Dawn Chills, Sleepless Night

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On the day I was declared recovered from postpartum depression, Nathaniel, who was driving, suddenly spoke.

The truth is, I have another family.

The words hit me without warning, leaving my mind buzzing, a dull throb behind my eyes. He kept his gaze fixed on the road, then sighed, These past few years, with your postpartum depression flaring up, your constant talk of ending it all... Ive been living a hellish existence too. Now that youre recovered, its only right that I spend some time making it up to my real wife and children.

It took a long moment for me to force a trembling sound from my throat. Then... then what are my child and I? Fakes?

He didn't deny it immediately. After a long pause, he said with a chilling certainty, Think what you will. You wouldnt leave, not with the child, would you?

My body went completely cold. The facade of my recovery shattered, exposing the raw wound beneath.

The suffocating dread, an old, unwelcome friend, washed over me. I clutched my throat, gasping for air that wouldn't come. Nathaniel, with practiced ease, handed me water and patted my back, yet his words remained cruelly sharp. The day you gave birth, Scarlett called, saying she wasn't feeling well. Ha, turns out she just tricked me into being her plaything. To be precise, we were merely legal bedfellows.

I swallowed the water with difficulty, a fierce nausea churning in my stomach. I remembered that day, the day I gave birth. I was rushed into the operating room, but Nathaniel never arrived. The doctors made over a dozen calls, unable to locate him. In the sterile, empty corridor, only my desperate cries echoed. From that day on, I dreaded being alone. The sound of my child crying would send me spiraling. The doctor called it severe postpartum depression.

Nathaniel suddenly pulled the car over, grabbed two tissues, and dabbed at my tears.

So... I choked back a sob. You already had a wife. Why did you have a child with me?

His hand froze, then he forced a thin smile. I made it very clear. Marrying her was just for some ridiculous promise. But Audrey, you're the one I love. And I gave you the child you wanted. Isn't that enough? He gazed at me with intense seriousness, as if expecting my affirmative answer, expecting me to readily accept his scraps of affection. But the faith I had clung to so desperately crumbled into dust in that instant.

Just moments ago, I'd recited memorized answers to all the psychiatrist's questions. I'd fought to suppress the countless impulses to end my own life. And finally, I'd received the coveted diagnosis of recovery from depression. I thought today would be our fresh start...

Tears streamed down my face. Nathaniel, youre utterly rotten.

Nathaniel stared at me, then a sudden laugh escaped him. Rotten, maybe. But I was there for you through the hardest years. At least in your and our child's eyes, I was a good husband and father.

Only then did I realize how foolish and naive I had been. Seeing my silence, he patted my head with a sense of satisfaction and continued driving, until his phone abruptly rang.

Honey, I miss you. I forgot to tell you this morning, the pipes at home...

The woman, as if it were the most natural thing, called him 'honey,' rambling on about their shared household trivialities. Nathaniel listened indulgently, responding in kind. Finally, he looked at me with a soft smile. Scarlett needs me. I have to go there right away. We're not far from home. You can head back on your own.

I was dropped off, effectively kicked out of the car. A ten-minute walk had never felt so impossibly long.

Back home, I retrieved the sleeping pills Id tossed into the trash and swallowed every single one. My stomach clenched in violent spasms, and fragments of old memories flashed through my mind. I remembered right after giving birth, curled up alone in the bathroom, letting my baby cry heartbrokenly outside the door. Nathaniel had stood between me and my blade countless times, always stroking my hair gently, saying, I'm here. It's okay... He'd carefully managed my volatile emotions while also taking on the task of soothing our child. Just as he said, he was a good husband, a good father. Perhaps it was because those memories were too painfully beautiful that I chose slow-acting sleeping pills, opting for a slower departure.

The next morning, a clatter from downstairs jolted me awake. As I descended the stairs, a woman, barely clothed, suddenly stood before me. Scarlett met my gaze, a flicker of surprise in her eyes, then she pursed her lips apologetically. Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I just came in to look for some contraception. Nathaniel's waiting for me in the car... Then she spread her hands, a hint of challenge in her posture. But I couldn't find any. Don't you two usually... use them?

It seemed she knew. Ever since I gave birth, Nathaniel hadn't touched me. He'd claimed he wasn't interested, that he was too busy with work, even that it was to help stabilize my condition. I looked at my own swollen, changed body in the mirror, then at Scarlett's graceful figure. I understood the real reason now.

Nathaniel walked in, saw us facing off, and quickly moved to cover the fierce marks on Scarlett's body. Aud He instinctively looked at me, then quickly changed his tone. Scarlett, I told you to go to the convenience store. Why are you... undressed?

The woman seized the opportunity to nestle into his arms, pouting playfully, Didn't you say you couldn't wait? And this place is closer!

Nathaniel stroked her hair, his voice just as soft and coaxing as it used to be with me. It was all too familiar, so sickeningly familiar that I wanted to vomit. In an instant, the suppressed fury burned through my reason. I shoved both of them. Get out! At least this is still my home!

Scarlett stumbled from my push, her face full of disbelief as she looked at me.

Audrey! Nathaniel's eyes blazed crimson with anger. He pulled Scarlett behind him. She was just here to pick something up. Don't scare her! The reflection in his eyes showed me as a raging, unreasonable lunatic. A torrent of emotions overwhelmed me, and I suddenly coughed up a mouthful of blood.

Nathaniel's breath hitched as he stared at the dark red blood on the floor. What... what's wrong? Audrey, wasn't your illness gone?

I stood frozen, utterly bewildered. The medication in my system must be starting to take effect. I opened my mouth to tell him the truth, but Scarlett let out a small cry, drawing his attention. Honey, I think I twisted my ankle. It hurts so much...

Nathaniel's brow furrowed with concern. When he looked back at me, his eyes were tinged with disgust. After he carried Scarlett away, the tears I'd held back streamed down my face. I had practiced suppressing my emotions countless times, but I couldn't hold them in any longer. Like a madwoman, I smashed the house to pieces, then frantically cleaned up the wreckage, preserving the last shred of my dignity.

I had just wiped the blood from the floor when the call camea critical condition notification for my mother. When I stumbled into the hospital, my mother lay frail and fading on the bed. Through the thick oxygen mask, her brow was furrowed, a hint of anger in her expression. Nathaniel told me. You, why would you try to break up someone else's family...

In that instant, my world spun on its axis. I remembered how my mother had happily given me away to Nathaniel, placing all her hopes on us. Learning that Nathaniel had another family must have pained her a hundred, a thousand times more than it pained me. I sobbed, trembling. Mom, please let me explain, I... Before I could finish, my mother turned her head away, unwilling to look at me, tears soaking her pillow.

Watching the doctors rush her into surgery, I drifted in a daze, somehow finding my way to Scarlett's house. Pushing open the door, I walked into the liveliest family gathering I had ever witnessed. Ignoring everyone's stares, my eyes red, I demanded, Nathaniel, did you tell my mother about our fake marriage? In that moment, I desperately wished he would deny it, say it was all a misunderstanding!

Instead, Nathaniel met my gaze openly, his eyes holding a strange, self-righteous glint. That's right. I thought you could get along with Scarlett peacefully, but you've gone too far. This is just a punishment. With those words, the last sliver of hope in my heart shattered. I let out a bitter laugh. So my mother's life was worth less than Scarlett's twisted ankle!

I was about to explode, but Nathaniel's eyes gave me a warning, and then I noticedat the family gathering, besides Mr. and Mrs. Albright, there were two elderly people Nathaniel had told me were long dead.

Didn't you say... you had no parents?

Seeing Nathaniel's hesitant, unspoken expression, I understood everything. In their harmonious family, I was merely the woman hidden in the shadows. I wasn't even worthy of meeting his parents. Scarlett was hosting the four elderly guests, playing the perfect homemaker. Their unfamiliar gazes fell upon me; they clearly had no idea who I was.

In the awkward silence, Scarlett quickly rushed over to smooth things over. Audrey, dear, is the baby crying for his daddy again? Why don't you wait here for a bit? We'll be done soon.

At her words, everyone gasped.

A child? So you're the mistress who tricked our Nathaniel?

This is our family gathering today! You won't cause a scene here! Get out!

What disgrace! How can a woman be so shameless?

I listened numbly, Nathaniel not uttering a single word in my defense. Instead, he gritted his teeth, issuing an unyielding command: Audrey, go home now.