The Deadly Price of April Fool's Jokes

Start Reading

On April Fool's Day, an anonymous message hit everyone's phone simultaneously.

The bigger the joke you tell today, the more money you make.

A colleague casually teased me, Your shoelaces are untied.

The next second, his phone vibrated with a deafening chime.

Ding! 0-00,000 has been deposited into your account!

My boyfriend stood right in front of me and said, "I'm actually seeing your best friend."

Almost instantly, another chime followed. Ding! 0-000,000 has been deposited into your account!

The entire city went insane in an instant.

Some fabricated terminal illnesses, others faked their own deaths, and families turned against each other for a payout.

The more vicious the lie, the higher the bounty. Countless people became overnight millionaires through this system.

But I kept my mouth shut, refusing to utter a single word.

What they didn't know was that this wasn't a blessing.

It was a death warrant.

Every single joke would be repaid in blood, cent by cent, exactly at midnight.

In my past life, I was a professional stand-up comedian. I made a living out of spinning beautiful, elaborate lies.

I used the system to amass billions, standing at the pinnacle of wealth, thinking I had won the game of a lifetime.

But when the clock struck twelve, the jokes backfired. I died a gruesome death on the street.

When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the morning the April Fool's game began.

On April Fool's Day, just after nine in the morning, everyone's phone buzzed at once.

There was no sender, no source. A cold system pop-up hijacked every screen in the city.

The Prank System is now active. The bigger the prank, the higher the bounty.

Happy April Fool's Day, everyone. ^-^

At first, everyone treated it like a ridiculous scam. We tapped our screens, trying to swipe it away, not taking it seriously.

That was until Wade, a guy from the marketing department, turned to me. "Lydia, your shoelaces are untied."

I instinctively looked down at my feet.

I was wearing stilettos today. There wasn't a shoelace in sight.

The office erupted in laughter. People patted Wade on the shoulder, joking, "Nice try, Wade! You really thought she'd fall for that old trick?"

The next second, Wade's phone let out a sharp, piercing mechanical female voice that drowned out the laughter.

"Ding! Your joke was quite amusing! Congratulations! 0-00,000 has been deposited! Since this is your first success, your reward has been multiplied by ten!"

Notification sounds from bank apps began to chime across the room like a symphony.

The crowd, which had been skeptical a moment ago, was instantly set on fire.

My heart sank.

I knew that this carnival of death, disguised as an April Fool's prank, had begun once again.

Another colleague, Zack, suddenly grabbed our manager by the collar and roared.

"I saw you screwing the new intern in the breakroom last night! I saw everything!"

The manager froze, then reacted by slapping Zack across the face.

"Bullshit! You think I don't know you've been thirsting after my wife for years?"

Two sharp system chimes rang out almost simultaneously.

Ding! Your joke was hilarious! $5,000,000 has been deposited!

Ding! Your joke was even better! $6,000,000 has been deposited!

The office went completely feral.

More and more people began to figure out the rules.

The more vicious, the more scandalous, and the more disgusting the lie, the higher the payout.

No one cared about how cruel the jokes were anymore. No one thought any of this was absurd. They just felt that money was now easier to get than the air they breathed.

I quietly backed away toward the floor-to-ceiling window, distancing myself from this pack of wolves blinded by greed.

Looking down at the street, the entire city was falling into the same madness.

On the corner, a couple was screaming at each other, their eyes filled with nothing but lust for money.

The man yelled, "I never loved you! I only stayed with you to get close to your mother!"

The woman didn't back down. "Well, let me tell you somethingDthis baby I'm carrying is actually your father's!"

Ding! $8,000,000 has been deposited!

The sharp chimes echoed through every street and alley. Young and old alike were trapped in this frenzy.

I couldn't help but close my eyes in pain as memories of my past life rushed back like a tidal wave.

The agonizing pain of my death hadn't yet faded from my soul.

In my last life, I wasn't just an office clerk. I was a top-tier roast comic, famous across the internet for my sharp tongue.

Setting up punchlines and crafting 'offensive' jokes was my bread and butter.

Pranking people was second nature to me.

So, I had been just like these maniacs.

I earned billions through the system, thinking I was the smartest person in the room.

But at midnight, the settlement began.

Every joke turned into a vicious curse, recoiling on me with double the intensity.

I died in the gutter, my body torn apart.

The pain of being mangled by cars and disemboweled by the very words I spoke was still vivid in my mind.

This April Fool's celebration was just the foreplay.

The midnight settlement was the true purpose of this terrifying system.

And no one would escape.

The man who pushed his mother into traffic for a laugh died later that night, his skin rotting off while he was partying. He died like a monster in a dumpster.

The intern who cursed everyone for a high bounty was pulled into a factory grinder, turning into nothing but a puddle of blood.

This wasn't a wealth-building program. It was a blood contract.

"Oh, look at Lydia. Too busy daydreaming to make some real money with us?" A snide voice drifted over.

It was Vance, a colleague who had always been jealous of the money I made from my comedy gigs.

His account balance had already multiplied dozens of times, and he looked at me with pure disdain.

I didn't bother looking at him. I just replied coldly.

"No thanks. With your brain, even with a system, you probably won't earn enough to buy a soul."

"Stop acting so high and mighty! I bet you won't be able to keep your mouth shut for long. You'll be just like us by sunset."

I curled my lips into a faint smile and turned away, not giving him another glance.

In my last life, on settlement day, he fell straight off the roof of this building. He was so mangled there wasn't enough left of him to put in a casket.

He didn't understand. I wasn't being arrogant; I was trying to survive.

And staying silent was only the first step.

While everyone else was biting each other like rabid dogs, I grabbed my bag and walked out. I headed straight for the largest wholesale grocery store in the area.

I stocked up on cases of bottled water, canned goods, fresh meat, and basic medical supplies.

The people in the store and the clerks stared at me like I was an idiot, whispering and laughing.

I knew exactly what they were thinking.

Why struggle with heavy boxes when you could just tell a lie and have money fall from the sky? With enough money, you could buy anything.

But only I knew that after the April Fool's madness, the currency would collapse.

Soon, the city would be filled with billionaires, and hyperinflation would spiral out of control.

A single bottle of water would eventually cost tens of millions.

At that point, cash would be nothing more than scrap paper. No amount of wealth could buy a single drop of life-saving water.

Right now, the system had just started. The market hadn't reacted yet, and supplies were still available.

If I didn't hoard now, I wouldn't even have a place to cry later.

After packing everything into my car, I sat on a park bench, waiting for the phone call I knew was coming.

Dorian, my ex-boyfriend, was the scumbag who had pushed me into the abyss in my last life.

Back then, the first joke he told me was, "I'm actually seeing your best friend, Sloane."

Later, that joke became reality. Those two teamed up and swindled me out of every cent I earned from the system.

They watched me die on the street and didn't even blink.

At the exact same time as my previous life, my phone rang.

The caller ID read: Dorian.

I answered it. His voice came through, faking a cold, distant tone.

"Lydia, let's break up. I'm with Sloane now."

In my past life, hearing those words had sent me into a panic. I couldn't tell if he was joking or serious.

But this time, I felt absolutely nothing.

I could even hear Sloane's muffled giggles and their whispered playfulness on the other end of the line.

Last time, my heartbreak had been part of their sick foreplay.

"Sure. We're done," I said, my voice as flat as a straight line.

There was a stunned silence on the other end. Then, Dorian immediately switched to his slimy, affectionate tone.

"Happy April Fool's, babe! I was just kidding. Why are you being such a buzzkill?"

Before he could finish, a sharp chime rang through the phone. Ding! 0-00,000,000 has been deposited!

"I wasn't joking. By the way, I hope you both rot in hell," I snapped.

I hung up before he could respond and blocked him on everything.

At noon sharp, every phone in the city vibrated again.

A new system pop-up appeared, carrying a playful but lethal tone.

I forgot to mention, everyone only gets ten joke quotas.

From now on, the bounty for each joke is multiplied by ten.

I'm not joking about this one.

The timeline was matching my previous life perfectly.

The moment the rules were announced, a bright red number appeared above everyone's head. It represented their remaining joke quota.

After the morning frenzy, most people had already squandered their ten chances. Some only had one or two left.

It was nearly impossible to find someone with a full quota left.

In my last life, I had spent the whole morning writing scripts for high-value jokes. By sheer luck, I hadn't used a single one by noon.

As a result, I became the one-in-a-million 'lucky' target.

It was happening again. A bright red 10/10 appeared above my head.

The people around me immediately cast strange, greedy glances my way. Some even pulled out their phones to record me.

I didn't want to draw any more attention. I clutched my bag and rushed home to organize my supplies.

Not long after, there was a violent scratching at my front door. The sound of a key being forced into the lock was ear-piercing.

I didn't need to guess who it was.

The door burst open. Dorian's eyes locked onto the red number above my head, and he practically started salivating.

"Babe! You still have all ten! That's incredible! I still have a chance!"

Sloane followed right behind him, instantly putting on a fake, pouty face as if she were my concerned sister.

"Lydia, stop being so dramatic. Dorian told me you wanted to break up. He's devastated! It was just an April Fool's joke. Why take it so seriously?"

I looked at the numbers above their heads. As expected, both were at 0/10.

They had run out of ways to rake in cash, so they came for mine.

Seeing my silence, Dorian dropped his aggressive act and fell to his knees. He started sobbing, tears streaming down his face.

"Babe, I've been planning our wedding! All the money I earn from the system will go toward our future home. But I'm out of chances. Thank God you still have yours. If you make enough today, we'll be set for life!"

Sloane chimed in, grabbing my arm and acting pathetic. "Lydia, I used mine up too. I only made a few million, and it's already gone. I just ordered a Panamera and haven't paid for it yet. You're a pro comedian; you can make billions! You'll help us, right?"

Their synchronized performance was enough to make me want to vomit.

"You two don't need to put on a show for me. I'm not using the system today. Not once. Get out."

I turned around to close the door.

Seeing that his manipulation wasn't working, Dorian lost his patience.

He lunged at me, pinning me against the wall. His hand clamped around my throat, squeezing so hard I could barely breathe.

"Listen, you bitch! Stop playing hard to get! Use your quota to make money right now and transfer it to me, or you won't live to see tomorrow!"

As the oxygen began to fade, I reached into my pocket for the tactical knife I had prepared.

Just as I was about to strike, another group of people burst through the door.

It was my parents, along with my younger brother, BusterDa middle schooler who already weighed two hundred and fifty pounds.

Buster rushed forward and tackled Dorian away from me, standing in front of me like a wall of meat.

"Lydia, don't be scared! We're here to save you!"

My mother rushed over, grabbing my arm with 'heartfelt' concern.

"Lydia, honey! We came specifically to take you back home!"

It turned out that during my short walk home, the news of my full quota had already gone viral.

Someone had uploaded a video of me, and it was trending everywhere.

My parents hadn't come for me out of love. They had smelled the money.

In my last life, they only ever cared about what I could give them.

They were barely literate and couldn't tell a joke to save their lives. Even with a system that literally handed out money, they wasted their quotas on nonsense and earned nothing.

But their precious son, Buster, required a massive amount of food every day.

They were stingy with me and themselves, but they would never let their baby boy go hungry.

So, they teamed up with Dorian and Sloane to push me toward my death.

They traded my life for cash to feed Buster, watching me be torn apart without shedding a single tear.

I wanted to see what kind of play they were going to put on this time.

They dragged me back to their cramped, old apartment. When the door opened, I froze.

The tiny, dilapidated living room was filled with men in expensive suits.

These were powerful, wealthy menDpeople my parents would never have been able to meet under normal circumstances.

One look at their quotas told me everything: they were all at 0 or 1.

They weren't here for a chat. They were here for a kill.

As soon as I entered, the room full of wolves looked at me like I was a prime ribeye steak.

"Gentlemen, this is the one! The girl with the full quota from the internet. She's my daughter!" My mother announced with a sycophantic grin.

My father crowded in next, his eyes clouded with pure greed.

"Alright, big shots. I brought her. Let's hear the bids!"

"Thirty million," someone shouted immediately.

"Too low! I made more than that just by telling someone their parents were dead. You should be ashamed of that offer!"

"A hundred million! I'll pay a hundred million!"

"Two hundred million!"

The noisy bidding war made my ears ring.

In the chaos, I noticed someone sitting in the far corner.

He was sitting in the shadows, away from the light. He carried a cold, commanding aura and hadn't said a word.

Looking at his silhouette, I felt a strange sense of familiarity.

He was the only one who wasn't screaming like a maniac.

"Five hundred million! I'm in for five hundred million!"

"Hey, stop driving up the price! Follow the rules!"

"Rules? There are no rules when it comes to quotas! Whoever grabs her first owns her!"

An obese man in a shiny suit lunged toward me, his hands outstretched.

My eyes went cold. I pulled the knife from my pocket and slashed a long, bloody line across his face.

"Anyone who takes another step dies. Try me."

The crowd recoiled, startled by my sudden violence.

I tried to use the moment to bolt for the door.

But I had forgotten to watch my back.

My own father stepped behind me and threw a handful of white powder into my face.

"You little brat! You aren't going to ruin our payday!"

A pungent chemical smell filled my nose, and my vision blurred instantly.

My legs went weak, and I began to fall backward.

A pair of strong arms caught me before I hit the floor.

Before I drifted into total darkness, a low, magnetic voice cut through the noise.

"One billion. Cash. Paid right now. She goes with me."