The Long Night Has a Clear Moon, the Past Has a Farewell

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Nobody thought Denys Stephens and I would last.

Only because I was too innocent, and he was too much of a looker.

But only I knew how well-behaved he was.

When someone offered to buy him coffee, he pointed at a puddle on the ground:

Just get down and drink a couple of mouthfuls, and don't keep me from waiting for my girlfriend.

When someone wanted to add him on WeChat, he pointed at the QR code on the shared electric scooter beside him.

"Scan that, and ride far away."

He always said, "Even when my girlfriend isn't around, I have to keep myself pure."

So even though everyone thought Denys was unreliable, I never doubted him.

Until the music festival, when I kept it a secret from him, wanting to surprise him before his performance.

The moment I got backstage, I saw him pinning a girl down, kissing her deeply.

"Wouldn't your girlfriend cry herself sick if she found out?"

There was laughter in Denys's voice:

"She's too well-behaved, she'd only cry herself sick, but youI'll wear you out until you faint."

The girl laughed. "But you'll still marry her one day, won't you?"

Denys raised a hand and wiped the wetness from the corner of his lips.

"I can't marry her, because the one I'm going to marry is you."

The bouquet I'd carried the whole way, I threw into the trash can beside me.

And I finally decided to give up on the man I'd taken in and loved for twelve years.

......

After leaving backstage, I sat on a bench at the music festival, watching the crowd seething under the lights.

Denys's performance would start in half an hour.

Yesterday he'd called me, excited, saying he'd sing our special song for the first time today, and telling me to be sure to watch the live stream.

I smiled and agreed, but secretly changed my ticket, wanting to surprise him.

But now, none of it mattered anymore.

My phone buzzed in my pocket.

It was Denys.

Celine, didn't you say you'd be back tonight? When do you get in?

Just half an hour ago he'd been holding Wallis Swanson, kissing her deeply.

And now he was asking when I'd be home, as if nothing had happened.

I didn't reply.

Soon my phone buzzed again.

I pushed the interview back. I'll come home right after the performance.

I got you the chestnut cake you like.

Sweetie, answer me.

Suddenly my eyes stung.

In our first few years together, he was brokehe couldn't even buy a bubble tea without splitting it into two purchases.

But the moment he earned a little money, he'd go far out of his way to buy me the chestnut cake I loved.

He'd hand me the cake and smile. "Sweetie, eat slowly."

Later, no matter how busy he got, he never forgot.

Everyone around me thought he loved me to death.

Even I thought so.

Until today.

I set my phone to silent and slid it back into my bag.

The performance began, and amid the screams, Denys's familiar voice rang out.

The familiar melody started.

This was the song he'd written for me.

The year I was sixteen, the two of us huddled under a drafty bridge, and Denys sang to me all night long.

He said the song was called "Sweetie."

Written for Celine Cox alone.

As the chorus began, Wallis appeared on the rising platform, her voice soft:

"You said I was your sweetie, cradled in your palm and never let go..."

Her shoulder pressed against Denys's arm.

The next second, he reached out and wrapped his arm around her waist.

The fans below sang along.

I remembered the time I asked him why he wouldn't go public.

He stroked my head.

"You don't like being bothered by a lot of people, so I respect that."

Back then I thought he was protecting what we had.

But now I was standing below his stage, watching him sing this song to another girl.

The screams from the audience shot suddenly higher.

"Together! Together!"

"Denys and Wallis are real!"

Wallis looked up at him, smiling as she leaned closer into his arms.

I stood in the crowd, and tears suddenly fell.

Over the years, I'd cried below his stage too.

I cried, moved, when he played big shows.

I cried with joy when he won the Best Newcomer Award.

But this time, the tears were different from before.

Before, it was because of happiness.

This time, it was because I finally understoodwhat I'd thought belonged to me alone could always, so easily, be handed to someone else.

As the song ended, Wallis suddenly stumbled.

Denys barely hesitated before bending down and sweeping her up into his arms.

The screams broke out again from the audience.

Denys carried her, step by step, toward backstage.

Watching that familiar back, I suddenly remembered what he'd once said.

"My stage is only for you to watch."

"My arms are only for you too."

"When I stand on a bigger stage someday, everyone will know you're my girlfriend."

Now his stage, his arms, and the future he'd spoken of had all been given to Wallis.

And I didn't even seem to have the courage to confront him.

I raised a hand, wiped away my tears, turned, and walked away from the crowd.

It was already past midnight when I got home.

The living room lights were off, and I sat slumped on the floor for a long time.

When I was twelve, my stepmother threw me out, and I wandered alone for a long time.

Later, I found Denys near a garbage heap, surrounded by stray dogs.

I gave him the only half a bread roll I had.

That winter, we survived by collecting scrap.

He split the money he made into two parts: one to buy food, the other he hid away, saying he'd take me away from there and buy me a house.

He looked at me intently.

"Celine Cox, I'll be good to you for the rest of my life."

Back then I didn't know how much a house cost, and I didn't know how complicated the world would be once I grew up.

All I knew was that when I was at my most helpless, it was this boy, muddy all over and chased by stray dogs, who shared a single bread roll with me.

But the person who came through the hardest times with me had changed after all.

The sound of a key turning came from outside the door.

"Celine? Why aren't the lights on?"

He clearly froze for a moment when he saw me sitting on the floor.

"I bought you a chestnut cake."

Suddenly I didn't know how to face that face.

He reached out and pinched my cheek like he always did.

"Why so glum? Don't tell me you're jealous?"

He laughed.

"It's all a showmance the label set up. Wallis was just a last-minute guest, it was only for the show."

"When she leaned into me, I got goosebumps."

As he said it, he deliberately raised his arm.

"I hate it most when people touch me. You know that."

Looking at the goosebumps on his arm, I suddenly felt how bitterly ironic it was.

When he kissed Wallis, he was more eager than I'd ever seen him.

But now he could tell a lie this smoothly without changing his expression.

Seeing that I wasn't talking, Denys kept trying to coax me.

"If you really don't like her, I'll have the label move her somewhere else."

I asked, "Would you?"

"Of course."

He answered fast.

"Why would I keep someone my girlfriend doesn't like?"

Before, all he had to do was say something like that and I'd believe him.

But now, all I felt was an ache in my chest.

I took a deep breath.

"I went backstage looking for you today."

Something strange flickered through his eyes, gone in an instant.

"Oh?"

"I saw you kiss her."

Denys's expression paused for a beat.

Just then, his phone, lying on the table, rang.

Three characters popped up on the screen.

Wallis Swanson.

Denys answered almost without hesitation.

I couldn't make out what was being said on the other end.

I only saw his tense brow slowly soften.

"Don't be scared. I'll be there right away."

He turned and picked up his coat.

"Something came up at the label, I have to head back."

I reached out and grabbed the hem of his coat.

"If you leave now, we're breaking up."

As those words left my mouth, my heart felt like it was being squeezed hard.

I waited for him to turn around.

Waited for him to bend down and hold me, the way he always had, and murmur soothing words.

But he only looked at me, a hint of weariness surfacing.

"Celine, don't threaten me with a breakup."

"I know tomorrow is your mother's memorial day. I'll definitely come back to be with you."

His tone was certain, as if I ought to believe him so long as the promise was earnest enough.

I didn't let go.

"I'm not threatening you. I mean it."

Denys stood where he was, as if he wanted to say something.

But the phone rang again.

He glanced down and immediately pulled his hand free of mine.

The door closed, and I sat in the dark for a long time before I remembered to turn on my phone.

At the top of the trending list was the news that Denys's new song had gone live.

I tapped in.

On the cover, Wallis stood in the firelight, with Denys holding her from behind.

I opened it, and the familiar melody slowly began to play.

It was the melody of "Little Darling."

He'd once said this was a song that belonged only to me.

But now he'd repackaged that song and given it to another girl.

The comment section quickly flooded with countless messages.

What kind of heavenly love is this?

Denys has finally gone public!

Wallis commented underneath:

Thank you for finally letting me wait for this day.

My fingers started to go numb.

I opened the comment box and dug up a photo from my album.

In it, we were sitting in front of the bridge arch, and he was smiling, full of spirit.

Type, send.

We've been together for twelve years.

I turned off my phone.

Denys didn't come back.

I went to the cemetery alone.

Denys had always come with me before.

He would order the flowers ahead of time, hold my hand, and speak to the photo:

"Ma'am, I'll take good care of Celine."

But today, he hadn't even given me a proper explanation.

I sat at the cemetery for a long time before I got up to leave.

I went to a restaurant my mother had taken me to before she died.

That was the day my father took another woman down to the marriage registry.

And my mother took me here, where we had our last birthday dinner together.

The moment I pushed open the glass door, I saw Denys sitting there, patiently peeling shrimp for Wallis.

Wallis was smiling sweetly.

"Denys, that's too much."

Denys set the peeled shrimp into her bowl.

"Don't you like them? I remembered."

The middle-aged woman sitting across from them looked deeply pleased.

"Denys, our Wallis has been pampered since she was little, so you'll have to take good care of her from now on."

"Don't worry, ma'am. As long as Wallis is willing, I'll take care of her for the rest of my life."

My steps stopped where I stood.

The woman in the elegant dressI recognized her at a single glance.

Back then she had smiled just like this.

Smiling as she tore my family apart, smiling as she drove my mother to her death, smiling as she threw me out.

But Denys knew all about my past.

He knew my mother had been driven sick, knew I had been thrown out of my home, knew I had lived on the streets, and knew how much I hated the woman in front of me.

Yet he still sat there.

Sharing a meal with them.

Making a lifelong promise to her daughter.

I walked over, one step at a time.

"Denys, you know perfectly well who they are, so why are you still sitting here with them!"

When Denys saw me, he stood up and tried to take my hand.

"Celine, I'll explain this to you."

I flung him off hard.

"Answer me!"

Denys's face darkened.

"What happened in the older generation has nothing to do with Wallis."

"Nothing to do with her?"

I laughed, but the tears fell first.

I looked at the cake on the table.

There was a line written across it.

Wishing Wallis happiness forever.

How ridiculous.

After I lost my mother, I never dared to celebrate a birthday again.

Yet Denys, who understood my pain better than anyone, sat here peeling shrimp for her, promising her a lifetime.

As if all the tears I'd shed and the bitterness I'd swallowed over the years had never existed.

Wallis slowly stood up.

"Celine, you can't accept it, can you?"

She came closer and lowered her voice.

"My mother stole your father back then, drove your mother to her death, and left you with nothing but the streets."

"And now I've taken away the person you love most."

"You and your motheryou both deserve it!"

The last thread in my mind snapped completely.

I raised my hand and slapped her hard across the face.

But before I could touch her, Denys seized my wrist.

He yanked me back hard and pulled Wallis into his arms.

"Celine, are you insane?!"

The back of my hand grazed his shoulder and came down heavily.

Wallis cried so hard her shoulders trembled.

Denys soothed her in a low voice:

"Don't be afraid, I'm here."

Wallis's mother suddenly rose to her feet and slapped me hard across the face.

"Who do you think you are, daring to raise a hand in front of my daughter?"

A buzzing filled my ears, and my face snapped to the side.

My stomach twisted with a sudden cramp, and I collapsed onto the cold floor.

Wallis sobbed softly in his arms.

"Denys, let's go."

He glanced at me, then held Wallis tightly.

"You can't take all your anger out on Wallis just because of what happened in the past."

I heard the footsteps growing farther and farther away.

He once said he would protect me for the rest of his life.

But in the end, the one who left me behind was him too.

I went home alone.

The moment I turned on my phone, countless private messages flooded in.

Shameless sasaeng, stay away from Denys!

Is photoshopping pictures and spreading lies fun for you?

I scrolled down and finally found where it all started.

Denys had replied to my comment himself.

Don't know her. Would this extreme fan please stop harassing my life.

Extreme fan.

Harassment.

Twelve years together, and in his mouth it came down to just those few words.

The tears came again.

The old Denys had been most afraid of me ever being wronged.

But now, the one who had personally shoved me into the middle of public opinion was also him.

I set my phone aside and lit the brazier.

The photos dropped in one by one.

The first time we held hands.

The first time we moved into a rented apartment.

......

The boy in the photos had eyes only for me.

And now, he was unwilling to admit I had ever existed.

The firelight flickered on my face, and the heat pressed my eyes until they stung.

Watching the last of the ashes, I suddenly felt much lighter.

So it turned out that letting go of someone didn't have to mean waiting for him to come back.

As long as I finally stopped making excuses for him, that was enough.

I went back to my room and started packing.

At two in the morning, Denys pushed the door open and came in.

His expression shifted slightly when he saw the suitcase.

"Celine, stop this."

I said softly,

"Didn't you say I was your extreme fan? If I'm a fan, then I should stay away from my idol."

His face darkened.

"I was only trying to protect Wallis."

"So you dumped all the dirty water on me?"

"Those people online have already started affecting her life."

"And what about my life? Did you ever think about whether I might be hurting too, whether I might be wounded?"

Irritation flashed in Denys's eyes.

"It's not what you think."

I finally couldn't hold it in and shouted, "Then what is it?!"

"I just wanted to try what life is like without you!"

That sentence stunned me.

"Every time I got close to you, I remembered the past!"

"I remembered us sleeping under the bridge! I remembered us fighting stray dogs over half a bread roll!"

"Those days were so filthy. It took everything I had to climb out of them."

"Do you understand? Every time I see you, I remember the man who had nothing!"

A chill spread through my whole body.

So the hardship I'd walked through beside him wasn't the memory he cherished most.

It was the shame he most wanted to wipe away.

I stood up, and my tears finally broke loose.

"So she stands for the new life!"

"And I stand for your past, is that it?!"

Denys didn't answer.

"Now that you have money, now that you're famous, you think the man who slept under the bridge back then is humiliating, and that I'm humiliating along with him, right?!"

"Denys, you stopped wanting me a long time ago!"

He pressed his lips together and didn't argue.

That silence was crueler than any answer.

Suddenly I remembered that winter.

After a stray dog bit him, he leaned on my shoulder and said weakly,

"Celine, don't give up on me."

"You're all I have."

I held him and promised I'd stay with him my whole life.

Later, he finally had the whole world.

And I became the part of his past he least wanted to look back on.

I wiped my tears away.

"My biggest regret is picking you out of the garbage heap."

Denys jerked his head up.

"Celine..."

"If I'd known you'd turn into this, I'd rather I hadn't seen you that day."

My phone suddenly rang.

Denys didn't move.

When it rang for the third time, he answered after all.

The person on the other end seemed to be crying hard.

He turned away at once.

"Don't cry, I'll be right there."

I didn't stop him.

When he reached the door, he suddenly turned back.

"Celine, I'll come back."

"From the day I met you, I decided I was destined to be tangled up with you for the rest of my life."

He said it earnestly, like he was making some kind of promise.

But I couldn't take it in anymore.

Once, I had wanted him to choose me without wavering.

Now that he'd finally promised to be tangled up with me forever, all I felt was exhaustion.

Watching his retreating figure, I said,

"Denys, I don't want you anymore."

I sat in the departure lounge, opened Weibo, and edited my long post again.

One by one, I uploaded all the photos of me and Denys from over the years.

After I posted it, I turned off my phone.

As the plane took off, the city lights shrank away outside the window.

I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes.

Denys said he would come back.

But this time, I wouldn't wait for him again.