I Thought the Pain Would Fade

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I have low sperm count and a congenital heart condition.

The doctor advised against having children.

My wife suggested freezing her eggs.

No rush. Once your condition is cured, we'll have a baby.

For five years after we married, every time I suggested we try.

Theresa would refuse, her eyes rimmed with red.

"Whether or not we have children doesn't matter. Having you is enough for me."

Every time I felt her intense love, the more I wanted a child of our own.

It wasn't until seven years later that my longing for a child reached its peak.

That very night, my phone showed a car downstairs shaking abnormally.

I went down to check and caught Theresa and the young man she sponsored laughing and talking happily inside the car.

A sharp pain seized my heart, forcing me to pull back the hand that was about to open the car door.

Curled up in pain beside the car door, I listened to their conversation.

"Give me a child, baby."

"What if your husband finds out?"

"If I get pregnant, he'll be too thrilled to think straight."

Lucas gave a soft laugh. "I'd be making him a father painlessly. When he finds out, will he..."

Theresa cut in mockingly, "You're afraid of him? A useless piece of trash with a heart condition and low sperm count. He can barely keep himself alivehow could he ever deal with you?"

"Besides, he loves me to death. If I say the child is his, he wouldn't dare not believe me."

With trembling hands, I dialed a number.

"Hello. The IVF plan we started a few days agoyou can stop it now."

A serious voice answered on the other end.

"Mr. Sanchez, the embryo culture has already begun to take shape. Are you sure you want to stop?"

"This matter... don't you need to discuss it with your wife first?"

I closed my eyes for a moment. "No need to discuss it. Confirmeddestroy it."

Since Theresa was already planning to have a child with another man.

What difference did it make whether I discussed it with her or not?

After the call ended, I braced myself against the car and forced myself upright.

But the conversation inside had not stopped.

Lucas rolled over and pinned Theresa beneath him.

"But what if, after the child is born, he gets a whim one day and goes for a paternity test?"

Theresa's voice, mixed with her panting, carried an indulgent little laugh.

"With his heart the way it is, I have to go with him just to leave the house."

"Him running off to a hospital alone for a test? Impossible."

"Besides"

Theresa gave a low chuckle.

"He wants a child so badly. But what can he do when his low sperm count means he can't have one? He can only accept his fate."

My face was reflected in the car window.

Pale, lips gone purple, the corners of my eyes red.

Seven years ago, it was this same face.

That had wrenched Theresa's heart so badly.

Time after time, when my heart condition flared up.

Her eyes red, she had knelt before my hospital bed, holding my hand and saying.

"Adrian, I'm willing to freeze my eggs. Once you're better, we'll have a child."

Then for five years.

Every time I brought up wanting a child, she would tear up and pull me into her arms.

"No, your body hasn't recovered yet."

"I still have to take care of you. I can't let a child take my energy away from you."

"Adrian, all I need is you. I don't care about a child."

Every time she said those words with tears in her eyes, I felt like the happiest man in the world.

But now, Lucas stroked Theresa's face and asked softly.

"Don't you love Adrian so much, though?"

"You won't even have one child for him? Afraid of the suffering?"

Theresa lit a cigarette and gave a mocking smile.

"The suffering is beside the point."

"The main thing is his genes are no good. I don't want to have another child with a congenital heart condition!"

"I can't afford that gamble."

So that was the real reason she never wanted me to have a child.

That night, I sat on the sofa in a daze the whole night through.

Theresa sent a message: Adrian, don't wait up for me tonight. I'm arranging a place for Lucas. Get to sleep early.

What do you want for breakfast tomorrow? I'll bring you something.

I pressed the phone dark and didn't reply.

Early the next morning, Theresa came back.

She'd bought breakfastchicken congee, my favorite.

"How did you sleep last night? Getting Lucas settled took a while, so I couldn't come back to keep you company. Don't be angry."

She opened the congee container, set the spoon in it, and held it out to me.

I didn't take it. I lifted my eyes and stared at her.

"Settled where?"

"I rented an apartment near the company, so it's convenient for his regular checkups."

Her tone was calm, as if she were chatting with me about the weather.

"Your body is too weak, you're not fit to have children. I wanted Lucas to help out. He provides the service, I give him the sponsorship. It's fair."

Theresa noticed I didn't look well and reached out to touch my forehead.

"Why do you look so awful? Is your heart bothering you again?"

I turned my head away from her hand.

Theresa froze for a moment, then broke into a smile.

"Are you angry? Because I brought a man home without discussing it with you first?"

Three days ago, I had brought up IVF with Theresa.

She'd said, "Don't worry, leave everything to me."

Then she came home with a young man named Lucas Landon.

She said we could have a child using a sperm donor.

Money for goods, a clean transaction, no strings on either side.

I stayed silent for a long time before I asked her.

"Theresa, if even having a child has to be handed off to someone else, then am I even the child's father?"

But Theresa didn't take it seriously.

"Adrian, you have a low sperm count and a heart condition. The doctors said you're not fit to have children. I'm only thinking of you."

Just like now, seeing how awful I looked.

Theresa sighed and coaxed me the same way she always did.

"Adrian, the child I carry will be yours anyway, so of course you're the only father."

"I've pulled you back from death's door more than once. You're too weak. I really can't bear the risk of losing you."

"So this time, listen to me, all right?"

She said it with such feeling.

Her eyes even went a little red.

If I hadn't heard it with my own ears last night, I probably would have hugged her and apologized all over again.

I lowered my head and drank my congee.

"So he agreed?"

Theresa nodded. "His family doesn't have money. I gave him a sum, and he jumped at it."

"Good."

Theresa visibly relaxed and hugged me from behind.

"I knew you were the most reasonable one. Adrian, once the baby is born, the three of us will have a good life together."

I closed my eyes, sneering inside.

Whose family of three was this, really?

For two weeks straight, Theresa left early and came home late, suddenly so very busy.

When she came back, she reeked of men's cologne.

Every time she saw me frown, she would explain in a gentle voice.

"It was Lucas. He went with me for a blood test today, and he suddenly got faint at the sight of blood. He must have brushed up against me by accident."

I didn't expose her lie.

Of course, Theresa had no idea that at this very moment, in the drawer of the coffee table, sat a stack of photos a private investigator had just handed me.

They documented her leaving early and coming home late all month, going to Lucas's apartment.

Her car parked at the foot of his building, and Lucas rushing over to take her into his arms.

In the bedroom, on the balcony, in the bathtub...

Embracing, kissing.

I even had a recording saved on my phone.

Lucas asked nervously, "Theresa, we're not using protection again?"

"What's there to be afraid of? Isn't a child exactly what we want?"

Every day I watched these things, listened to them, like I was torturing myself.

Until the evening, when Theresa came home after claiming she'd been working late.

She looked radiant, as if something had left her glowing.

I pretended not to see the hickey on her neck.

"Theresa."

"You see Lucas every day. He's younger and better-looking than me. Could you fall for him?"

Her hand paused as she set down her bag.

Then she laughed out loud.

"Adrian, what are you dreaming up all day?"

"Aren't all these meetings with him for the sake of our child?"

"My exams, blood tests, my ovulation shotssomeone has to be with me for every one of them. You're in poor health. If not him, then who?"

She reached out and cupped my face, her thumb brushing under my eye.

"Adrian Sanchez, in this whole life, I'll only ever fall for you."

"What is Lucas? Just a tool."

"Once the baby's born, he takes the money and leaves. He and I have nothing to do with each other."

I stared at her neck.

The hickey on the side of her neck was a glaring red.

"Then what's this?"

Theresa instinctively reached up to cover it, then made herself lower her hand as if it were nothing.

"Last night I fell asleep against the seat in the car, waiting for Lucas's blood test results. It's probably a mosquito bite."

She flicked my nose. "Is it because I haven't been around that you're overthinking things again?"

"I promised youonce this busy stretch is over, I'll spend real time with you."

That night, I came out in a bath towel and undid it right in front of Theresa.

In the past, whenever she saw this, her eyes would light up and she'd throw herself at me, breathing fast.

"You know I can't resist you fresh out of the bath, and you still play me like this on purpose."

But now, she only glanced at it.

Then, frowning, she wrapped the towel back around me.

"Honey, I've been really tired these past few days. I'm just not in the mood. Another time, okay?"

I stared into her eyes. "You haven't touched me in a month."

Theresa's eyes shifted away.

"Work is wringing me dry. I've got no energy left."

Someone else was doing the wringing, more likely.

"Fine. I understand."

I turned and walked away. The truth was, tonight I was only testing her.

A woman who's already filthyI wouldn't touch her again.

Theresa shut the study door and, inside, made a video call to Lucas, cooing over him.

And I dialed my lawyer directly. "Draft me a divorce agreement."

A month later, the private investigator photographed Theresa going to the hospital wearing a mask.

When he sent me the video, he looked like he wanted to say something but held back.

"Mr. Sanchez, it seems your wife really is pregnant."

"She threw a pregnancy test with two lines in the trash, and I went to confirm it."

"And the prenatal report does show she's two months along."

I froze where I stood.

At that same moment, my phone buzzed.

Theresa's messages popped up one after another.

Adrian, I have good news for you.

Our IVF worked.

I thought back to years ago, when Theresa had sworn up and down.

"Adrian Sanchez is my husband, and the only love of my life."

"Back then I had nothing. He gave up his government job and took out a fifteen million dollar loan to help me build everything from scratch. That's how I got to where I am today."

"I will never let him down as long as I live."

But after only seven years, she had forgotten the promise she'd made with her own mouth.

She even lied to my face without a shred of guilt.

Seeing that I still hadn't replied, another message from Theresa popped up.

Adrian, why aren't you answering me? Are you so happy you've gone dumb?

Seeing how hard she was pushing, I typed a few words. We'll talk when you get home.

I sat on the couch until evening.

Theresa came back. "Here, slow down."

Lucas Landon followed behind her, carefully holding her up until she sat down.

"What is this supposed to mean?"

I looked at Theresa.

She sighed and explained with a frown.

"I'm pregnant, aren't I? Your health isn't good, and the housekeeper can't handle everything."

"Lucas already took the money anyway, so let him move in and take care of me for a while."

I was about to speak, but Theresa didn't give me any chance to refuse.

She just helped Lucas straight to the room.

Ever since Lucas moved in, his true colors started showing.

When Theresa was around, he always looked cautious and nervous.

When Theresa wasn't home, he came right up to provoke me, brazen as could be.

"Adrian, do you really think you've been such a successful husband?"

"IVF embryo, my ass. The kid in your wife's belly is mine, plain and simple."

"Adrian, you'll never be a father in this life."

"Someone half-dead like you should let go early, so you don't drag Theresa and me down."

"My advice, if you know what's good for you, is to hurry up, get divorced, and get lost."

I looked at him with no expression and spat out a grape skin.

"Lucas, quite the ambition you've got."

Theresa said he took the money and left, that he was just a poor student she'd sponsored.

"So it turns out you were never satisfied with just a payout. You've been scheming to become master of the house."

Lucas dropped the act too.

"I can tell the difference between one payout and money I could never spend in a lifetime."

"You've seen it yourself, how much Theresa cares about my child in her belly. So in the end, you're the one who'll be getting lost."

If this were my old temper, I'd have grabbed Lucas right then and thrown a few punches.

But now I felt nothing.

After all, Theresa was already dirtied. I didn't want her anymore.

Why bother dirtying my own hands.

"Lucas, do you have the guts to say any of this in front of Theresa?"

I stood up. "You don't. So as long as I'm still alive, you'll never be Theresa's husband."

Lucas could only glare at me, then turned and stormed off, slamming the door behind him.

Theresa still never held back from performing her deep affection for me in front of Lucas.

That day, I had just finished showering and was drying my hair.

Theresa took the hair dryer and naturally started drying it for me.

"Adrian, the doctor contacted me today. He said the baby I'm carrying is completely normal. You're finally going to be a father."

"Are you happy?"

She turned her head to look at me, then suddenly leaned in.

"Why do you seem so distracted today? Is your heart acting up again? I'll get your medicine."

She set down the hair dryer, got up and went to the living room, and came back with water and the medicine.

I took the medicine and put it in my mouth.

She watched me swallow before she felt at ease.

"Adrian, you have to get your health back. We still have most of our lives left to live together."

"Once we have the baby, we'll have to learn all about childcare so we can raise the child healthy."

Looking into Theresa's sincere, worried eyes, I quietly cut her off.

"If I died one day, would you remarry?"

Theresa froze on the spot, then frowned.

"Don't say such unlucky things."

"You won't die. I won't allow it."

"And with me by your side taking care of you, you'll definitely live to be a hundred."

I just smiled, indifferent.

For now, it was true, I wouldn't be dying anytime soon.

But I would be leaving.

Ever since Lucas Landon moved into the villa like he had every right to.

He and Theresa grew more and more intimate.

The only thing they didn't do was sleep in the same bed.

They ate together, went shopping together, bought maternity and baby products, and even picked out the crib with their own hands.

Theresa started having morning sickness.

The moment she felt unwell, Lucas would rush right over to take care of her.

Her belly had barely started to swell when Lucas lifted her shirt and called out to it, "Baby, I'm your daddy."

And Theresa made no attempt to hide any of this from me.

They probably thought I was too stupid.

They figured that the more brazen they were, the less I'd suspect anything was going on between them.

That day, I heard certain unspeakable sounds coming from the study.

I furiously pushed the door open, only to see Lucas holding a picture book, reading a story to Theresa's belly.

"Adrian?"

Theresa looked at me in surprise, then smiled and explained.

"I'm doing some prenatal bonding for our baby."

My hands were shaking. There were surveillance cameras installed in the study.

And I had just seen it on the back-end terminalthey had clearly been up to something shameful, with only a door between them.

And they used prenatal bonding as their cover.

Back in my room, I called my lawyer.

"Is the agreement drafted?"

"Mr. Sanchez, the first draft has been sent to your email. The property division follows the notarized agreement, with an added clause for emotional-distress damages."

"Add one more thing."

"Go ahead."

"Concealing a pregnancy during the marriage, falsifying medical documentsI've already compiled all the evidence."

"I'll list the charges for you. Tell me if it's enough to open a criminal case."

The lawyer paused for two seconds. "Mr. Sanchez, this is enough."

"But if you go criminal, there'll be no room left between you and her to work anything out."

"I don't want any room to work things out."

Over the next few days, no matter how far Theresa took things, I kept turning a blind eye.

Lucas looked at me with more and more smugness.

That day, he deliberately slipped a miscarriage-inducing pill into Theresa's food.

Then pretended I was the one who did it.

Theresa turned cold on me right then and there.

"Adrian Sanchez!"

"Can you stop making trouble? This is your child."

"If anything really happens to me, you'll never get to be a father again!"

Ignoring the slap mark on my face, she frantically called Lucas to take her to the hospital for a checkup.

On the way, Lucas asked her, frightened.

"You just came out with me like that? Aren't you afraid your husband will be angry?"

Theresa laughed softly.

"He won't be angry."

"If Adrian Sanchez didn't love me to death, why would he have spent these past seven years desperate to give me a child?"

"He loves me that much. A little coaxing later and it'll be fine."

It wasn't until two hours later.

Once Theresa's temper had cooled that she sent a text to smooth things over.

"Thankfully the doctor said the baby's fine. Adrian, I hope today doesn't happen again."

She thought I'd be like beforecoax her a little, give her a way to save face, and everything would go back to the way it was.

But this time, I took my suitcase straight to the airport.

Before I left, I sent Theresa a message.

"Eight o'clock tonight, come to the caf."

"I have a surprise for you."