Summer's End,I Won't Save You Twice

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When the SAT scores came out and I found mine had been withheld from the rankings, I was ecstatic. I immediately posted about it on Instagram.

Finally get to go to Columbia with the person I love!

The post had barely gone live when I scrolled past something that stopped my thumb cold: a new post from Derek Whitfield, my childhood sweetheart of seven years.

From school uniforms to a wedding dress. Thank you for being by my side.

I thought of the love letter he'd slipped me right before the SATs, and my heart fluttered as I tapped into the photo grid.

A wedding already? After seven years, it seemed we were both thinking about tying the knot. The timing felt almost too perfect.

But when I zoomed in, the face in the wedding photo was my best friend's.

My hand tightened around my phone, shaking before I even registered it, and my thumb accidentally liked the post.

A message from Derek came through a second later. Caroline Simmons, the wedding's the day after tomorrow. If you've come to your senses, get over here and be Agnes's bridesmaid.

She's felt guilty about you all these years. But your college application getting changed to a community college wasn't entirely her fault.

I stared at the two lines on my screen, frozen where I stood.

A midsummer breeze drifted through the window, and it chilled me to the bone.

What wedding? What community college?

Was the person on the other end of this conversation really Derek Whitfield, the boy I'd grown up with for eighteen years?

I typed a response, deleted it, typed again, deleted again.

Then my phone buzzed with a string of photos. Bridesmaid dresses. Every single one was a garish clash of red and green.

One look was all it took for my eyes to burn.

He knew. He knew red was the one color I couldn't stand.

Right after that, a voice message came through from Derek. Pick one. And come over to the house tonight to apologize to Agnes.

You went around telling everyone she was a homewrecker, and she was gracious enough to forgive you. So stop throwing a tantrum and come set the record straight.

Every muscle in my body locked. That was Derek's voice. I would never mistake it.

It was the same tone he used to turn other girls down.

Sorry, I already have a girlfriend. She's wonderful. I'm crazy about her. And my only dream in this life is to marry her someday.

That confession still played in vivid detail behind my eyes, and stacked against the casual, weightless notification he'd just sent me, the dissonance was unbearable.

My nails dug into my palms.

I thought of our graduation trip, how we'd stumbled onto a stranger's wedding and watched it together.

He'd laughed and promised he'd get me an even more stunning dress, give me an even grander ceremony.

So why was he marrying someone else?

I bolted out of my room, ran the length of Sycamore Street, and pounded on the door of Derek's house.

Agnes Fox opened it. Around her neck hung the seashell necklace I'd given her before graduation.

The moment she saw me, a soft, gentle smile spread across her face, and she took my arm to lead me inside.

Her long acrylic nails bit into my skin. She leaned in close and dropped her voice. The night Derek confessed to you? I was already in his bed.

All four years of college, he and I tried every position there is. I just never expected you'd be dense enough to only figure it out now.

Memory flashed back to the night of his confession. Agnes, holding up her camera, capturing the exact moment Derek dropped to one knee in front of me. The envy written plain across her face.

I'd gone home and framed that love letter. That same night, Derek had pushed back our date.

So even then, what we had was already tainted.

The realization hit like a physical blow.

I looked at Agnes's sweet smile and all I saw was something blinding and unrecognizable.

This was the same girl who'd grabbed a chair and stood in front of me when a clique of bullies came after me, who swore she'd have my back for life.

Now she was the one twisting the knife deepest into my chest.

I pulled my hand free from her grip. My fingertips were ice.

I drifted into the living room in a daze and found every surface covered in wedding decorations: red paper cutouts, fresh flowers, and balloons everywhere I looked.

The childhood photos of Derek and me that once sat on the coffee table had been taken down.

In their place were pictures of him and Agnes, posing together on some beachside vacation.

I stared in disbelief at the enormous wedding portrait mounted on the living room wall.

That intricate mermaid-cut gown was the exact one I'd stopped to admire in the boutique window more times than I could count.

My gaze drifted downward to Derek, seated in the center of the sofa.

He looked older, more polished, wearing a matching loungewear set with Agnes. Beneath the years, I could still trace the boy I'd known seven years ago.

But when his eyes flicked to me, something involuntary crossed them. Irritation.

That look, that reflex he didn't even bother to hide, froze every drop of blood in my veins.

My voice came out raw. When exactly did you two start going behind my back?

Derek frowned. That's not important. All you need to know is that Agnes is the one I'm marrying.

He said it like it was nothing, each word light as air, yet every syllable drove into my chest like a spike of ice.

I clenched my fists, drew a long breath, and pressed on. Then explain the community college. How did that happen?

I'd performed beyond anyone's expectations on the SATs. I could have had my pick of any top school in the country. There was no world in which I should have ended up at a community college.

Derek tossed a diploma at me, his tone dripping with mockery. Caroline, did four years at that place rot your brain? We agreed to put this behind us. Remember?

Besides, Agnes didn't do it on purpose.

And honestly, whose fault is it that you're so gullible? Someone hands you a glass of milk and you just drink it, no questions asked. You missed the application deadline all on your own.

The diploma grazed my temple as it flew past, leaving a thin red welt.

I picked it up. A vocational technical college. And there, pasted inside, was my ID photo.

The girl in the picture had no light left in her eyes. Not a trace of the future she'd once believed in.

My whole body shook. My fingertips dug into the diploma so hard it buckled, and all I could think about were the years, over a decade of studying until my eyes blurred, of sacrificing everything for a score that was supposed to set me free.

Then a splitting pain tore through my skull, and seven years of memories came crashing in all at once.

I crouched on the floor, unable to stand, tears streaming down my face before I even realized I was crying.

The day college applications were due, Derek had handed me a glass of milk laced with something. And while I was unconscious, Agnes changed every one of my selections.

The next morning, I tried to go to the police. Derek shut it down before I could.

Agnes was just playing a little joke on you. Community college, Columbia, what's the difference? You're still going to be Derek Whitfield's girlfriend either way. Don't make a big deal out of nothing.

Eventually, I dropped the case. Derek and I continued our relationship long-distance.

But on New Year's Eve, I went to surprise him in the city, and walked in on the two of them tangled together in the same bed.

I threw myself at them, hitting, clawing, fighting with everything I had. Derek didn't flinch. He calmly helped Agnes into her coat first.

Caroline, my family would never let me marry a girl from a community college. Agnes is your best friend. She's from a clean background, someone we know inside and out.

Once I marry her, you'll still be the one I love most. Isn't that enough?

Hearing those words, I bit through the soft flesh of my lip and slapped him across the face.

After that day, I threw everything I had into making them pay.

I plastered their bedroom photos across the campus message boards. I played recordings of every sordid detail of their affair on a loop outside the gates of Columbia.

What I got in return was my scholarship recommendation revoked, a psychiatric evaluation order, and a phone call telling me my mother had been hit by a car.

I rushed to the hospital, frantic, and found Agnes in my mother's room, idly flicking at the oxygen mask on her face like it was a toy.

Derek sat nearby, looking down at me from his chair.

Caroline, this time it was an accident. But what about next time?

I saw my mother's face turning purple from the lack of oxygen and lunged at Agnes with my hand raised.

Before I could strike, Derek pulled me into his arms. That's enough. Stop making a scene. Seeing you cry hurts me too, you know.

I'll cover the medical bills, but from now on, you need to behave.

That day, tears streaming down my face, I agreed to Derek's terms. I became his dirty little secret. His mistress.

Until today, when he and Agnes were getting married, and he specifically requested that I be a bridesmaid.

Eighteen-year-old Caroline Simmons had arrived here without warning.

The moment every last memory settled into place, the despair and agony seared so deep that my whole body shook without my permission.

Two years of obedience.

No wonder Derek had looked at me like that when I brought up the past.

When he saw me crouching on the floor, crying in silence, he softened just enough to lean down and blow gently on the red mark on my forehead.

His voice was tender. Caroline, why can't you just be good? You always have to push me until I lose my temper.

I said nothing.

He pried my fingers open one by one and pressed several sheets of paper into my palm.

On the wedding day, you'll read what's written here. A public apology. You'll clear Agnes's name and admit that you were the other woman.

Don't worry. Once it's done, I'll reinstate the medical payments immediately.

Tears soaked the pages. I finally broke, screaming at Derek until my voice cracked.

Are you even human? Derek! When you were ten, you nearly got kidnapped! My mother took three stab wounds shielding you!

After that, you swore you'd treat her like your own mother!

How dare you use her as leverage against me now!

My chest seized. I screamed until there was nothing left in me.

But the only answer I got was the sight of two figures walking away together, leaning into each other.

I stayed in the empty living room, listening to the sounds drifting down from upstairs. Intimate. Unmistakable.

It felt like an invisible fist had closed around my heart and was squeezing until I could barely breathe.

Before long, my phone erupted. When I picked up, it was the hospital.

Ms. Simmons, your mother's condition has worsened. We need to switch treatment plans and start her on more advanced imported medications

I hung up and took a cab straight to the hospital, running the whole way in.

The second I saw my mother, the tears fell on their own.

Just this morning, I'd been so full of hope, daydreaming about my future.

Derek and I had grown up together, after all. Childhood sweethearts. A perfect match.

After my father passed, my mother had encouraged the relationship every chance she got, wanting me to have someone to rely on.

But now my mother lay in front of me, frail and pale, and everything had changed.

A suffocating wave of pain crashed over me. I stayed at the hospital through the night and into the next day.

On the morning of the wedding, Derek sent people to drag me out.

They held me down and forced me into a bridesmaid dress that didn't even fit.

The moment I arrived at the venue, countless cameras and flashbulbs swiveled toward me.

Someone shoved me forward. The oversized dress was ripped apart in an instant, and I stumbled out in front of everyone, half-exposed.

I clutched the fabric to my chest and stared at Agnes standing in the crowd, her face lit with a triumphant smile.

The next second, I grabbed a fistful of my skirt, snatched the champagne glass off a passing waiter's tray, and hurled it at her.

Ah

A shriek cut through the room. Agnes teetered, about to hit the ground.

But Derek shoved me hard, and I crashed into the champagne tower instead.

Glass shattered everywhere, champagne pooling across the floor. Cuts opened up all over my body, large and small.

Blood soaked through the carpet and the hem of my dress in seconds.

In the instant I hit the ground, I saw the scar on Derek's wrist. Three inches long.

He'd gotten it when I was sixteen. A group of thugs had cornered me outside school for money, and Derek grabbed a bottle and fought them off. One of them slashed his wrist open.

His wrist had been drenched in blood, but he'd still used his other hand to cover my eyes, telling me not to look.

Through the pain, he'd held me steady and saidProtecting you is instinct. Don't blame yourself.

But now, that same hand had shoved me to the edge.

Someone brought me upstairs to the second floor and patched up my wounds.

Derek appeared again. When he saw the blood-soaked bandages on my body, he stopped in his tracks.

Caroline, why can you never learn to behave?

He sighed and pulled up the hospital surveillance footage on his phone.

You've seen your mother's condition. If she doesn't get her medication soon, she might not make it.

Stop making a scene. Once you clear this up, I'll give you a second ceremony. Okay?

On the screen, my mother was writhing and seizing in her hospital bed. A tear slipped down my cheek before I could stop it.

A long silence passed.

I gave in. I snatched the speech from Derek's hand like it was a lifeline.

Under the spotlight, I read each word off the script without inflection, a puppet with its strings cut.

The press cameras crowded so close they nearly touched my face. A microphone struck my nose hard enough to sting.

Pain shot through the bridge of my nose, and tears spilled out before I could control them.

A reporter's voice cut through, sharp and needling. Ms. Simmons, you admit to inserting yourself into your own best friend's marriage, and you still had the nerve to attend the wedding? Does your mother know she raised her daughter to turn out like this?

Or is it true what they say? Like mother, like daughter?

I froze. The color drained from my face. I looked into the camera, helpless.

Derek was the one who finally stepped in.

My wife and I have already forgiven Ms. Simmons for everything she's done. We'd ask the public to stop speculating about the nature of our relationship going forward.

That's all for this interview. Please just report what you've heard.

I hid beneath Derek's suit jacket as he led me out of the venue.

Report what you've heard. The words echoed in my skull, and all I tasted was irony.

Once we were outside, I shoved him away.

Agnes came after us, lifting the hem of her wedding gown. Derek, our ceremony isn't finished yet.

That one sentence was all it took. His hand slid off my shoulder.

Don't worry. I've already transferred the medical bills to your account. Once I've handled everything here, I'll give you the wedding you've always wanted by the end of the year.

He slipped a ring onto my left hand before he walked away.

I watched him leave.

I got into a cab, pulled the ring off my finger, and tossed it into the bushes along the curb.

But the moment I reached the hospital, doctors and nurses were rushing down the corridor toward my mother's room, panic written across every face.

My heart dropped. My fists clenched so tight the nails bit into my palms.

Dread flooded through me, and I half-stumbled, half-ran toward her room.

By the time I got there, she had only one breath left.

The television mounted on the wall was livestreaming Derek's wedding.

A single tear rolled from my mother's clouded eyes. Her hand trembled as she reached for me.

I threw myself to her bedside. Her voice came in broken fragments

SweetheartMama's going now. I won't be a burden anymore. Youjust live well.

Her thin arm went limp. Something inside me shattered, and I screamed until my throat tore raw.

Mom

A nurse nearby looked away, unable to bear it. She'd just come out of surgery. Her vitals had stabilized.

But after seeing that wedding livestream, something happened. Her emotions spiked and her heart just stopped.

I lunged for the nearest piece of equipment and hurled it at the television still playing the broadcast.

The screen cracked. Static hissed through the room, and I collapsed, sobbing so hard I couldn't breathe.

I don't know how long I cried. By the time I had nothing left, Derek had arrived with Agnes.

Tears streamed prettily down Agnes's face. I never imagined your mother couldn't handle even this much. I just wanted to share a little wedding joy with her. I thought maybe it would cheer her up and help her recover

Staring at Agnes and that sickening fake sympathy on her face, I lunged forward and slapped her twice.

The next second, Derek seized my wrist, his grip crushing bone, his expression turning dark.

Enough. Your mother ran out of luck on her own. From now on, I'll take care of you in her place.

Caroline, knock it off.

I clenched my fists. I had no tears left to cry.

I looked at Derek's twisted face, then at the taunting smile curling Agnes's lips.

I turned, ran to the window of the seventeenth-floor ward, and threw myself out.

If all of this was just a nightmare, then I'd use death to end it.

Wind screamed past my ears as I closed my eyes.

The last thing I saw was Derek leaning over the windowsill, his face white with terror.