Be True to Myself

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Cold war, day five. I swallowed my pride, heading to Terry Edwards place to make amends.

My fingerprint stubbornly refused to unlock his door.

Then the door opened, and the girl who had tormented me in high school stood there, wearing his shirt, smiling at me.

Terry lazily emerged from behind her. "Know you messed up?"

My heart utterly broken, I fled the country.

Six months later, at a friends engagement party.

Terry scoffed, "Audrey Hayes, you still cant let go of me, can you?"

I offered a soft smile. "I'm here to deliver my wedding invitation."

It had been five days since Terry and I started our cold war. It was also our five-year anniversary. Id carefully picked out the watch hed been eyeing and brought a small cake, ready to patch things up.

When I arrived at his villa, the fingerprint scanner kept flashing authentication failed.

Then the door opened, and Scarlett stood there, smiling at me, wearing Terrys shirt.

My mind went blank. My feet instinctively recoiled a few steps.

She was the girl who had bullied me all through high school.

Who is it?

Terry lazily poked his head out from behind Scarlett. He looked me up and down, then let out a scoff.

Audrey Walker, know you messed up?

Before I could even react, Terry pulled me inside.

The villa was adorned with balloons, flowers, and champagne. The glaring neon sign Bachelor Party screamed at me.

Many of his friends were in the living room. Seeing me enter, they started to tease.

Audrey, you almost let Terry join our bachelor ranks!

Such a long cold war this time, arent you afraid hed be snatched by some other girl?

Scarlett chimed in.

Dont say that. Terry is deeply devoted to Audrey. She pouted playfully. Remember how he forced me to transfer schools for her? Thinking about it now, I still feel wronged.

Terry put an arm around my shoulder. Audrey, its been so long. You wouldnt still hold a grudge, would you?

I neither nodded nor shook my head. I couldn't forgive her.

From freshman year, Scarlett had tormented me. She and a few other girls would corner me, raining slaps, glue, and garbage down on me. Bugs in my pencil case, rats in my backpack, even forcing me to get a buzz cut. Those years were the darkest chapter of my life.

It wasn't until the last semester that Terry transferred to our school. He was like a ray of light, pulling me out of the gutter. He used his connections to make Scarlett transfer and declared in front of the entire school: anyone who dared to bully Audrey Walker would have to answer to him. He became my deskmate, brushing his fingers through my short hair, smiling, Audrey, only you could pull off this haircut.

Even now, seeing Scarlett, I couldn't bring myself to be calm. The fear inside me surged violently. I lowered my voice, pleading in Terrys ear, Terry, can you ask her to leave?

His arm around me tightened. Its been years, no need to be dramatic.

His voice wasn't quiet, and Scarlett heard him. She looked at me, her tone dripping with sarcasm. Audrey Walker, I just got back from overseas. Youre not trying to make Terry send me away again, are you? All that stuff when we were kids, it was just playful teasing. Does it really matter?

Others chimed in, echoing her sentiment. Who hasnt had a rebellious phase when they were young?

My nails dug into my palms. They called that rebellious. Even Terry thought it was nothing. I stood up, all eyes turning to me. I felt incredibly uncomfortable.

I have something to do, Im leaving now. You all have fun.

I practically fled. Running far from the villa, my hands still trembled. My heart hammered like a drum. I couldn't face the unbearable past. I just wanted to bury it deep, never to see the light of day again.

The next day, Terry picked me up from work. He was wearing the watch Id given him, a triumphant grin on his face. I kept my expression neutral, though my stomach churned with unease. I had no right to tell him who his friends could be. He drove me back to his villa.

The moment we stepped inside, his passionate kisses descended upon me. Audrey, I missed you so much. I wasnt in the mood and tried to push him away. He mistook my reluctance for playing hard to get, and his desire only intensified. Pinned against the sofa, our breaths grew heavier.

Beep C Unlocked.

We both shot up from the sofa, fumbling to straighten our rumpled clothes. Before we could even see who it was, a familiar voice filled the air.

Terry, cant you two go to the bedroom?

It was Scarletts voice. I stared at Terry in disbelief. The interruption clearly annoyed him too.

Scarlett, could you please knock next time?

My hands trembled uncontrollably. I pointed at Scarlett. Terry, why does she have your house code?

Terry realized I was angry. He stepped forward and took my hand. Honey, she just got back from overseas and didnt want to go home, so shes just crashing here for a couple of days. Lets go to the bedroom, ignore her.

Slap!

My hand flew up, striking his face. Terry seemed stunned, his head tilted slightly. Scarlett, however, rushed forward, shielding him.

Audrey Walker, are you insane?!

My eyes stung with tears. The scene before me was utterly unbearable. My boyfriend, standing behind the woman who had bullied me.

The next second, Terry pushed Scarlett aside. His eyes were bloodshot, as if hed been deeply insulted.

Audrey Walker, since when did you become so petty? Just because she bullied you back then, you cant stand to have her around?

My tears fell without warning, my shoulders shaking.

I broke up with him.

Only later did I discover I had always been a fool. Terry and Scarlett were childhood sweethearts. He hadn't used any connections back then; hed simply complained to Scarlett's father.

I dont remember how I walked out of Terrys villa that day. I only remember his roar before I left. He said, If you walk out that door, theres no going back.

The boy who once stood up for me now stood against me.

I blocked all of Terrys contact information. My heart ached, a suffocating pain. I lay awake all night. My dark circles were so heavy I felt drained of all vitality. Whenever I had a moment to myself, Terrys face would appear in my mind. Sometimes, Id have nightmares, dreaming of Terry and Scarlett bullying me together.

I poured all my attention into work. The company had an overseas project, requiring at least six months abroad. I applied without a second thought. At least, overseas, their shadows wouldnt haunt me.

But withdrawal was excruciating. The emotional backlash was like a hand at my throat, leaving me breathless, my hands and feet tingling. After work, I received a message from one of Terrys friends.

Audrey, just apologize to Terry. Be careful, or he might actually get snatched away.

As long as you say the word, hell forgive you.

The message was followed by a video. In a noisy karaoke room, Scarlett playfully leaned into Terrys embrace. I knew Terry had sent it to me deliberately. Every time we argued, hed use his friends to convey what he wanted me to know. This video was just another way of saying, Audrey, if you dont come back, Ill be with someone else.

Terry always resorted to such cheap tricks.

Sleepless nights persisted, yet in this moment, I felt an uncanny calm. I deleted everyone connected to Terry. This time, I wouldnt waver.

The night before I flew out, Terry appeared outside my office building. I stood by the main entrance, watching him. My eyes were red-rimmed, my lips parted, but no words came out. Just as I hesitated whether to approach him, I saw Scarlett. She walked out of a nearby coffee shop. Terry opened the car door for her, then leaned in and kissed her cheek.

My legs felt like lead, rooted to the spot. The car merged into the rush of traffic, disappearing from view. I wanted to curse them, call them names, but my tears betrayed me, tasting bitter as they slipped into the corners of my mouth.

Seeing Terry again I wasnt as strong as Id imagined. That night, I cried until my eyes were red and swollen. Terrys words from the villa kept echoing in my mind: If you walk out that door, theres no going back.

The future felt too distant

Life abroad wasnt as easy as Id imagined. I felt like a body with its soul sucked out. During the day, I worked frantically. At night, I stared at the hotel ceiling, sleepless. Occasionally, Id spot a familiar figure on the street, and my heart would clench, only to mock myself. Audrey Walker, youre still thinking about him.

A month later, I received a call from a colleague. Audrey, did you have a fight with your boyfriend? Didnt you tell him you were going abroad? He came to the office, frantic, looking for you. We told him you went overseas, but he didnt believe it.

I lowered my gaze. A month. It took him a month to finally humble himself.

Why are you crying? The man beside me offered a tissue. I blinked hard, indicating I was fine. After a brief chat with my colleague, I hung up.

The phone rang again. As soon as I answered, I heard a roar from the other end. Audrey Walker, you damn well hid overseas! Getting a temper, huh? You

I hung up before he could finish, then switched off my phone.

Caleb Vance watched me, amused. A former boyfriend you cant let go of? Hed make a decent bedmate, I suppose.

If he wasn't my client, the coffee in front of him might have ended up on his face. Men were all the same. I forced a smile and politely flattered him. Mr. Vance, youre so open-minded.

Three months later, Terry appeared before me. He looked much more haggard. Dark stubble shadowed his jaw, and his eyes were bloodshot. We sat in a caf, neither of us knowing what to say. I broke the silence first.

Business trip?

Terry stared at me, his gaze unreadable. After a long silence, he finally spoke. Audrey, I missed you.

They say delayed affection is worth less than dirt. In that moment, I understood the saying completely. But Id overestimated him. His next sentence slapped me awake.

Im getting engaged. To Scarlett. If you just open your mouth and say you object, my fiance can be you, anytime.

I chuckled. Terrys inherent arrogance was too obvious. Whether in relationships or business, he never bowed down. Even when trying to win me back, he pushed me to make the decision. Five years. I knew him too well.

I saw the anticipation practically overflowing in Terrys eyes. He wanted to get engaged to me, yet he couldnt even say he was sorry. I swallowed, my throat dry. My voice was a little hoarse. Congratulations on your engagement, Terry.

His expression instantly morphed into one of terror. Audrey Walker, youre just going to push me onto another woman?

Terrys accusation sounded like a joke. I put down my cup, stood up, and started to leave. He grabbed my wrist, his grip alarmingly strong.

Audrey Walker, why are you so calm? Five years! We were together for five years! Just because of Scarlett, youre throwing it all away?

I looked at his bloodshot eyes and suddenly felt absurd. Because of Scarlett?

Terry, even now, you still think the problem is Scarlett. I slowly peeled his fingers off my wrist, one by one. Weve broken up. Dont come looking for me again.

I picked up my bag and pushed open the caf door.

Audrey! he called from behind me, his voice laced with a rare panic. What if I make her leave? What if I make sure she never appears in front of you again? Can we still

I stopped, but didnt turn around. Its too late. From the moment you told her the code, from the moment she walked into that house, everything was too late.

I walked away decisively, yet the words getting engaged still pricked me painfully.