When She Stopped Looking Back

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The day I brought an umbrella to my boyfriend Alexander, I discovered I was nothing but his poor girlfriend used to provoke the woman he truly loved.

I'm only pretending to be poor with Lynn because Victoria found herself some broke boyfriend to spite me.

Love her? Fuck off. A poor woman like that isn't worthy of me.

Two years together, working three jobs to support him. Turned out I was just a cheap toy to make his true love jealous.

That night, I signed the agreement to serve as a volunteer doctor in the border conflict zone.

Between gunfire and death, I carved him out of my heart completely.

Three years later, I returned home as the youngest director of cardiothoracic surgery.

When he knelt at the airport, crying and begging me to come back, I held my new lover's hand and smiled coldly.

"Alexander, didn't we settle everything long ago?"

Lynn's POV

In my supervisor's office, only the soft hum of the air conditioner broke the silence.

I stared at the liability waiver on the desk. Without even blinking, I signed my name without hesitation.

"I won't back out. Half a month from now, I'll depart on time."

Walking out of the hospital, the stifling summer wind hit my face.

I looked down at the simple silver ring on my ring finger and pulled my lips into a self-mocking smile.

When I returned to our rental apartment, less than three hundred square feet with barely functioning AC, Alexander Blackwood was cooking pasta in the narrow kitchen.

He wore a faded white T-shirt. His broad shoulders tapered to a narrow waist, and his profile looked especially gentle under the dim yellow light.

Hearing the door open, he turned around. His eyes lit up as he walked out carrying two plates of pasta.

"You're back? Got paid from my part-time job today, so I bought you your favorite cake."

I looked at the cake on the table, packed in a cheap paper bag.

"Thanks, but I don't feel like eating it right now."

Alexander wiped his hands and walked over, habitually pulling me into his embrace. His chin rested in the hollow of my neck, his voice low and slightly pleading.

"What's wrong? Tough day at the hospital? Once I graduate and get a permanent position, you won't have to work so hard. I promised I'd buy you a big house and marry you properly."

If this had been three days ago, hearing those words would have made my eyes water with emotion. I would have hugged him back and told him I didn't mind the hardship.

But now, I only felt nausea churning in my stomach.

Three days ago, I went to deliver an umbrella to him at his part-time job at an upscale club, walking through the rain.

In the underground parking garage, I saw Alexander, the same man who claimed he couldn't afford taxis and rode the bus with me every day, climbing into a multi million dollar sports car.

The window was half-down. His rich-kid friends laughed without restraint, their voices echoing through the empty garage.

"Mr. Blackwood, how long are you going to keep up this 'poor student' act? Living in that cramped apartment with that broke girl every day. Doesn't it hurt your image?"

Alexander held a cigarette between his lips, his expression lazy and cold. The smoke rings he blew obscured his refined features.

"Victoria hasn't broken up with Lucas Ford yet. I need something to do in the meantime."

"True. If Victoria hadn't decided to date some commoner to 'experience life,' the richest guy in our circle wouldn't have gotten petty enough to find himself a poor girl. But that Lynn sure is gullible. She actually believes Alexander could be interested in her. Working three jobs every day to support you. That's priceless."

The rain was heavy that day. I stood in it for a long time. I don't even remember when I dropped the umbrella.

So our two year relationship was nothing but a cheap game, one man's way of provoking his childhood sweetheart.

What I thought was salvation was just a joke in everyone else's eyes, one they could end whenever they wanted.

I closed my eyes and pushed myself out of Alexander's embrace.

"I'm a bit tired. I'll take a shower first."

Alexander looked at his empty arms, his brow furrowing almost imperceptibly.

He walked to the table and picked up his phone. The screen lit up.

It was a message.

I happened to see the screen from where I stood.

"Alexander, thank you for the necklace you gave me today. I love it."

Sender: Victoria Sterling.

Alexander quickly swiped the message away and looked up in my direction. He smiled awkwardly.

"Work message."

I nodded without saying anything and went into the bathroom.

Lynn's POV

Water rushed in the bathroom.

I stood under the shower head, letting cold water wash over my body.

I didn't cry. My tears had already run dry in that heavy rain three days ago.

Now I was terrifyingly clear-headed.

After my shower, I dried my hair with a towel while handing Alexander his phone that he'd left on the sink.

"Your phone vibrated just now."

Looking at me, Alexander's Adam's apple bobbed.

He casually tossed the phone onto the bed, then stepped forward and pressed me against the closet. His hot breath fell on my neck as the ambiguous atmosphere rapidly heated up in the cramped room.

"Lynn..."

He called my name in a low voice, his hand wandering up along my waist.

My stomach turned with physiological revulsion again. I pressed down on his wandering hand at my waist.

"I'm not feeling well today. I don't want to."

Alexander's movements froze.

This unexpected rejection left him somewhat stunned.

After all, in the past, no matter how tired I was, as long as he wanted it, I would cooperate with flushed cheeks.

I looked at him and repeated myself. Only then did he suppress the heat in his body and obediently fetch the hairdryer to dry my hair.

"Okay, let's rest early tonight then."

After tidying up, we lay in bed. Alexander habitually hugged me from behind and said softly,

"Good night."

I stared at the mottled wall with my eyes open, not responding.

A dreamless night.

The next morning, the sound of me rummaging through things woke Alexander.

I was throwing things into a large black garbage bag.

Matching mugs, matching toothbrushes, the cheap stuffed animals he'd given me, even his old shirts... Everything I had once treasured.

Alexander woke with a start and sat up abruptly.

"Lynn, what are you doing? None of this is broken. Why are you throwing it all away?"

"These things are old and taking up space, so I want to get rid of them."

I didn't even look up.

"I'll buy new ones later."

Alexander froze for a moment, then walked over and ruffled my hair.

"Okay, I'll buy you a better set when I get paid next month."

I didn't dodge his hand, just pulled my lips into a slight smile without speaking.

I carried the garbage bag outside. As soon as I reached downstairs, the landlord called.

"Why the sudden move? Did you have a fight with your boyfriend? He works odd jobs for you every day, runs over ten miles in the dead of winter to buy you cake. Such a good guy. Don't be foolish!"

Listening to the landlord's advice, I laughed coldly.

Yes, what a great performance. Even the observers were moved, let alone someone in the middle of it all.

"There's no future for him and me. Please process the move-out paperwork. I don't need the deposit back."

I hung up and returned home. Alexander was changing clothes.

Just then, Alexander's phone rang.

A few seconds later, Victoria's tearful voice echoed clearly in the quiet room.

"Alexander, my stomach hurts so much... Lucas won't help me..."

Just one sentence, and Alexander, who moments ago had looked so tender, completely changed expression.

He grabbed his jacket, not even bothering to make up a decent excuse, and rushed toward the door.

"Lynn, my professor suddenly needs me for something urgent. I have to go back to campus. Eat without me today."

I stood there, watching his panicked retreating figure, and spoke.

"Is it your professor looking for you, or Victoria?"

Alexander's steps stopped abruptly.

Lynn's POV

The air seemed to freeze in that instant.

Alexander turned around. A flash of barely concealed panic crossed his eyes, but he quickly regained his composure.

He walked back, gripping my shoulders with both hands, his tone carrying helplessness and reproach.

"Lynn, what are you talking about? Victoria is Lucas Ford's girlfriend. What could I possibly have with her? It really is my professor. There's an urgent issue with the project."

When he lied, his eyes always habitually focused on the tip of my nose.

I used to think this showed his concentration. Now I knew it was proof of his guilt.

"Really?"

I looked straight into his eyes, not missing the evasiveness in their depths.

"But I just heard her voice."

Alexander's expression stiffened. Then he sighed and pulled me into his arms.

"You heard wrong. Lynn, have you been too tired lately? You're always so paranoid. Once I finish with this busy period, I'll take you out to relax, okay?"

He was always like this. Using the gentlest tone to push all the blame onto me.

I didn't struggle, letting him hold me.

"Okay, go ahead. Don't keep your 'professor' waiting."

Alexander breathed a sigh of relief, dropped a hasty kiss on my forehead, turned and quickly left the apartment.

The moment the door closed, I took out my phone and looked at the date circled in red on the calendar.

Fourteen days until departure.

That afternoon, I received an unexpected call. It was from Victoria.

"Lynn, I'm having a birthday party tonight at 'Nightshade.' Alexander will be there too. If you know what's good for you, come see for yourself and recognize your place."

The voice on the other end was arrogant and full of malice.

I was about to hang up, but then thought better of it and replied with one word: "Okay."

At eight PM, at the most exclusive private club "Nightshade."

I wore a plain white shirt and jeans, completely out of place among the wealthy heirs surrounding me. As soon as I walked in, I attracted quite a few contemptuous stares.

Victoria wore a haute couture gown. Like a proud princess, she stood in the center of the crowd on her boyfriend Lucas's arm, smiling radiantly. And Alexander, wearing that faded cheap casual outfit, stood not far away, his gaze glued to Victoria the entire time.

Seeing me appear, a triumphant gleam flashed through Victoria's eyes.

She deliberately pulled Lucas over to Alexander and said coyly, "Lucas, I'm thirsty."

Before Lucas could move, Alexander had already reflexively picked up a glass of juice and handed it over.

The people around burst into laughter.

"Mr. Blackwood's service attitude is even more professional than the waiters."

"Well, it depends on who it's for."

Only then did Alexander seem to wake from a dream. He jerked his hand back, his expression ugly.

He turned his head and met my gaze directly.

Panic flashed through his heart. He strode over and grabbed my wrist.

"Why did you come? This isn't a place you should be. Let me take you home."

"Let go."

I looked at him.

Just then, a server wheeled over a massive multi-tiered cake.

As Victoria was cutting the cake, whether intentionally or not, her foot twisted. Her whole body lurched forward, and the wine glass in her hand flew straight at me.

Almost instinctively, Alexander shoved me aside and rushed forward to catch Victoria.

"Victoria! Are you burned?"

He held Victoria tightly, the concern and heartache in his eyes impossible to hide. Even his voice trembled.

Meanwhile, I fell hard onto the floor covered in broken glass. The one he'd violently pushed aside.

Sharp glass shards pierced my palm. Blood immediately welled up, staining the white sleeve of my shirt.

The surroundings instantly quieted. Everyone looked at me sitting in a pool of blood with eyes full of mockery.

Lynn's POV

Piercing pain shot through my palm, but I didn't even furrow my brow.

I looked at the two people embracing tightly not far away and suddenly found the scene absurdly comical.

Lucas walked forward with a cold expression and yanked Victoria out of Alexander's arms.

"Alexander, you're overstepping. Victoria is my girlfriend."

Alexander's hand froze in mid-air. Only then did he snap back to reality.

He turned around and saw me sitting in a pool of blood. His face instantly turned deathly pale.

"Lynn!"

He rushed over in a panic, trying to help me up.

"I'm sorry, I was too anxious just now. I didn't mean to push you..."

I avoided his outstretched hand and pushed myself up from the floor using my uninjured left hand.

Blood dripped from my fingertips onto the carpet, one drop at a time, shocking to see.

I didn't cry or make a scene. I didn't even ask a single question.

I just looked at Alexander calmly.

"It's okay."

I smiled slightly.

"After all, she's more delicate."

Alexander's expression was terrible. An unprecedented sense of panic was written all over his face.

"Lynn, let me explain. I just-"

"I'm going to the restroom to take care of this."

I interrupted him, turned, and walked toward the restroom.

Cold water rushed over the wound, washing out the glass fragments. The pain was excruciating.

I looked at my pale face in the mirror and couldn't help but curl my lips into a cold smile.

The sound of high heels clicked behind me.

Victoria stood behind me at some point, arms crossed, smiling wickedly and triumphantly.

"Lynn, you're so pitiful."

Victoria looked at my bleeding hand, her eyes full of mockery.

"Do you think Alexander really loves you? He's just using you to make me jealous. As long as I crook my finger, he'll crawl back to me like a dog anytime. You're nothing but a cheap toy he uses to kill time."

I turned off the faucet and pulled some paper towels to methodically wipe the blood from my hand.

I turned around and looked at Victoria through the mirror.

"Is that so?"

I smiled slightly.

"Then I wish you both, the bitch and the dog, eternal happiness. I don't want this pile of trash anymore. If you like picking through garbage, keep it and play with it slowly."

Victoria was infuriated. She raised her hand to slap me.

"You bitch, how dare you insult me?!"

I grabbed her wrist and flung it away hard. Victoria staggered backward several steps, nearly falling.

"Miss Sterling, don't dirty your haute couture."

I glanced at her and left the restroom without looking back.

It was pouring rain outside. I didn't have an umbrella and didn't wait for Alexander. I walked alone into the rain.

The rainwater washed over my wound, but it made me feel more clear-headed than ever.

At two in the morning, Alexander burst into the apartment, soaking wet.

Seeing me sitting on the sofa, panic flashed through his eyes. He rushed over and hugged me tightly, his voice trembling.

"Lynn, I'm sorry. I looked everywhere for you... I just saw she was about to fall and it was instinct. Please don't be angry with me, okay? How's your hand? Let me take you to the hospital..."

I let him hold me.

"Alexander."

I spoke softly.

"Do you think I'm really easy to fool?"

Alexander's body stiffened.

"What... do you mean?"

"Nothing."

I closed my eyes and gently pushed him away.

"I'm tired. Let's sleep."

Thirteen days until departure.

Lynn's POV

Ten days until departure.

The gauze on my hand had been changed three times. Alexander's performance had lasted three days.

During these three days, he canceled all his "part-time jobs" and stayed in the apartment like a child who'd done something wrong.

He cooked for me in various ways, even clumsily following online tutorials to make bone broth.

"Lynn, does your hand still hurt?"

Alexander brought the soup to the bedside, his eyes full of careful flattery.

I leaned against the headboard, looking at his flawless face, only feeling it was utterly unfamiliar.

"It doesn't hurt anymore."

I didn't take the bowl of soup.

"Just leave it. I don't have an appetite."

Alexander's hand froze in mid-air, panic flashing through his eyes.

He set down the bowl and pulled an exquisite velvet box from his pocket. He opened it.

Inside lay a star-shaped necklace.

"Lynn, I saved up two months of salary to buy this for you. You've always wanted a necklace, right?"

He looked at me with expectant eyes.

I looked at the necklace.

Crude workmanship, cheap rhinestones. Even the clasp gleamed with cheap metallic luster.

Just yesterday, I'd seen an identical necklace on Victoria's Instagram.

Except the one around Victoria's neck was a globally limited edition from a luxury brand, outrageously expensive.

He gave the expensive genuine article to someone else, while using a cheap knockoff to placate me.

"Thank you, I really like it."

I didn't expose him. I just calmly accepted the box and casually set it on the nightstand.

Seeing me accept it, Alexander breathed a long sigh of relief and pulled me into his arms.

"Lynn, once I graduate, let's get married. I'll treat you well for the rest of my life."

I let him hold me, my chin resting on his shoulder.

"Okay."

I said softly.

"I'll wait for you."

Just then, Alexander's phone on the table started vibrating.

His body stiffened. He quickly released me, grabbed his phone, glanced at it, and his expression changed.

"Lynn, my professor suddenly needs me to verify some data urgently. I have to go to the lab."

As he spoke, he hurriedly put on his jacket.

I watched his retreating figure without trying to stop him. I just nodded.

"Go ahead. Be careful on the road."

The moment the door closed, I took out my phone and opened a post Victoria had made five minutes ago.

In the photo, Victoria wore a hospital gown with an IV in her hand. The caption read:

"Sick, and only you're willing to drop everything to be with me."

In the corner of the photo was a glimpse of a man's sleeve.

It was the faded white T-shirt Alexander had changed into before leaving this morning.

Five days until departure.

Today was the two-year anniversary of Alexander and me being together.

Before leaving this morning, Alexander solemnly promised he would definitely come home early tonight and take me to that private restaurant in the south part of town that I loved.

"Lynn, wait for me tonight. I have something very important to give you."

He kissed my forehead, his eyes so affectionate they could drown someone.

I looked at him and just smiled slightly.

"Okay."

That afternoon, I went to the bank and calculated every penny Alexander had "borrowed" from me or spent on me over the past two years, with interest, and deposited it all onto a new card.

A total of three thousand four hundred fifty dollars.

That was all the money that man had ever spent on me.

At seven PM, I sat in that restaurant, watching the food on the table gradually grow cold, calmly sipping lemon water.

Eight o'clock. Alexander didn't appear.

Nine o'clock. His phone was unreachable.

Ten o'clock. The restaurant closed and the staff apologetically asked me to leave.

I paid the bill and walked alone in the cold late autumn wind. My phone suddenly vibrated. It was a picture message from an unknown number.

In the photo was an extremely luxurious rooftop restaurant.

Victoria wore an elaborate gown, holding a large bouquet of red roses, her face full of shy smiles.

Standing opposite her was Alexander in a haute couture suit.

Below the photo was a single line:

"Lynn, he's proposing tonight, but not to you."

I looked at the screen without my breathing even faltering.

I casually deleted the message and blocked the number.

When I returned to the apartment, it was past eleven at night.

The room was pitch black. I turned on the light and began packing the last of my luggage.

Clothes, documents, a few medical books. One suitcase contained my entire life here.

At two in the morning, the door lock turned.

Alexander stumbled in, reeking of alcohol and perfume.

Seeing me sitting on the sofa, he froze, then overwhelming guilt flooded his eyes.

"Lynn... I'm sorry..."

Lynn's POV

He walked over, trying to hug me, but I dodged to the side.

He missed and collapsed onto the sofa, covering his face in pain.

"There was a major problem with the lab data. The professor was furious and kept me there the whole time... My phone died too..."

He was still lying.

I looked down at him from above, looking at this man I had once loved with all my heart and eyes, and suddenly felt unbearably sad.

"Alexander."

I interrupted his rambling.

"Were you really at the lab today?"

Alexander's whole body shook. He jerked his head up. His bloodshot eyes flashed with extreme panic.

"I... of course I was..."

"Fine."

I didn't press further. I turned and walked back to the bedroom.

"Get some sleep."

One day until departure.

The apartment had been cleaned completely.

All my personal belongings, except for that one suitcase, were gone.

Alexander had been in a state of extreme anxiety these past few days.

He'd sensed the change in me.

To keep me, he even went so far as to buy a real diamond ring.

"Lynn, let's get married."

In the cramped living room, Alexander knelt on one knee, holding up that expensive diamond ring, his eyes burning and crazed.

"Tomorrow we'll go register our marriage. I don't care about graduating anymore. I want to marry you right now."

I looked at that ring flashing with blinding light, then looked at the oxidized, blackened silver ring on my own finger.

"Okay."

I extended my hand.

"Nine o'clock tomorrow morning. I'll meet you at City Hall."

Alexander slipped the ring onto my ring finger and hugged me tightly.

"Lynn, I swear I'll never let you suffer the slightest grievance again!"

However, his phone in his pocket rang with a piercing tone.

It was Lucas calling.

Alexander answered. His face instantly turned deathly pale.

"Alexander, Victoria slit her wrists! She's in the ER! She's been clutching that necklace you gave her the whole time!"

Alexander's body froze violently. His phone nearly slipped from his hand.

He shot to his feet and rushed toward the door like a madman, not even grabbing his jacket.

At the doorway, he suddenly stopped and looked back at me sitting on the sofa.

"Lynn, I..."

His voice was shaking, his eyes full of conflict.

"Go."

I sat in the shadows, smiling self-mockingly.

"After all, in your heart, she's the most important one."

"I'll be right back! Tomorrow morning at nine, I'll definitely be at City Hall on time!"

Alexander looked at me deeply, then turned and rushed into the night.

The door closed.

I slowly removed the diamond ring from my ring finger and threw it into the trash along with the old silver ring.

I stood up and pressed a bank card and a letter under the water glass on the table.

Then, dragging my suitcase, I walked out of this prison that had confined me for two years without looking back.

No tears, no hysteria.

Only complete liberation.

Seven AM, international airport.

I changed into the medical team's uniform.

"Dr. Lynn, we're ready to board."

The team leader called to me from a distance.

"Coming."

I took out my phone and sent Alexander that photo of him and Victoria at the rooftop restaurant proposal scene.

The message contained only one brief sentence:

"Game over. I wish you and Miss Sterling eternal happiness."

After sending it, I removed the SIM card, snapped it in half, and threw it into a nearby trash can.

I turned and strode toward security without ever looking back.