From Now On My Tears Fall and I Rise

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Pinned beneath Carter Fox again, my body went rigid, my mind blank.

Then his phone, right there on the pillow, let out a snort of laughter.

Mila Swanson really is two different people, isn't she? Sweet outside, dead stiff in bed. How can anyone be that lifeless?

Mila, this isn't going to work. No man wants a dead fish.

"Carter, open the door! I'm already outside. Let me give Mila a proper demonstration today."

Savannah Harding's voice dropped me straight into ice.

I dodged his arm and snatched the phone out of his hand.

Unlocked, it showed the buddy group in a live video call.

The chat window was flooded with lines of them pitying Carter.

A click.

Savannah couldn't wait. She punched in the code herself and walked right into the bedroom.

One hook of her finger and the trench coat slid off her shoulders to the floor, leaving her in nothing but a slip dress.

Their eyes met across the room.

Savannah rose up on her toes and pressed her red lips straight onto his.

Carter turned his head, threw me one cold look, and said in a low voice,

"Watch and learn. If you still can't figure it out after this, there's really nothing I can do with you."

I froze on the bed, my mind wiped clean.

The next second, the two of them kissed right in front of me.

Her nails left a spread of scratches down his back.

When it ended, Savannah turned her head and shot me a coy glance.

"Sweetie, did you get a good look? That's the reaction a man actually wants."

Then she pushed the man in front of her away with a pout.

"I told you already. You're Mila's first man, so cut her some slack. You've barely been together any time at all and you're already complaining our Mila has no sex appeal."

"Let me tell you, Mila's innocent, but I'm not the type you can walk over. One more time and watch me break your legs."

She lowered her eyes, her gaze sliding suggestively down over him.

"I don't need to tell you which leg, do I?"

"Today's lesson is on the house. Just buy me a big seafood dinner. Same place as last time."

"Fine, fine, fine. If Miss Harding wants to shake me down, just say so. I can spare one meal."

Every drop of blood in me went cold.

I scrambled up off the bed, shaking with rage.

"What are the two of you doing? I'm not dead yet!"

The tenderness that had been in Carter's face a moment ago iced over.

"This was all for you. I'm a man. I don't understand woman things. You'd never agree to me finding someone out there to teach you, would you? I thought it over, and Savannah was the only one who could help."

My eyes went red, and I laughed.

"So you cheat on me with my best friend, right in front of my face, out in the open?"

"And that video call on your phone. Don't you owe me an explanation for that?"

"I'm a person, not an animal. Why should something this private be live-streamed? What do you take me for?"

Savannah wasn't fazed. She came right up to me and reached to link her arm through mine.

I twisted away. She didn't get angry, just kept smiling.

"Come on, Mila, don't be so petty. I've got so many boyfriends, how could I ever go for someone like Carter? I wouldn't pick him with my eyes closed. You're overthinking it."

"Besides, I'm your best friend. He's been trashing you in the group every single day for not knowing how to have fun. Was I supposed to just swallow that?"

That buddy group chat was all Carter's friends from way back.

Five years together, and I never once got the chance to join it.

Every time I brought it up, saying I wanted to be part of his life, to understand his past.

He always brushed me off. Work was busy. His friends didn't know any better. He was worried they'd say the wrong thing.

I gave ground again and again. I even introduced my one and only best friend to him myself.

And after all that giving, I was the one who'd ended up on the outside of them.

The humiliation rose up in my chest, and I raised my hand and slapped her.

"I'm talking to my boyfriend. Nobody asked you!"

"And this is my home. Get out. Now."

A sharp crack.

Five finger marks bloomed on Savannah's pale face.

Carter lost it. He rushed over, shoved me aside, and pulled her behind him.

"Enough! Mila, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"All I did was start a video call so they could help me figure something out. The camera wasn't even on you. Nobody saw your face. Do you really have to make such a big deal out of this?"

He swung his hand up.

Savannah grabbed his wrist and soothed him softly.

"Okay, okay, it's not worth getting worked up over something so small."

"It's my fault, I didn't think it through. I shouldn't have had you turn the video on. Mila's always been the conservative type. I'll try a different way to teach her next time."

Tears slid down my cheeks and dropped silently into the carpet.

My smile was uglier than crying.

"You think there'll be a next time?"

"Carter, let's break up."

"You like to play, you like a thrill, so go play with her all you want. I can't give you the feeling you're after, but I can give you your freedom."

My attitude set him off. His eyes went red in an instant, and he roared at me.

"Are you insane? Hitting menopause early? Everything we did was for your own good!"

"I didn't take naked photos of you, I didn't film you, and the person teaching you was your own best friend. I honestly don't get what you have to throw a fit about."

"You've been best friends with Savannah all these years. You really should learn something from her. She never lets stuff like this bother her."

Savannah didn't let it bother her because she'd had more boyfriends than she could count on both hands.

She was the circle's notorious flirt.

Word was there wasn't a man she couldn't land.

When I first met Carter, I'd even gone to her for advice about the relationship.

Later, we fell hard for each other.

All my other friends warned me not to introduce Savannah to my boyfriend.

But I didn't listen.

I'd always believed ten years of friendship wouldn't shatter so easily over one man.

But today, reality had slapped me across the face.

Seeing me go quiet, Carter said nothing more.

He carefully cupped Savannah's face in both hands and blew on it gently.

"Does it hurt? I'll take you to get some ointment, then we'll go for a big seafood dinner."

Savannah melted into his arms, boneless.

The two of them left wrapped around each other. Neither one spared me a glance.

Maybe she sensed something was wrong with me.

Somehow the Samoyed shut in the second bedroom unlatched the door himself and came running out.

He circled me, licking and whining.

I looked down at Marshmallow.

He was the birthday present Carter had given me back when we first got together, because he knew I loved animals.

Back then he'd pulled me into his arms, laughing, and said,

"Since we can't get married and have kids yet, Marshmallow will be our child from now on. We'll watch him grow up together."

"And when we do have a real baby someday, Marshmallow will be all grown too, and he'll be your guardian, yours and the baby's. When I'm not home, he'll protect you both."

As true as that love had been, that was how deep the betrayal cut now.

A dull stab of pain ran through my lower belly. I didn't pay it any mind.

My tears dropped onto Marshmallow's fluffy head.

He lay down and let out a low, soft whimper.

I stroked his head, my voice barely there.

"Marshmallow, you don't have a daddy anymore."

That night I took the dog downstairs for his walk, my mind somewhere else.

I opened my phone, and a new post from Carter popped up in my feed.

The photo showed the guest-room directional sign at that seafood restaurant.

Two figures were faintly reflected in the glass window.

The caption:

"Kicked out of the house, ha. Good thing I've still got a fellow soldier who knows my pain. Long live brotherhood!"

The comment section was already flooded with his buddies:

"No way? She threw you out just like that? Over what? She's the one who couldn't cut it, and now nobody's even allowed to say so?"

"Mila's so petty. I honestly feel bad for you, man. Can't imagine what your days are usually like."

"But real talk, that kiss of yours almost got a reaction out of me. You two are made for each other! You sure you don't want to trade up on the girlfriend, Carter?"

"Seconded!"

I was about to lock my phone.

The next second, Savannah's comment popped up.

"Don't say things like that. Carter and I are pure friends. He's not even good enough to be my dog."

I took a deep breath and closed the feed.

I looked at Marshmallow trotting in little quick steps in the distance and waved.

"Marshmallow, time's up. We should head home."

My screen lit up.

Savannah had sent me a private message.

The image was a screenshot of that post's comments.

"Mila, please don't read too much into this! I already chewed them out for you. They just don't understand what you two have. Heaven as my witness, I have zero interest in Carter that way!"

I didn't reply. I deleted the message.

Early the next morning, I took a cab to a real estate agency and listed the apartment for sale.

The agent looked at the price I gave him, sat frozen for a long moment, then lifted his head and pushed up his glasses.

"Ms. Swanson, are you sure... you want to sell at this price?"

"The market's slow right now, sure, but you wouldn't take a loss this big. You"

"That price. Sell it fast. As long as someone buys within three days, the price is still negotiable."

I cut him off.

Then I stood up and headed for the door.

My phone had been buzzing in my pocket for a while.

When I opened it, the HOA group chat had blown up.

"Whose dog is this? Screaming like it's dying? Do you people know it's the weekend? Some of us are trying to rest!"

"Right? Finally a week's over and I want to sleep in, and this dog's howling like it's summoning ghosts. If you can't raise it, get rid of it. Stop ruining it for everyone else!"

"Sounds really close to me. 1202, right? I'm pretty sure they're the only ones with a big dog."

The second that dropped, more than a dozen residents were tagging me.

I quickly typed back:

"Yes, we do have a dog, but he's very well-behaved and doesn't usually bark for no reason. There must be some misunderstanding. I'll head back and check right away."

I put my phone away and flagged down a cab home.

I'd barely reached my door when I heard a furious shout from inside:

"Shut up! What are you barking at?"

"Don't recognize your daddy anymore, huh? You dare bite me? I'll teach you a lesson today!"

It was Carter's voice.

I pressed my thumb to the sensor.

The door opened.

Marshmallow was pinned to the floor by a group of big, burly men, beaten half to death, his eyes full of tears.

"Stop it! What do you think you're doing?"

I was about to lunge forward.

One of Carter's buddies grabbed me and held me back.

The moment he saw me come home, Carter turned every bit of his rage on me:

"You've still got the nerve to yell? Your stupid dog almost bit Savannah just now!"

"Savannah knew you were upset yesterday, so she brought everyone from the group over to apologize to you in person. And what do we get? You're not even here, and you didn't bother to leash your dog either!"

"If there weren't so many of us, Savannah might not even be alive right now!"

Savannah leaned against him, shaking all over with fear, and yet she was the one making excuses for me:

"Carter, don't blame Mila. It's my fault. Maybe the perfume I put on today was too strong, and Marshmallow just didn't recognize me for a second."

My eyes went red in an instant.

"Marshmallow never bites anyone. You must have hurt him first!"

"Let go of my Marshmallow!"

One of Carter's buddies actually laughed in my face.

"Mila, is there something wrong with your head? You can't even tell which matters more, a dog or a person's life?"

"We were all standing right here. We saw it with our own eyes. Mila tripped by accident, Carter reached out to steady her, and your dog went crazy and lunged at her. A grown man like Carter couldn't even hold it back!"

I dragged my lips into a cold smile.

"A dog has more loyalty than a person. He knows who the scum is. What makes a piece of scum fit to be compared to my dog?"

Carter blew up right away.

"Who are you calling scum? I explained it to you yesterday. That was for your own good!"

"Savannah is your best friend. Whoever you doubt, it shouldn't be her!"

"She knew how much you were hurting. She stayed up half the night, begging and pleading with everyone, just to get these people here today to apologize to you. You won't even appreciate that, and now you're being snide about it?"

I looked at Savannah, crumpled in his arms and crying prettily, and my voice turned to mockery.

"Is that so? Staying up half the night, or maybe busy with other things with my ex-boyfriend? He's your type, after all. If she couldn't teach me, sleeping with the teacher directly is a lot less trouble, isn't it?"

"The two of you slept in the same room, and today you barge into my home with the nerve to say you're apologizing, and you bully my dog on top of it. So who's really out of line here?"

Carter's chest heaved violently. He shot upright.

"I think you've kept that dog so long the animal's rotted your brain!"

The next second, Savannah's hand went up in front of him.

"Carter, that's enough. Let me go talk to Mila."

She walked up to me and signaled the men beside me with her eyes to let me go.

"Mila, I apologize. I never should have suggested something like that without thinking about how you'd feel. Don't blame Carter. Blame me if you have to. I promise I'll never interfere in your relationship again."

"I really do care about you as a friend. Please forgive me."

When she finished, she bent at the waist and gave me a deep bow.

Tears spilled out before I could stop them. I turned my face away.

"Don't bother. I can't accept it."

"I've already broken up with him. Who he sleeps in the same bed with is his own business."

Savannah reached out to me carefully and tugged at my sleeve.

I threw her hand off hard.

Right then, Marshmallow tore free from the men holding him down and threw himself at Savannah like something gone mad.

Savannah went down under him, her face drained white with terror, screaming.

"Help! Carter, save me!"

"Woof, woof, woof"

Marshmallow's jaws were an instant from closing when I shouted.

"Marshmallow, no biting! Come here!"

Marshmallow froze, but he was still panting hard.

It all happened so fast that no one around had reacted yet.

Carter had had enough. He rushed forward and kicked Marshmallow in the side.

Marshmallow rolled several feet, his head struck the door frame, and every bit of strength went out of him.

Carter helped Savannah up carefully, his eyes full of tenderness.

"Are you all right? You're not hurt? You must be terrified."

"Don't be scared. I'm here. No one can hurt you."

He turned and glared at me.

"Mila, this is the animal you raised!"

"Apologize to Savannah, now!"

But I couldn't hear any of it anymore.

All I could see was that glaring pool of red at the edge of Marshmallow's mouth.

I scrambled over on my hands and knees and knelt down beside him.

I called his name frantically, shaking his soft, furry body.

No matter how hard I tried, Marshmallow gave no response at all.

Tears poured down. I turned my head and screamed at Carter.

"You gave Marshmallow to me! You said he was your child! How could you do this to him!"

Carter's brows knotted tight, as if he'd heard the biggest joke in the world, his whole face full of contempt.

"An animal. How could I ever treat it like family?"

"The place was a mess every single day because of it. I've had enough for a long time!"

"Good thing it's dead. Guys, help me throw this animal out. Just looking at it makes my blood boil!"

When he finished, several men came toward me.

I threw myself over Marshmallow with everything I had.

"No! Don't take Marshmallow, I'm begging you!"

Carter gave the order coldly.

"Drag her off!"

"From today on, no animals in this house. That's the end of it!"

Two hands seized my shoulders, one on each side, and hauled me back hard.

My legs beat wildly against the floor as I fought.

But I was simply too weak, and none of it did any good.

I could only watch them drag Marshmallow out the door and then into the elevator.

My eyes had gone bloodshot with rage, my throat raw from screaming.

Carter never once looked at me through any of it.

He was too busy worrying over Savannah.

The elevator doors slid slowly shut.

The two men beside me let up their grip.

I seized the chance to break free and ran out the door in long strides.

The elevator kept carrying Marshmallow down, so I turned and ran for the stairs.

Carter came after me at once, shouting behind me.

"Mila, get back here! Are you insane? It was just an animal!"

But from the moment he betrayed me, Marshmallow had been my only family.

I jumped five steps at a time, ran down five floors.

My strength was draining away.

Rounding a landing, my foot slipped, and my whole body went tumbling down the stairs.

Carter was right behind me. His hand grabbed at empty air.

After several uncontrolled tumbles, a sharp pain shot through my forehead.

My abdomen felt like a dull blade was sawing into it.

I looked down. A pool of blood was spreading out from under me, red and glaring.

Carter scrambled over on his hands and knees.

"Mila"

Everything went black, and I lost consciousness completely.