Good News: I Looted the Demons, Bad News: Brought Their Lord Home

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After I set my heart on mastering All Swords Return, my master wept and begged me to practice something else.

All because every time I trained, the sect lost another hundred swords.

By day my senior brothers and sisters carried out justice, and by night they had to crawl around the back mountain in the dark, bottoms in the air, hunting for lost swords.

If I kept at it, our sect's disciples would soon be fighting demons with their bare hands.

But my senior siblings wouldn't hear of it. They forced smiles, patted my head, and comforted me:

"It's fine. As long as our youngest sister wants to learn, that's what matters. We can manage."

Later, the demons grew bolder and bolder.

They not only founded a Demon Sword Sect, they also threw down a taunt:

"We demons have more swords than we know what to do with now."

My senior siblings exchanged a glance and a smile, and that very night sent me off to sign up.

My senior brother and sister worried the whole way there. More than once they wanted to change their minds and take me back to the sect.

I understood. They were afraid I'd lose my little life before I ever got the swords back.

So I thumped my chest and swore:

"Senior brother, senior sister, don't you worry!"

"On this trip, not only will I haul every single one of our sect's swords home, I'll also swipe every treasure those demons have, so they'll never dare show off again!"

With that, I gripped my shapeshifting stone tight, turned into an ordinary fox spirit, and swaggered right into demon territory.

I hadn't expected the demons to build even a brand-new sect this grandly. The floor tiles were laid from whole slabs of obsidian.

No wonder everyone else envied the demons so. In their place, I'd have gone green too.

After all, our Spirit Sword Sect's mountain gate stood bare, without even a decent pair of stone lions, never mind fancy floor tiles.

Demons stood in a long line outside the Demon Sword Sect, all waiting to sign up and join.

Only when I got closer did I see the hound demon crouched at the gate.

Every demon who entered had to pass under his nose first.

My heart lurched.

If he sniffed out that I was a Spirit Sword Sect disciple, wouldn't I be caught on the spot?

The thing I feared came for me.

The hound demon gave a sharp sniff and started barking straight at me.

Terrified, I covered my face, spun around, and ran.

He chased hard, herding me right into a fox den.

I'd turned into a fox in the first place because the fox scent was the strongest of all.

So I figured surely now he wouldn't be able to smell me out.

But the fox sisters inside were doing their makeup at their mirrors when the hound demon barged in and started checking them one by one.

I shrank behind one of the fox sisters and struck up conversation, feigning calm:

"Is this hound demon's nose really that sharp?"

The fox sister rolled her eyes at the hound demon from across the den and said sourly:

"Of course. Everyone knows those mad dogs have the keenest noses in the whole Demon Realm. If anyone from outside the demons sneaks in, he'll drag them out for sure."

I pressed down the panic on my face and asked carefully, "Then how do you keep him from smelling you out?"

Without even looking up, the fox sister answered offhandedly:

"Simple. Find yourself a demon mate and cultivate together. You'll pick up the demon scent naturally."

I froze on the spot.

Find a mate? The sect never taught me anything about that.

Seeing my blank face, the fox sister only grew more interested. She fished a packet of scented powder out of her makeup box and pressed it into my hand:

"Silly little fox, one look and I can tell you just learned to shapeshift. Haven't had your first taste yet, have you?"

"There's nothing to be shy about over a little sleeping around. If you don't know how your first time, just use this fox powder of mine. There's no beast it can't handle!"

I nodded, none the wiser, and asked weakly, "But how do I even find a mate..."

The fox sister thought for a moment and answered offhandedly, "You need me to teach you that too? Whoever you think is good-looking, that's your one."

I breathed a sigh of relief at once. So washing off my scent was this easy!

But looking for someone to sleep with here in the fox den was far too dangerous.

Watching the hound demon press closer and closer toward me, I slicked my feet and darted out through the back of the den.

I thought that would finally shake him off.

But the hound demon still chased after me, relentless.

In my panic I picked the wrong way and ran headlong into a secluded Clearpool Cave.

The hound demon must have been afraid of water. He circled the mouth of the cave a few times but in the end didn't dare come in.

To be safe, I went deeper and deeper into the cave.

Until I dimly made out a huge, looming shape.

I thought it was the master of the cave and was about to ask him to take me in for one night.

Only when I drew close did I see clearly: it was a great black serpent in seclusion.

It was my first time seeing a serpent spirit, so I curiously reached out and touched his scales.

Cold and smooth, they felt wonderful.

The instant my fingertips touched him, the serpent's eyes snapped open.

Jewel-green pupils, glowing faintly in the dim cave.

The fox sister's words suddenly went off in my head.

Wasn't this exactly a ready-made, good-looking mate?

I swallowed and stammered out my question:

"Um... hello, can I sleep beside you tonight?"

Smack.

The great black serpent swatted me straight into the spring water with his tail. Not pleased, it seemed.

Fair enough. Some stranger popping up out of nowhere to squeeze onto your bed would set anyone off.

I crawled out of the water, soaked and sorry-looking, and started apologizing: "Sorry, sorry! I'll get lost right now!"

But the more flustered I got, the more I fumbled.

As I bent over, the fox powder in my arms spilled all over the ground with a poof.

Not only had I made him angry, I'd dirtied his territory too.

Let the mad dog chase me, then. I gave up.

I steeled myself and turned to leave.

But the great black serpent suddenly stopped me, carefully stretching out his tail and coiling it tight around me...

I slept deeply that night.

Maybe he wasn't used to sharing his territory, because he stayed coiled around me the whole night without sleeping, which meant I didn't rest well either.

In that half-waking state, he told me to remember his name. Silas.

By the time daylight seeped into the cave and I opened my eyes, he was already gone.

I looked down and found a mark on my wrist.

It struck me then that taking in a spirit pet was supposed to leave a mark.

So did that mean he had bonded to me as his master?

When I came back to the gate of the Demon Sword Sect, the hound demon was still crouched there.

My legs went weak, and I nearly couldn't stay standing.

But I had spent all that time with Silas, so surely some of the demon scent had rubbed off on me?

There was nothing to do but grit my teeth and edge forward.

The hound demon came up and sniffed me, and didn't bark.

Not only did it not bark, it sat down on its haunches and wagged its tail as happily as could be.

The demons standing nearby were dumbstruck, murmuring among themselves. How strange. This hound demon usually looks down its nose at everyone. The only one it's ever wagged its tail for is the Demon Lord.

Delighted, I strode boldly into the Demon Sword Sect.

But the moment I was inside, they told me that anyone who wanted to join the Demon Sword Sect first had to pass the touchstone.

Each demon pressed a hand to the touchstone, and the brighter the light it gave off, the higher one's cultivation.

I panicked at once.

I wasn't like my senior siblings. They had properly taken a master and entered the sect.

I was just an abandoned infant left at the foot of the mountain, who happened to be picked up and raised by Master.

As for cultivation, I was only a hair stronger than an ordinary mortal.

I had gone to all this trouble to find a fine demon like Silas and finally sneaked into the sect. I couldn't get stuck here now, could I?

At last it was my turn.

Head hanging, thoroughly discouraged, I laid my hand on the touchstone.

The next instant the touchstone erupted with a blinding golden light, so bright that even in broad daylight I couldn't keep my eyes open.

The Sect Head kept praising me to the fox clan elder. I never imagined the fox clan was hiding a genius of such extraordinary talent!

I was nearly out of my mind with joy.

Thinking it over and over, I decided it had to be because of the night I'd spent with Silas that I'd become this powerful.

Whatever it took, I was going to swallow my pride and go stay the night with him again.

No. Every single day I was in the Demon Realm, I was going to sleep beside him!

Then I could go home carrying all that cultivation and help my senior siblings restore the Spirit Sword Sect. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

I came down off the trial platform and quietly slipped into the crowd of the fox clan, and sure enough I found the fox sister who had helped me the day before.

I wanted to beg her for more fox powder.

When she pressed me hard about it, I had no choice but to whimper out the truth.

Sister, I went and dual cultivated yesterday. Only my partner wasn't very willing.

She looked shocked, took my face in her hands and studied it, then frowned.

That shouldn't happen. This is the demons' mating season right now.

And besides, with a face as pretty as yours, could that dog of a man have gone blind?

Seeing me all hangdog and spineless, shamelessly holding out my hand for more powder, she gave my backside an exasperated smack.

You little fool. Only the most useless foxes get by on fox powder!

I drooped my head, thoroughly stumped.

Having no way to deal with me, she just followed me back to the room the Demon Sword Sect had assigned me, sighed, and said,

Our fox clan relies on seduction arts. Today I'll teach you properly.

So she taught me the whole day, teaching me how to face a beast mate and pull the very soul right out of him.

But when I copied what she'd taught and struck a few coy, alluring poses at her,

her face only grew darker.

Before she left, she said nothing, just shoved a big packet of fox powder into my hands and told me,

Never mind. Come find me for more when you run out.

I didn't understand what she meant, and went back to the cave full of hope, only to find a dark figure already waiting inside.

The moment those jade-green eyes lifted, I knew it was Silas.

Truly worthy of being the mate I'd chosen. He really was good-looking!

And I hadn't expected his cultivation to be so high.

Seeing me come in, a flicker of alarm crossed his face.

My chest tightened too, terrified that the first thing out of his mouth would be to send me away.

So I quickly did as the fox sister had taught me, tugging my collar open to bare half a shoulder, sticking out my backside and swaying it side to side as I sashayed toward him.

And in my most seductive voice I called out,

Big brother, were you waiting for me~

He was silent for two seconds, then leaned in with concern.

Are you not feeling well? Did you... get a cramp?

My pride took a brutal hit. I crouched on the ground, tears rolling down one fat drop at a time.

Just as I'd feared. No matter how much cultivation I'd leeched off him, it didn't change the fact that I was a useless little runt.

Seeing me cry like that, Silas panicked.

But once he understood this had been my attempt at seduction arts, he turned away and couldn't hold back a couple of snickers.

That only made me cry harder.

At that he scrambled over to soothe me.

"I was just joking."

"How about this. Try again, and this time I promise I'll play along"

I struck while the iron was hot, scrubbed my eyes dry, and rushed to name my terms.

"It's fine. As long as you promise to sleep beside me, I'll stop crying."

Maybe I imagined it, but his face seemed to go red.

He mumbled and stammered for the longest time and couldn't force out a single word.

Lucky for me, I'd come prepared. I dug three meat pastries out of my robes and slapped them into his hands.

"Here. I'd never sleep here for nothing."

"You don't get any food in this cave, do you? I'll bring you pastries from the sect every day. Just let me squeeze in beside you every night, okay?"

Silas's face changed. He glared at me through gritted teeth. "What exactly do you take me for?"

I looked down at the mark on my wrist, then glanced at the hound demon crouched outside the cave.

It all clicked.

Oh. He must be upset because I hadn't given him a proper title of honor yet.

So I leaned in, cupped his face, planted a loud kiss on his forehead, then pointed at the hound demon outside.

"There. Now you're the same as it."

His face darkened even further.

"You're treating me like a dog?"

I hadn't expected him to mind being my spirit pet this much.

Then again, taking a useless runt for a master was hardly a glorious thing.

I waved my hands awkwardly.

"If you don't want to, then forget it. I won't force you."

My throat had gone dry from all the talking, so I turned to get a drink at the edge of the pool.

He must have thought I was leaving.

His serpent tail whipped out and wound around me, holding tight.

I looked back to find his eyes rimmed red, gazing at me all wounded and pitiful.

"You're not allowed to go. I'm willing. I never said I wasn't just now"

That night, I lay draped over Silas's true form.

Only then did I notice the pair of horns on his head.

Something in my chest ached.

It had to be why his own kind had mocked him, why he lived all alone in a cave this big.

At that thought I patted his head and comforted him.

"It's all right. You don't have to feel small about having horns. I won't hold it against you."

Silas gave me a strange look and said mildly, "Do you even know who I am?"

Afraid he was about to put on a brave front for the sake of his pride, I hurried to soothe him.

"You're the prettiest little snake under the heavens, of course. Why else would I have come looking for you?"

Silas seemed quite pleased with that answer. He wrapped around me again and started wriggling.

Ah, whatever. I was the one leeching off his cultivation, so let him do as he liked.

Early the next morning, I went back to the Demon Sword Sect and found the sword tomb.

To my surprise, I'd made a huge leap. I could command over a thousand swords at once now.

I did some quiet math in my head.

If I stayed with Silas a few more days, forget clearing out the whole sword tomb in one go. I might even walk off with a good haul of treasures on the side.

At that thought, my eyes fell to the obsidian tiles under my feet.

A single piece of obsidian could fetch a hundred meat pastries in the mortal world.

So if I pried loose a few more to bring back, wouldn't that cover the wedding money for my senior brother and sister?

I might even end up funding my eldest senior sister's whole dowry!

So I slipped off into a corner and quietly dug out a whole sackful of obsidian.

I was just about to drag it away and hide it when a boar demon caught me red-handed.

He hauled me, sack and all, before the Sect Head and reported me.

"Master, this fox spirit's stealing! The loot's right here in this sack!"

Ordinarily, the worst that could happen for stealing floor tiles was being thrown out of the Demon Sword Sect.

But word had it the Demon Lord himself was here today.

The figure seated behind that curtain right now was almost certainly the very same Demon Lord who killed without a blink.

I was scared stiff, frozen like a cornered quail, not daring to lift my head.

The Sect Head opened the sack and flew into a rage. "What do you want with this much floor tile?"

I could hardly say I meant to steal it home to pay for my senior brother and sister's wedding.

That would humiliate our whole Spirit Sword Sect!

I curled myself into a ball, terrified, and sniveled, "I wanted to save up a dowry for a wedding."

The words had barely left my mouth when a crisp crack sounded behind the curtain. A teacup had shattered.

So the Demon Lord truly was furious. I was dead for sure now.

But the next instant, the Demon Lord let out a soft chuckle and scolded the Sect Head.

"What are you snarling at her for? So she dug a few up. It's not as if the demons are short on this."

"She wants to marry the one she loves soon and is saving up a dowry. What's wrong with that?"

"From now on, she can dig up any floor tile in the Demon Realm she pleases."

And then he even bestowed a treasure pouch on me.

Told me I needn't lug around such a heavy sack anymore. Whatever I wanted, I could just tuck it inside.

The Sect Head stood there dumbstruck, opening his mouth to speak and thinking better of it several times, until at last all he could do was mutter to himself.

"The Demon Lord usually hates sticky-fingered thieves most of all. And today he just lets her off, like that?"

"And besides. Are my old eyes failing me, or did the Demon Lord just now did his face actually go red?"

I never expected the Demon Lord to be so easy to deal with.

That treasure pouch he gave me could swallow the whole sword tomb, and probably the entire Demon Palace on top of it.

And now I could already command half the swords in the sword tomb. With Master Aldric's seclusion ending any day now, I had to get everything home before he came out.

So I didn't even bother going back to the Demon Sword Sect.

I just holed up in the cave, clinging to the serpent spirit and sleeping against him day and night.

Now and then he'd say he wanted to rest a while, and I never understood why.

Weren't we already sleeping?

So I lifted my head and asked, a little suspicious:

"You don't want to be around me?"

He swallowed the words about resting at once, his tail tightening, coiling around me until there was no getting loose.

One night, on a whim, I asked whether he'd ever thought of turning from the dark, of joining one of the righteous sects.

Silas gave a cold laugh, disdain all over him. "That poor little corner of the world? I wouldn't waste a single step on it."

"A whole crowd shouting about righteousness and then charging off to brawl with people. No discipline at all."

"What's wrong with the Demon Palace? It has anything you could want. Aren't you the one who loves all those shiny things?"

Hearing that left a hollow place in my chest.

So it turned out he didn't like that place.

This was the crucial moment. I couldn't let my identity as a disciple of the Spirit Sword Sect slip, and I couldn't force him to leave with me either.

So I just changed the subject, leaning in close. "Then when will I be as strong as you?"

Silas tilted his head and nuzzled up against me.

"What do you want to do?"

"I want to get strong too, so I can protect you."

He gave a soft little laugh into the hollow of my shoulder, then turned his palm over and handed me a bead.

"With this, you'll be the strongest little fox in the whole Demon Realm."

To test whether he was telling the truth, I ran off to the sword tomb that very night.

And sure enough, my All Swords Return worked!

If that was the case, it was time to pack up and head back to the Spirit Sword Sect, and give everyone a huge surprise.

By the time I got back to the cave, the serpent spirit was already fast asleep.

I quietly left him a sackful of obsidian and a note, payment for all the food and lodging I'd mooched off him. It was enough to buy him plenty and plenty of meat pastries.

My senior brother was already waiting at the border of the Demon Realm to take me home.

Just as I was about to fly off on my sword, the hound demon came rushing over and clamped down on my skirt, refusing to let go, like it couldn't bear to see me leave.

I thought it over. A fierce, imposing guard dog at the sect gate would look pretty grand, actually.

So I grabbed a length of rope and brought it along too.

At dawn, the Demon Sword Sect was in an uproar.

The Sect Head came stumbling and scrambling up to the Demon Lord, gasping for breath.

"My lord, that fox from last time stole"

Before he could finish, the Demon Lord's brow furrowed. "I told you to let her dig wherever she likes. I won't hear another word about her stealing."

"Whichever floor tile she pried up this time, just put it back."

"Or replace it with a ruby. She likes those shiny little things"

The Sect Head's eyes went wide, and he waved his hands frantically.

"No, that's not it. That fox didn't just dig up every tile in the Demon Realm, she cleaned out the sword tomb too, and ran off in the night!"

"According to the other demons, they saw with their own eyes that she led the hound demon away, following a man in white out of the Demon Realm"

The Demon Lord clenched his fists, his eyes gone blood-red as he demanded:

"You're telling me she came here to swindle my things and swindle me, and then walked off with some strange man?"

"And in the end she even took the dog, and wouldn't take me"