps away.

He pointed at the wall of LED screens and roared himself hoarse,

Who put these on?! Tired of living?!

No one answered. Everyone's eyes just turned toward Constance.

Taking in the scene before him,

Reginald understood at once.

Slowly he turned his gaze on Constance beside him,

and after a long moment, all he gave was a sigh,

letting those videos of me at my most wretched play in front of me, over and over

Dr. Fox, move my wife up to the top-floor VIP suite. It's quiet there.

All of Reginald's patience just now had finally bought Constance's silence.

I was wheeled toward the VIP room,

and at last the noise fell away from my ears.

Reginald bent down, pressed a kiss to my forehead, then turned and left.

Soon Reginald's familiar voice drifted in from outside the room,

This surgery, there won't be any complications, will there?

My wife's uterus is all right? She'll still be able to conceive?

Yes.

Dr. Fox answered coldly,

but before he turned to go, he chose to add a warning,

But your wife absolutely cannot be put through any more shocks. That Miss Henson, I'd hope you'll have a word with her.

With that, Dr. Fox turned and walked away,

and Reginald stood frozen where he was, letting out a quiet breath of relief.

They hadn't been together long,

but standing outside the operating room, hearing my wails from inside,

he'd suddenly realized

he had truly come to think of me as his wife.

Looking at me, covered in blood and shaking, tore at him.

As long as she can still have children, that's enough,

he thought. Next time, I won't let anything happen to the baby.

Seeing that I seemed to be sleeping peacefully in the room, Reginald got up to leave.

He'd barely reached the ground floor when Constance slipped into his arms like a little bird.

Reginald, it's all taken care of. Let's celebrate.

Constance looped her arms around his neck, lowered her voice, and flushed.

Come back to my place. That lace set you bought me last time, I'll put it on for you

Any other time, Reginald would have gone with her without a second thought.

But now he shoved Constance away, almost on reflex, his tone flat and cold.

Something came up at the office. I need to get back.

And with that he left the hospital without looking back.

Through those few hours at the office, his head was full of me.

Finally he couldn't stand it any longer and called his assistant in.

Go to that place on the North Side and get a bowl of soup dumplings. I'm going to the hospital to see my wife.

The assistant was surprised, but went off cheerfully all the same.

Reginald also ordered a bouquet from the florist he usually used, meaning to bring it along too.

Once everything was arranged, he leaned back into the couch and lit a cigarette.

Through the curling smoke,

a picture rose in his mind of me and the baby, the three of us together as a family.

But before the picture could last long,

the office door was thrown open from outside with a bang,

and his assistant, face ashen, dropped to his knees in front of him with a thud, stammering, voice shaking,

Mr. Delgado, your wife, your wife, something's happened!

Miss Henson went into your wife's room, said a few words, and then your wife started hemorrhaging. She's gone now