Truth After My Death

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Drifting between life and death, I finally understood. I could hear my wife, Seraphina, and her lover, Rick, clearly now.

Rick was growing impatient. He wanted to know when shed tell me our son wasnt actually missing. He couldnt wait to see the look on my face.

But Sera just laughed. There was no hurry, she said. It was my fault for making her get rid of the baby years ago. This was my punishment. Shed tell me the truth once she decided Id learned my lesson.

So that was it. Four years of living hellnot a tragedy, but a sentence.

A spectral tear fell. Shed gotten exactly what she wanted.

It started four years ago. Id stepped out of the car for a minute during an argument. When I returned, our son was gone.

From then on, I lost my mind. I searched like a man possessed, drowning in guilt every waking moment.

Her mother blamed me endlessly. My own mother cried herself to sleep each night.

Sera would scream at me, telling me to die, swearing shed divorce me if I didnt find our boy.

For four years, I gave up everythingmy career, my life, my sanity. I chased 99 false leads across the country, each one carving away another piece of me. My body became a map of self-inflicted scars. Depression consumed me whole.

On the 100th lead, something inside me snapped. I couldnt go on. I swallowed a full bottle of sleeping pills.

I died in my sons nursery, wanting to be close to him in the end.

Seraphina opened the bedroom door, saw I wasn't there, and assumed I hadnt come home yet. She turned, pulling Rick with her, and they fell onto our bed.

Her voice was casual. He probably fell for another scam artist. God knows what ditch hes ended up in this time.

Rick roared with laughter.

It wouldnt be the first time. Ive never seen anyone so gullible. He believes anything anyone tells him.

Remember that time he ran off into the mountains? Nearly didnt make it back. When the cops found him, his clothes were torn and he was waving a knife around like a lunatic. There were three guys on the ground who knows what happened there.

At that, the temperature around Seraphina dropped. She shoved him away.

Rick knew hed said the wrong thing. He quickly wrapped his arms around her neck, kissing her skin.

Sorry, Sera. I wont talk about it. Its been so long

She flipped him onto his back, a wicked smile playing on her lips.

Dont think for a second Im jealous. I just cant stand how pathetic he is.

If he had just learned to look the other way back then, I never would have left him.

But he has a man's blood on his hands. He deserves every bit of this. He has no one to blame but himself.

With that, their clothes scattered to the floor.

On the bed where we had made love countless times, their bodies tangled together in a desperate heat.

I thought death was supposed to be the end of pain, but my heart felt like it was being pierced by a thousand needles.

I remembered it so clearly. She was the one on her knees, clinging to me.

Finn, please dont leave me. I was drunk, I thought he was you. Ill get rid of the baby, I swear. Just believe me.

But I couldn't forgive her. I insisted on a divorce.

She went insane, dragging Rick in front of me to apologize.

Then she went and had the abortion herself.

My resolve crumbled. After months of torment, I forgave her.

And my reward was being played for a fool for four years.

Their moans echoed through the house until the dead of night.

Finally, breathless, Seraphina seemed to remember me. She frowned, looking toward the front door.

Where the hell is Finn? Not even a text to say hes not coming home.

She picked up her phone and called me.

After a few seconds of silence, my phone began to ring, its shrill tone cutting through the house.

Seraphina froze, her head snapping toward the nursery.

A flicker of malicious glee crossed Ricks face, hidden behind a mask of pretend concern.

When did Finn get back? You think he heard us?

Seraphina threw on her clothes and stormed toward the nursery.

I floated behind them, watching her hesitate, her hand hovering over the doorknob.

Finally, with a creak, she pushed it open and walked to the bed.

I was curled up under the covers.

Her face flushed with anger. She thought I was ignoring her on purpose.

Finn, if you know, then theres no point in hiding it anymore.

Yes, I took Max. But you were the one who was wrong first.

She glanced at me, her voice flat.

As long as you dont make trouble, we can keep living like this.

The silence stretched on for a full minute.

Her expression soured. She let out a cold, sharp laugh.

Youre going to play dead with me? Fine. Lets see how long you can keep it up!

I watched her rage, her curses washing over me. I felt nothing.

I was almost curious to see the look on her face when she finally realized.

She slammed the door on her way out. But a few minutes later, she returned, holding the hand of a four-year-old boy.

My eyes flew open. It was him. It was my son, Max.

He had my eyes.

Tears streamed from my spectral form. I rushed forward to hold him, only to pass right through his small body.

Seraphinas voice was triumphant as she pushed him onto the bed.

I left him with my mother. Hes back now. Are you happy?

Then, she and Rick left again.

That monster. That absolute monster! Leaving a child this small alone!

In the pitch-black room, Max began to cry, his small sobs echoing in the silence.

My heart shattered. I tried to comfort him, my voice a useless whisper.

Max, dont cry, Max. Daddys here

But I was the fool. The living cant hear the dead.

Max curled up next to my body, eventually crying himself to sleep.

I watched him, my soul aching with a love so fierce it was agony. He had to be so scared, so hungry. Even in sleep, his face was a mask of pain.

I stayed by his side all night. The next morning, he sat up, rubbing his eyes.

His small voice was filled with panic.

Grandma? Where are you? Max is hungry

He looked at the unmoving lump of my body beside him.

After a moments hesitation, he whispered, Mister? Can you get up and find Max something to eat?

Max is a good boy. Just a little bit is okay.

After a long silence, he slid off the bed, his shoulders slumped.

He picked up a small bottle from the floor. My soul screamed. It was the bottle of sleeping pills. There were still a few left inside.

My heart leaped into my throat.

Maxs face lit up.

Candy!

He shook a few pills into his palm, then glanced back at my body.

Ill only eat three, mister, he bargained. Im so, so hungry.

He raised his hand to his mouth.

NO!

I shrieked, a useless, silent sound, rushing to stop him, but I was nothing but air.

The door flew open with a bang. It was Seraphina.

She saw what Max was doing and her eyes widened in horror.

She lunged forward, jamming her fingers into his mouth.

Spit it out! Spit it out right now!

Max started wailing, terrified.

Dont hit me! I wont do it again, Mommy, I promise!

Only when she was sure his mouth was empty did the color return to her face.

She looked at me, her eyes filled with disgust.

Before she could speak, Rick pointed an accusing finger.

Finn, what the hell is wrong with you? Hes just a kid! You could have killed him.

I know youre pissed that Sera took him, but you cant take it out on Max!

He spat his venom at me, and Seraphina just stood there, watching.

If they had just looked closer, they would have seen the waxy, yellow pallor of my skin, the faint, sweet smell of decay.

But my last hope was misplaced. After a few minutes, she picked up Max and walked out.

She took him to get lunch, but her mind was elsewhere.

She checked her phone. It had been nearly two days since we had last spoken.

A strange anxiety began to creep in.

I never gave her the silent treatment. I had told her once, If theres a problem, lets face it head-on. Dont run from it.

Even when Id caught her cheating, as broken as I was, I hadnt backed down.

A sudden, jarring thought hit her. Maybe something had actually happened to me.

She shot to her feet, muttering to herself.

Somethings not right. This isnt like him.

She turned to rush home, but Ricks voice stopped her.

I saw Finn get up to eat yesterday.

Seraphina paused, turning back slowly.

He got up yesterday?

Rick nodded, a sheepish look on his face.

Yeah. I tried to talk to him, but he just told me to get lost

Seraphinas face hardened into a mask of pure contempt.

She laughed twice, a harsh, grating sound, and sat back down.

I knew it. He was faking it. All that crap about loving his son was an act. He almost got Max killed!

I floated above them, a bitter laugh escaping my spectral lips. I wasn't faking it. I was really dead.

I looked at the triumphant smirk on Ricks face and wondered if hed still be smiling when the truth finally came out.

I drifted back to the house and kept watch over my own body for a few more hours.

My phone rang again. It was my mother.

She must have known something was wrong when I hadn't messaged her for two days.

She called three times. Then, silence.

Less than half an hour later, she was at the door, breathless and terrified.

She rushed straight to the master bedroom.

Finn? Finn!

Not finding me, she checked the guest room, and finally, the nursery.

AH! FINN!

Her scream tore through the quiet afternoon.

I couldnt bear to watch what came next.

My mothers sobs were a physical force, shaking the whole house as she rocked my lifeless body.

How could you leave me all alone! How am I supposed to live now!

A few hours later, she took me away.

When the door opened again, it was Seraphina, reeking of alcohol.

She pushed Rick away and stumbled toward the nursery.

Finn, you son of a bitch, how long are you going to play dead?!

She stopped short.

The bed was empty. I was gone.

Her heart gave a painful lurch.

A cold smile spread across her face. Couldnt keep up the act, huh? Decided to run away from home? Fine! Get the hell out and dont ever come back.

She collapsed onto the living room sofa.

Rick wrinkled his nose in disgust.

He could have at least cleaned up before he left. The whole place stinks. Its making me sick.

Seraphina didnt seem to hear him. A thought occurred to her. She went to our bedroom and yanked open the closet.

All of my clothes were still there.

She breathed a sigh of relief.

I thought he had some nerve. Didnt even pack a bag. He just wants me to come begging for him to come back. Ha. In his dreams.

Her mind at ease, she even had Rick move in.

Since he doesnt want this life, lets see how long he can last without it.

I watched it all, a ghost in my own home.

For the next few days, Seraphina partied, dragging Rick to every social event she could.

But she wasn't happy. A dark cloud seemed to hang over her, growing heavier each day.

Finally, on the seventh day of my disappearance, she broke.

She brought Max back to the house.

She opened my messaging app and ordered Max to record a voice note.

Max, terrified, wouldnt speak.

Her face darkened. Say it! she roared. Are you deaf? I told you to call for your daddy! Do you hear me?!

The boys fear peaked, and he burst into tears.

Rage consumed me. I wanted to tear her limb from limb. He was just a child. She would do anything to torment me.

Daddy Daddy, Daddy

She got what she wanted and sent the voice note.

Finn, do you even want your son anymore? What kind of father lets him cry like this?

Rick came over and put his arms around her. Dont be angry, Sera. If hes going to be like this, why do you even care? The man doesnt deserve to be a father.

Seraphina was silent for a long time, staring at her phone, which remained silent.

She couldnt take it anymore. She called me.

Once. Twice. Three times. Nothing.

With a crash, she threw her phone against the wall.

Rick was stunned. He couldnt understand why she was so furious.

Sera, the kids right here dont get so worked up. We can just get a divorce. Its not worth it.

The word divorce seemed to stab her. Her eyes turned red.

She started to laugh.

A divorce? And let him off that easy?

She took a deep breath, picked up the shattered phone, and dialed my mother.

After a long series of rings, my mother answered on the last one.

Before she could speak, Seraphina blurted out, Mom, where is Finn? I need to talk to him.

My mothers voice was a raw rasp, each word scraped from her throat.

You will never see him again in this life, you monster. I hope youre satisfied.

Seraphina froze. Before she could ask what she meant, the line went dead.

Her face flushed with rage.

She cursed, then typed a furious message to my dead number.

Finn, you want out? Fine. Ill give you what you want. Get your ass back here and Ill give you a goddamn divorce!

Still no reply.

Hearing the word divorce, Ricks face lit up. He rushed to the bedroom to find the paperwork.

But when he came back out, Seraphina was grabbing the still-sobbing Max and storming out the door.

Sera, where are you going?! Sera!

She peeled out of the driveway without a backward glance.

I floated into the back seat with Max, my soul consumed by hatred.

You bitch, where are you going in such a rush? You dont care if you crash, but what about my son?!

I soon saw her destination.

She stood on my mothers doorstep, panting, and began to hammer on the door.

Finn, open the door! I know youre in there! Stop being a coward! Say what you have to say to my face!

With a slow creak, the door opened.

Seraphina's angry expression hadn't had time to fade before it froze, replaced by a look of sheer, uncomprehending horror.