She’s Your Almost, He’s Her Afterthought

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I'd been in love with Jason for ten years and never found the courage to tell him.

Not until I was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer.

So I tied him up and made him mine, over and over again.

His eyes were bloodshot as he struggled against the rope.

Audrey! If you've got any guts, you'll let me go.

I thought if I did, he'd strangle me in a fit of rage.

Instead, he took me, claiming every inch of me with a fierce hunger that burned day and night.

"Audrey," he growled, his voice raw, "do I look weak to you? You actually drugged me with Viagra?"

******

I'd been in love with Jason for a decade.

From the time I was just a girl to the woman I am now.

He lived in the mansion next door.

I watched him transform from a lanky teenager into the man he is today, a man whose mature charm was so potent it left me dizzy.

But I never dared to say a word.

I was terrified that if I confessed and he rejected me, whatever fragile connection we had would shatter completely.

Then, ten days ago, I collapsed at work and was rushed to the hospital.

The doctor's face was etched with pity.

"Late-stage glioblastoma. It's too advanced. I'm so sorry, but treatment is no longer a viable option."

I couldn't just die.

Not yet.

I hadn't traveled the world.

I hadn't told Jason that I loved him...

My mind flashed to the dark romance novels I'd been reading, filled with possessive men and their obsessive love.

I was dying.

It's not like dying's gonna change anything.

So I called Jason and invited him over for dinner.

As the CEO of Sterling Corporation, he was always busy.

But he promised he'd come by later.

When he arrived, he looked weary from his travels, a thin cover of ice still clinging to his black overcoat.

I realized then that he'd been overseas when I called.

He had flown for a whole day, walking straight from the airport and into my trap.

A pang of guilt hit me.

I was about to make up an excuse to send him away, but he walked right past me to the dining table and sat down.

Before I could say anything, he started helping himself.

I watched, my heart pounding, as he took a spoonful of the spicy Thai soup I'd liberally 'enhanced'.

He glanced up at me, one eyebrow raised in surprise.

"Haven't seen you in a while. Your cooking has been much improved."

Of course, it had.

It was takeout from the best Thai restaurant in the city!

Why takeout?

Simple.

I was afraid that if I cooked, it would taste so bad he wouldn't eat enough for the drugs to work.

I went to the kitchen to grab a bowl, and by the time I returned, his eyes were starting to glaze over.

I bit my lip.

"Are you tired? Do you want to rest for a bit?"

He nodded.

"Sure, may I lay down in your guest room for a little while? I'm a little dizzy."

"I think it must be from my trip..."

"Then you should lie down."

We'd known each other for so many years that all the usual walls were down between us.

He followed me to the guest room without a second thought.

Jason fell asleep almost instantly.

I struggled to pull off his heavy coat, my eyes drawn to the perfect figure of his body, hinted at beneath the thin fabric of his white shirt.

My lips went dry.

My pulse hammered against my ribs.

But I couldn't bring myself to unwrap him completely.

Not yet.

Instead, I went to my closet and pulled out the collection of silk ties I'd bought for him over the years but never had the nerve to give him as a gift.

Tonight, they would finally serve their purpose!

I used them to bind his hands and feet to the bedposts.

When I was done, I collapsed onto the floor beside the bed, my strength gone.

I looked up at his handsome face, so peaceful in sleep.

I could already imagine the storm that would erupt when he woke up.

The same volcanic fury he'd shown when his mother once casually suggested that we should just get married.

I stared at him, not wanting to blink, trying to memorize every line and curve of him.

In a few days, I wouldn't be able to see him anymore.

I wanted to drink my fill.

For more than twenty years, I'd been the good, selfless girl.

For my final act, I was going to be selfish.

Even if he hated me for it, it didn't matter anymore.

After all, who's gonna hold a grudge against a dead man?

That way, when I was gone, he wouldn't feel a thing.

His phone, still in his coat pocket, buzzed incessantly.

It was Matthew, his assistant.

Without hesitating, and afraid the noise would wake him, I answered it.

"Jason's exhausted. He fell asleep right after dinner."

Matthew, ever the professional, hung up without another word.

Slowly, my own eyelids grew heavy.

I climbed onto the bed, wrapped my arms around his waist, and let sleep pull me under.

I was jolted awake in the middle of the night by Jason's furious roar.

"Audrey!"

I shot upright, the sudden movement making my head swim.

The world went black for a second, and I tumbled back down, landing in his arms.

"Audrey! What the hell are you doing?"

Doing?

I propped myself up on my elbows, my vision still blurry as I looked at him.

"Take a guess."

His expression darkened.

I shifted, kneeling on the bed to look down at him.

"Since you're awake, let's get down to business."

Jason's brow furrowed, his powerful arms straining against the silk ties.

A flicker of panic went through me.

If he broke free, this whole desperate charade would be for nothing.

Closing my eyes, I threw myself on top of him.

"Don't move! Just listen to me!"

He gritted his teeth, his voice a low, hateful snarl.

"Are you insane?"

I lifted my head slightly, my face inches from his.

"No, I'm not insane."

"Then what is this?"

"I have you tied to my bed. What do you think I want to do?"

His pupils constricted, the disgust on his face impossible to hide.

"Audrey! It's me, Jason!" he seethed.

"Have you lost all sense of decency?"

I didn't want to hear his accusations.

My hand shot out to the nightstand, grabbing the first soft thing I could find-a stray sock-and stuffed it into his mouth.

Ignoring the fire in his eyes, I stared him down.

"Shut up!"

He struggled again, but the ties held firmly.

My heart was a frantic drum against my ribs.

"I'm going to kiss you," I whispered, my voice trembling.

"Don't you dare interrupt me."

I pulled the sock from his mouth, and before he could speak, I closed my eyes and crashed my lips against his.

My clumsy fingers fumbled with his shirt, sending buttons scattering across the floor.

I was like a survivor clinging to the last piece of driftwood in a storm, desperate for an escape, for a release.

All the pent-up emotion, all the years of silent longing, I poured them out onto his skin, my mouth finding every inch of him as he let out muffled, guttural groans.

My friend Emily once told me that in bed, a man thinks with only one part of his body.

She was right.

As my movements grew bolder, more desperate, Jason stopped trying to curse me.

The only sounds from him now were those deep, continuous groans.

When it was over, his face was flushed, a look of profound humiliation in his eyes.

I couldn't stand to see it.

I threw on my clothes and headed for the bathroom.

As I was about to leave, his voice, raw and strained, stopped me.

"Audrey!"

I turned.

"What?"

His eyes were red with fury.

"If you've got any guts, you'll let me go."

I froze for a second, then a bitter, careless smile touched my lips.

"Oh, I'll let you go," I said.

"Just not yet."

After my shower, I had intended to go back to my own room.

But the memory of Jason's abs, rock-solid beneath my touch, pulled me back.

I returned to the guest room.

He was still awake, staring at the ceiling like a frog about to be dissected.

The moment I walked in, he started again, his voice laced with venom.

"Untie me!"

I shook my head.

"No."

"Have you no shame?"

"What do you possibly gain from doing this?"

"Didn't your mother ever teach you to have some self-respect?"

He knew that would hit a nerve.

He was being deliberately cruel.

My lips pressed into a thin line.

I said nothing, just walked silently to the bed.

I kicked off my slippers, climbed onto the mattress, and straddled him.

He scowled, about to launch into another tirade, but I covered his mouth with my hand.

"You shut up and listen to me," I said, my voice low.

"I've known you for eleven years, and I've loved you for ten. I've tried to give up, but I can't. I'm not willing to."

"I know you don't like me. They say the one who loves is the one who has to be brave, so I'm being brave."

"I'm going to have you. And there's not a damn thing you can do to stop me!"

With that, my eyes burning with unshed tears, I leaned down and kissed him again.

Jason's lips were thin and cool, with a faint taste of mint.

I was already exhausted, but I could feel a distinct change in him, a response he couldn't hide.

I pulled back and looked at his face, a triumphant, wicked smile spreading across mine.

"Still pretending to be the cool, untouchable CEO? You're not so different from any other man, are you?"

Throughout it all, the sounds Jason made left my face burning, but filled me with a deep, forbidden satisfaction.

The next time I opened my eyes, Jason was already awake.

To my relief, his expression wasn't one of pure, violated humiliation anymore.

When he saw me stir, he spoke, his voice hoarse.

"Untie me."

"No."

He let out a sigh of exasperation and switched tactics.

"Audrey, what's gotten into you? How long are you planning on keeping me here?"

I counted on my fingers and then held up a number.

"Seven days."

Jason was speechless.

"Why are you doing this?"

"No reason," I said calmly, pulling on a robe as I got out of bed.

"I just decided I'm going to spend seven days with you."

I expected him to explode, but instead, a dark, humorless smile twisted his lips.

"This is illegal confinement, Audrey. You know how much I have to do every day, how many people need to reach me. If I just vanish, do you really think you can keep me here for a week?"

I stood frozen beside the bed.

He was right.

He was a grown man.

If he truly resisted, how long could I possibly hold him?

"Audrey, let me go. I promise I won't leave."

I stared at him for a few seconds, then stubbornly shook my head.

"I don't believe you."

"Audrey, I have extremely important work to do. You can stay by my side, but you have to let me out of here."

He thought he'd offered a compromise I couldn't refuse.

But I rejected it without a second thought.

"Until the police break down my door," I said, my voice unyielding, "you're staying right here."

Jason knew it was useless.

His dark eyes scanned me from head to toe, a long, searching look.

Then, to my utter shock, he relented.

"If you keep me tied up like this for seven days, my hands and feet will be useless. Is that what you want?"

"No."

"But I have no other choice. I can't overpower you, and I can't stop you from leaving. I'm sorry to have to do this to you."

"Audrey," he said, his voice deadly serious now.

"I swear on my grandmother's memory, I will not leave this house for seven days."

Jason's grandmother.

I knew how much she meant to him.

I knew how genuinely kind she had been to me.

When she passed away, Jason and I had huddled in a corner together, crying our eyes out.

It was the first time I had ever seen him cry.

"You need me to cooperate," he continued, his tone reasonable.

"Otherwise, it's very likely your door will be broken down by this afternoon."

His voice was sincere.

I knew he was telling the truth.

The CEO of Sterling Corporation goes missing?

It would be a major news story.

I wanted to keep him here, but I didn't want to die with a criminal record.

I could already imagine the sleazy, sensational headlines the media would write.

I gave in.

I tossed his clothes to him and then, one by one, untied the knots.

He gritted his teeth as he flexed his stiff hands, his voice dripping with scorn.

"I never realized you were such a psycho."

My face was a mask.

"There's a lot you've never realized."

His eyes fell on the chaotic pile of silk ties on the floor.

He looked back at me, incredulous.

"Where did you get so many of these?"

"I'd see one I thought would look good on you, and I'd buy it. Before I knew it, I had a whole collection."

At least they hadn't gone to waste.

They'd finally been used on him, after all.

"Why didn't you ever give them to me?"

I let out a short, bitter laugh.

"I'm not in the habit of throwing myself at someone who gives me the cold shoulder."

Jason's expression turned cold.

"So you decided to just take what you wanted by force?"

A hot blush spread from my face all the way down to my toes.

In the heat of my madness, I hadn't cared about the consequences.

But hearing him say it out loud, I was suddenly flooded with shame.

To get a man, I had to resort to tying him up.

But the feeling passed quickly.

I told myself it was worth it.

At least I'd done something this crazy once in my life.

Jason was true to his word.

Once I freed him, he didn't try to force his way out.

He just asked for my laptop.

"Are you going to email Matthew for help?"

He gave me a look you'd give a complete idiot.

"Are you dense? If I wanted to leave, would I need to call someone?"

It wasn't that I was dense.

It was that my brain was literally failing me.

I gave him the computer.

I'd already quit my job, so it was no use to me.

Jason sat on the balcony, dealing with work, while I curled up on the living room sofa and just watched him.

The sunlight streamed in at a perfect angle, creating a fleeting illusion of domestic bliss.

An illusion I had stolen.

The afternoon sun was bright, and as I watched him, a wave of drowsiness washed over me.

I fought to stay awake, but my consciousness slipped away.

When I opened my eyes again, Jason was gone.

I shot up, my bare feet cold against the floor as I frantically searched the apartment.

My heart was in my throat until I threw open the bathroom door.

It dropped back into my chest, but the moment I saw him, my sanity checked out.

I launched myself at him.

I had no technique, only a desperate need to leave my mark, my mouth hungry and wild.

A frantic deer was trapped in my chest, crashing against my ribs.

I clung to him like an octopus, terrified he would push me away.

Through the haze, I heard Jason let out a resigned sigh.

Then, a strong arm wrapped around me, lifting me up.

"You're a maniac," he murmured against my skin.

"But I like it."

Like what?

Before I could process it, his teeth grazed my neck, and suddenly, the tables had turned.

I was beginning to believe what Emily had told me.

For men, loving and doing are two completely different things.

Afterward, as the heady lust faded, Jason leaned against the headboard and studied me.

"Audrey, I'm seriously starting to wonder if you've been possessed by some kind of demon."

After all the years we'd known each other, it wasn't strange for him to be suspicious.

I was acting completely out of character.

"You're right," I said, nodding seriously.

"A succubus."

Jason's eyes narrowed.

"And why didn't this succubus go after someone else?"

I tilted my head, pretending to think.

"Probably because you were the easiest target around."