He Thinks I Can Not Hear

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My childhood best friend, Roman, has always been the internets favorite Gentle God. That was until I took off my hearing aids and a cascade of glowing digital comments suddenly began scrolling across my vision.

[Lord, this man is such a good actor. Is he really taking advantage of the fact that our girl cant hear?]?[The Oscar wasnt a fluke. A saint in the streets, a total beast in the sheetsor at least in his head.]?[Run, honey! Hes literally planning to lock you away!]

I stared at the floating text, my mind racing. Instead of panicking, I reached into my pocket and slid in a pair of high-end, near-invisible hearing aids Id been testing.

Then, I watched him. With the most tender, devastatingly handsome expression on his face, he leaned in and whispered:

"If you keep looking at me like that, Im going to kiss you until youre breathless, okay?"

I nodded instinctively.

In that heartbeat, the Gentle Gods mask shattered. And the comments? They went absolutely nuclear.

Late at night, the moment I removed my devices, the glowing words flickered into existence again.

[Ugh, my poor baby. She really thinks this guy is some kind of selfless saint.]?[Cant blame her. Hes an A-lister for a reason. His acting is textbook perfection.]?[Hes only this bold because he thinks shes in a world of silence. This man is a red flag!]?[Roman, chill! Have some mercy!]

I stared at the fading text, paralyzed.

The comments were saying... Roman was playing me?

That didn't make sense. Roman had been the one constant in my life. He was the person who cared for me more than anyone else in the world.

Our families were old friends; Roman and I had been inseparable since we were in diapers.

When we were kids, he used to follow me around, puffing out his chest and promising to be "my ears." He had the patience of a saint. He would meticulously clean my cochlear implant and sit with me for hours, testing the signal over and over.

Sometimes, when the equipment glitched, Id have to rely on lip-reading. But Roman spoke fasttoo fast for me to catch everything. Id just shake my head, feeling stupid.

Hed fix the device, tuck it gently back into place, and wait until the world rushed back in before speaking in that clear, melodic voice of his.

"Better? Can you hear me now?"

Id nod and mutter a thank you. Hed usually look away then, clearing his throat awkwardly.

My ears always felt a bit sensitive right after putting them back in, so once the static settled, Id ask, "Roman, what were you saying just now?"

His answer was always the same: "Nothing. Just nonsense. Its probably better you didn't hear it."

Our relationship hadn't always been smooth sailing.

In elementary school, I thought he was a nuisancetoo bossy, too overprotective. Then came middle school, that brutal gauntlet of puberty. My classmates realized I was "different." They figured out that if they pulled my devices, I became slow, vulnerable. I couldn't hear their insults, but I could feel their cruelty.

I became the "safe" target.

Once, during P.E., someone intentionally slammed into me, knocking me down and ripping the processor from my head.

Loner. Freak. Mute.

I could see their mouths twisting into the shapes of those words. Without sound, the world was terrifyingly, suffocatingly quiet.

I didn't even notice Roman until he was standing behind me.

Suddenly, the bullies' faces went pale. They looked at something behind me with pure terror before scurrying away like rats. Warm hands covered my ears, and Roman carefully fitted my device back on.

The sound of the wind flooded back, followed by his voice.

"What did they say?" I asked, though I already knew.

Roman stared at me for a long time before answering. "They were complimenting you. They said youre the prettiest girl in school."

I rolled my eyes. "Roman, do I look like Im five?"

He just shrugged, his expression dead serious. "Im not lying. Really."

After that day, no one touched me. Roman had spent his after-school hours "educating" the ringleaders one by one. My parents got the administration involved, too. From then on, the bullies didn't just stop; they treated me like I was radioactive.

The first time Roman took my hearing aids off without warning was graduation day.

The air was thick with the scent of cheap cologne and nervous energy. Everyone was using the chaos to confess their secret crushes. I was standing in the crowd, feeling a bit lost, when I saw a boy from my English class walking toward me, his face a bright, frantic red.

Roman was faster.

He reached out and plucked the devices from my ears. Silence crashed over me, and I flinched, pulling back. But when I looked up, I was caught in the depths of Romans dark eyes.

He held the devices in his palm and signed to me:

There was a petal caught in the casing.?Ill get it out for you.

I watched the English class boy walk away, his shoulders slumped in defeat. Only then did Roman hand my world back to me.

"Don't do that without asking," I snapped, my heart still racing. "It scares me."

Roman looked down, his jaw tight. "I know. Sorry."

I glanced sideways, trying to find the boy. "Was someone looking for me?"

Roman gave me a sharp, sour look. "You really want to know?"

I shook my head. "Not really." I mumbled, "If it was important, hed say it again. If he didn't, it probably didn't matter."

Only then did Romans expression soften. "Exactly. It didn't matter."

Eventually, Roman entered the industry.

With his family connections and raw talent, he was an A-lister by twenty-four, an Oscar in his hand and the world at his feet. He was constantly busy, flying between sets and premieres, but he always made time for me.

Every time he came home, he brought the latest, most expensive hearing tech.

"Try these?"

Hed remove my old ones and slide the new ones in.

"You mentioned the red ones were hurting your cartilage after a few hours, right?"

During those seconds of silence, Id watch his perfect lips move. I had no idea what he was saying. Then, the cold plastic would click into place.

"Maisie, look at me. Can you hear me?"

Id look up at him and nod slowly. Hed smilethat soft, devastating smile that made millions of women screamand twirl a lock of my hair around his finger.

"You're so busy," I said once. "Why do you waste your energy on this?"

Roman shook his head. "Whenever a new model comes out, I send your specs to the specialists. Maybe one day, theyll find a permanent fix."

I looked down, a familiar pang of disappointment in my chest. "Its not fixable, Roman. Don't waste your money."

But he took my face in his hands, his grip firm, almost stubborn.

"If it can't be fixed, then Ill buy you hearing aids for the rest of your life."

"Maisie, youre stuck with me. Youll always have to rely on me."

Id known Roman too long to believe those digital comments.

How could someone act for twenty years? It wasn't possible. But curiosity is a persistent itch.

The next time Roman came over, I wore a pair of tiny, near-invisible hearing aids Id bought myself.

The room was quiet. I could hear the soft scuff-scuff of Roman cleaning the new equipment with a microfiber cloth. Then, his hands were on me, fitting the new devices.

Thats when I realized: it wasn't that the equipment was faulty. It was that Roman never turned them on immediately after putting them in.

He intentionally created a "window of silence."

I was about to reach up and tell him they were off when his voice drifted through my hidden earpieces.

It was exactly what the comments had warned me about.

Roman was smiling at methat sunny, gentle smile. But the words coming out of his mouth were cold enough to make me shiver.

"Why are you being so restless today, Maisie?"

His face was a mask of warmth, but his tone was dangerous.

"So many little movements. Are you asking for trouble?"

Thinking I was deaf to him, he let the mask slip for a fraction of a second. His features sharpened, revealing something dark, obsessive, and brooding. Id known him nearly twenty years, and Id never seen this man.

Terrified, I swallowed hard. As he adjusted the fit, I instinctively shook my head.

I wanted to see how far hed go.

A moment later, Roman leaned into my ear.

"Maisie, if you keep looking at me like that, Im going to kiss you until youre breathless, okay, baby?"

His eyes dragged across my lips, dark and hungry. My brain felt like it was short-circuiting. My breathing hitched. In a moment of pure, panicked reflex, I looked him right in the eye and gave a firm, slow nod.

Roman froze. His pupils blown wide.

I froze, too.

The floating comments in front of my eyes went into a frenzy:

[HOLY CRAP! SHE HEARD HIM! SHE NODDED!]?[ABORT MISSION! THE MASK IS GONE!]?[Look at his face! Hes going to lose it! Hahahaha!]