You Never Held My Hand

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My name is Ophelia Sullivan.

I used to think my marriage to Carson Johnson would be stable for life.

Until that sudden car accident.

Carson Johnson injured his spine.

The doctor said he can never do heavy physical work again.

I didn't hesitate for a second; I quit my job.

From then on, my whole life was devoted to taking care of Carson Johnson.

Day after day passed, and the entire burden at home fell on me.

That day, I was carrying a storage box full of clothes, trying to put it on the top shelf of the wardrobe.

The box was too heavyI couldn't hold itand I shouted towards Carson.

He was sitting on the sofa watching TV, not even looking up.

"My spine hurts. I can't move." His voice was ice-cold.

Gritting my teeth, I forced the box up, my back aching and tingling, but inside, I felt even colder than my body.

This kind of rejection wasn't the first time.

There were no lights in the stairwell from the seventh floor down to the sixth.

Carrying the groceries I'd just bought, my foot slipped, and I tumbled down, my knee hitting the step with a sharp, burning pain.

The groceries scattered everywhere, and the tomatoes rolled far away.

Carson Johnson heard the noise, came downstairs, saw me lying on the floor, but didn't help me up.

"Why are you so slow?" He frowned, his tone full of complaint, "You're holding up my dinner."

I gritted my teeth through the pain and got up, quietly tidying up the mess on the floor.

In that moment, it felt like the distance between us was even greater than the rise of the stairs.

On the day of the family dinner, all the relatives were there.

The table was too bigI couldn't reach the dish on the other side.

"Carson, could you pass me that dish?" I asked softly.

He put down his chopsticks and pressed his hand to his waist.

"No, my spine suddenly hurts a lot." He smiled at the relatives, saying, "The doctor told me I'm not supposed to bend over like that."

His cousin beside him tried to reach out to help, but he stopped her with a look.

"Let her do it herself. Don't spoil her." He said.

I froze on the spot, feeling the strange looks from the relatives around me.

Later, I found out I was pregnant.

The arrival of this child rekindled my hope.

I thought the responsibility of becoming a father would make Carson Johnson treat me better.

At eight months pregnant, my belly was already very big.

That day, while mopping the floor, my foot slipped on some water, I lost my balance, and fell to the floor.

Fear seized me in an instant.

I instinctively called out Carson Johnson's name, my voice breaking with tears.

He was in the bedroom playing games; hearing the noise, he stuck his head out.

"What are you yelling for?" He frowned impatiently. "Get up yourself. How am I supposed to help you?"

He just stood there at the door, watching me lie motionless on the floor.

A sharp pain shot through my abdomen; I could feel something draining from my body.

Tears streaming, I begged him to take me to the hospital.

He dawdled finishing the game, then sluggishly called for emergency help.

I lost the baby.

The doctor said if we had gotten to the hospital even a little earlier, there might still have been a chance.

I lay in the hospital bed, feeling utterly hopeless.

After being discharged, I felt like my soul had left me.

That day, an old colleague sent me a video.

It was from the amusement park's fireworks show.

In the video, the fireworks blazed brilliantly while the crowd buzzed with noise.

Right in the center of the frame was Carson Johnson.

He was carefully carrying a young woman, with a tenderness on his face I'd never seen before.

That woman was his company's new assistant, Yolanda Xavier.

Yolanda wrapped her arms around his neck, laughing so joyfully her whole body trembled.

Carson Johnson's hands held her legs firmly and steadily, showing no sign of strain.

He even deliberately swayed her a little, making Yolanda burst out laughing.

The video wasn't long, but it felt like a sharp knife, piercing through all my defenses.

It's not that he can't bear the pain, can't bend down, or can't use strength.

He just won'twon't give even the slightest effort for me.

So all those spine pains were just excuses he used to brush me off.

I watched his tender gaze in the video and suddenly laughed. Then, as I laughed, tears wouldn't stop streaming down.

This marriage has been dead since the day of the car accident.

I was just too foolish, lying to myself all this time.

My child's body was lying at the funeral home.

So small, wrapped in white cloth.

I sat beside it, stroking that fabric again and again, as if I could still feel the faint warmth left by my child.

Carson Johnson stood not far away, looking down at his phone with not a hint of sorrow on his face.

Suddenly, his phone rang.

He saw the caller ID, his eyes lit up, and he immediately answered.

"Hello, Yolanda?" His voice was so gentle it could drip water, completely different from before. "What's wrong? Missing me?"

I didn't hear what was said on the other end, but I saw him nod repeatedly, his tone full of affection.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming right now."

After hanging up, he grabbed his coat and started to leave.

"Carson!" I called out hoarsely. "Where are you going?"

He paused, glanced back at me, his eyes filled with impatience.

"Yolanda has something going on; I'll be right back."

"What could be more important than our child?" I stood up, tears blurring my vision. "This is your child! How can you be so cold-hearted?"

"Ophelia, stop making such a fuss." He frowned. "Yolanda is out there alone, and I'm worried."

With that, he left without looking back.

The funeral home's door closed, leaving just me and the cold body inside.

In the empty room, only my sobs echoed.

After who knows how long, someone knocked on the door.

I thought it was Carson coming back, so I quickly wiped my tears away.

I opened the doorit was Yolanda.

She held two tickets to the Amusement Park, a taunting smile on her face.

"Ophelia, these are the tickets Carson and I are using to go to the amusement park." She held the tickets right in front of me.

"He said he told you he'd be spending today with me."

I looked at those two tickets, printed with cartoon characters, and my stomach flipped over.

So that's why he was in such a rush to leavehe was off to the amusement p ark with Yolanda.

While I was losing our child, broken and in agony, they were planning a date.

"Get out of here." I clenched my teeth and spoke each word slowly.

"Ophelia, don't be so harsh." Yolanda pretended to be hurt.

"Carson said his spine is a lot better now, all because I took good care of him. Unlike you, who just annoys him."

Her words stabbed straight into my heart.

Just then, Carson came back.

Seeing Yolanda, he immediately walked over and asked with concern, "Yolanda, she didn't give you a hard time, did she?"

"No, Carson." Yolanda shook her head but stole a glance at me, her eyes brimming with smug satisfaction.

"Carson," I looked at him, my heart completely dead, "Let's get a divorce."

Carson was stunned, clearly not expecting me to say that.

"Ophelia, have you made your point yet?" His expression darkened. "You want a divorce over something so small?"

"Something small?" I laughed, tears streaming down. "We lost our child, and standing by his body, you still thought about going to the amusement park with another woman. To you, that's just a small thing?"

"The child's gone, but it's not all my fault." He frowned, his voice heavy with evading responsibility.

"You were the one who carelessly fell, what does that have to do with me?"

"It has nothing to do with you?" I pointed at him, my voice trembling with anger.

"If you had reached out to help me back then, if you had taken me to the hospital sooner, would the child still have left me?"

"Carson, ask your own consciencehave you ever taken even the slightest responsibility for me or this child?"

"Ophelia, you're being unreasonable!" he snapped angrily. "Divorce thenwho's afraid of who?"

After saying that, he grabbed Yolanda Xavier and left without looking back.

I collapsed to the ground, staring at the child's lifeless body, and finally couldn't hold backI broke down crying.

This marriage, which had lasted three years, finally fell apart completely at that moment.

In the end, the divorce still had to go through legal procedures.

We agreed to go to court for mediation.

That day, I arrived early outside the courthouse.

Carson Johnson showed up very late, looking exhausted with faint dark circles under his eyes.

I knew he had probably stayed out late again with Yolanda Xavier.

Inside the mediation room, the judge patiently inquired about our situation.

I calmly recounted everythingfrom Carson Johnson's injury, to quitting my job to care for him, then the death of our child, and finally his relationship with Yolanda Xavier.

Carson Johnson kept his head down the entire time, occasionally offering a feeble retort.

Just as the judge was about to proceed with mediation, his phone rang.

Seeing the caller ID, his expression changed.

"Sorry, I have to take this call." He stood up, ignoring the judge's protests, and walked straight out of the mediation room.

I stayed where I was, watching his back, feeling absolutely nothing in my heart.

I saw this coming a long time ago.

After more than ten minutes, the judge came in and said Carson Johnson had already left, and asked us to reschedule.

I shook my head and said to the judge, "No need, Your Honor. I agree to the divorce. I don't want any of the propertyI just want to end this relationship as quickly as possible."

Stepping out of the court, my best friend Carrie Lawrence was waiting for me at the door.

Seeing me, she immediately came over and hugged me tightly.

"Ophelia, are you okay?"

I shook my head, but the tears wouldn't stop falling.

"I'm fine. I just feel... finally free."

Carrie Lawrence helped me find the best lawyer.

With her help, everything went very smoothly.

Carson Johnson never showed up; he just left it all to the lawyer.

Before long, I received the divorce mediation agreement.

Seeing the words "Divorce Approved" on the agreement, I let out a long, deep breath.

The heavy stone pressing down on my heart finally lifted.

Next came my child's burial.

I picked a cemetery with a beautiful view, hoping my child would rest there in peace.

On the day of the burial, it was only Carrie and me.

I held the child's urn, walking step by step up the hill.

The wind was strong, whipping my hair all over.

Just as we were about to place the urn into the grave, voices arguing came from a distance.

I looked back and saw Carson and Yolanda.

How did they get here?

"Stop it!" Carson frowned, trying to push her away. "This is my and Ophelia's child. I have to see him off one last time."

"I won't allow it!" Yolanda shot back. "If you still care about this child and Ophelia, then we're finished!"

The two of them struggled, pulling each other as they came toward us.

"Carson, let her go." I said coldly, "You're not welcome here."

"Ophelia, I'm the child's father. I have every right to bury him." Carson looked at me with a complicated expression.

"You don't deserve it." I clenched my teeth.

Suddenly, Yolanda rushed over and tried to snatch the urn from my hands.

"You stop pretending like you care here!" she snarled.

"Carson's mine now, and that b*stard doesn't deserve such a good spot!"

"Let go!" I clung to the urn, refusing to loosen my grip.

Carson Johnson tried to break us up but accidentally bumped into me.

The moment I loosened my hand, the urn slipped and fell to the ground.

With a sharp crack, the urn shattered.

White ashes spilled out, scattered by the wind, drifting everywhere.

"My child!" I screamed, crouching down, trying to gather the ashes with my hands.

But the wind was too strong, and the ashes scattered further and further.

Just then, a few wild dogs appeared out of nowhere, snatched the remaining ashes and torn cloth, and ran down the mountain.

"No!" I chased after him like a madwoman, but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't catch up.

Carrie held me tightly, not letting me run any further.

"Ophelia, stop chasing him. It's useless." Carrie's voice was trembling with tears.

I collapsed onto the ground, staring toward where the wild dog disappeared, my heart feeling like it was being ripped apart.

My child, in the end, didn't even have a proper place to rest.

Carson stood off to the side, his face ashen, eyes filled with shock and regret.

Yolanda was stunned too; she never expected things to turn out this way.

"It's all your fault!" I pointed at Yolanda, my voice hoarse, "You're the one who killed my child, you're the one who left him mutilated!"

Yolanda was startled and hid behind Carson.

Carson wanted to say something, but in the end, he said nothing. He grabbed Yolanda and left in a miserable state.

I lay on the ground, calling out the child's name again and again, tears mixing with dirt, smearing my face.

The sunlight was blinding, yet I felt like the entire world was cloaked in darkness.