The Temptation of Going Home

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When Alistair Gummer once again postponed our wedding, I decided to go back to my hometown.

Before leaving, we had a breakup fling. In the throes of passion, his voice grew hoarse. You dont need to force me with a breakup. I told you, when the time is right, Ill marry you.

Later, I boarded the little mini-van back to my village and completely disappeared. He, however, went mad searching for me. My phone was bombarded with texts.

Dont let me find you, or Ill kill you.

Send me your location. Lets talk calmly.

Baby, Im sorry, it was my fault. Please dont leave me

1.

My mom started hounding me about marriage again. I sat across from Alistair Gummer at his office desk and asked him, When exactly are you going to marry me?

He looked up, casting a cool glance my way. This is work time. Lets not discuss personal matters. This proposal needs to be redone; its too clich, no originality. I suspected he was subtly criticizing me. Suppressing my emotions, I walked out of the office. Colleagues gathered around. Did the King of the Underworld chew you out again? I lowered my head, silently confirming.

Alistair and I had been together for three years, and our secret was incredibly well-kept. By day, he was the cold, unapproachable King of the Underworld. By night, he was a pure, playful wolf. Besides me, no one had ever seen that stark contrast. He was incredibly good to me. He gave me everything I wanted, except marriage. But my mom said, if you love someone, you marry them. You dont just string them along like this. My mom also mentioned that many promising young people were returning to the village to help with farming. So, I decided to go back to my hometown. The big city was too cold and ruthless. The warmth of rural life would be more comforting.

That evening, I returned to Alistairs grand villa. The moment I walked in, he pressed me against the door, kissing me with urgency. I tilted my head back, responding. Between kisses, I repeated, If were not getting married, then lets break up.

Alistairs eyes were glazed. His actions crushed my words. In the depths of passion, his voice was seductive: You dont need to force me with a breakup. I told you, when the time is right, Ill marry you. And you dont need to keep testing me, my patience has its limits. He thrust deeper. I took that as his tacit agreement to break up.

I bought a ticket to my hometown for a month later. Before going home, I planned to sell all the luxury items and properties Alistair had given me. Combined with my salary from these past few years, my personal savings were quite substantial. Enough to build a grand house in the village, raise pigs, chickens, and cows. Enough to live a carefree life.

When I submitted my resignation, Alistair thought I was just throwing a tantrum. He called me into his office, his face grim, and pulled down the blinds. Georgia Gummer, I can tolerate your little moods, but now youre threatening me with resignation? Are years of hard work going to waste just because of a man? Who would guess that the man he was talking about was himself? I sat upright before him. Mr. Gummer, this is work time. Lets not mix personal emotions. I have other career plans, and I hope youll approve.

A long silence. Alistair scoffed lightly. Georgia, I must remind you, a woman needs a career. Being overly anxious will only push your partner further away. With your current abilities, working at Gummer Corp is already the ceiling. He was right. With my education, I probably couldnt even get through the doors of other major companies. If it werent for Alistair, I wouldnt have a place at Gummer Corp. But for a woman like me, with little career ambition, what did that matter? I had already decided to go back to my village. The cunning and deceit of the big city had exhausted me. I repeated, I hope youll approve, Mr. Gummer. Alistairs frustration was palpable, and he finally left me with a single sentence. Youd better not regret it. He probably didnt know. I never do things I regret.

2.

At Alistairs instruction, my work handover was shortened from a month to a week. I had plenty of time to pack my belongings. While Alistair was at work, I called in an appraiser and sold all my jewelry. After an eight-figure sum landed in my account, life felt brighter than ever. I asked my mom to start scouting potential dates for me. Id fill my schedule once I was home, leaving no time for the so-called withdrawal period to kick in.

After I resigned, Alistair started coming home later and later. Once, I even found an opened box of ultra-thin condoms in his suit pocket. I didn't expose him; I just quietly put it back. He was more concerned about his personal health than I was. I wasnt worried about catching anything. But he seemed unhappy. Alistair, usually so composed, would inexplicably lose his temper, complaining that I was neglecting him, that I was too cold towards him. I could only appease him. I indulged his every whim, wanting to leave a good impression before returning to the village. I also stopped talking about breaking up, no longer getting jealous.

Until one time, hed had too much to drink and pinned me to the bed, quietly asking, Georgia, do you not love me anymore? My heart trembled. I did. I loved him quite a bit. But my youth was fleeting. I couldnt afford to waste it. His words made me feel like the villain. I reached up and stroked his brow. Then why wont you marry me?

Alistairs voice was hoarse. I didnt say I wouldnt marry you, its just that right now I kissed him. I didnt want to hear the words just that. Once they were spoken, the outcome no longer mattered. Persistent probing would only turn into a joke.

There were so many of my things in the villa. So many that my presence was in every corner. In the end, I only packed one small suitcase. I thought, once I left, Alistair would surely have his housekeeper thoroughly discard all my belongings. He was always so cold and ruthless, whether with people or things.

The week before I left, I attended my best friends wedding. Seeing her in her wedding dress, I cried like a baby, moved to tears. When she handed me her bouquet, the first person who came to mind was Alistair. But he wouldnt marry me. Perhaps it was because I came from a rural background, and we were mismatched. People like them, I heard, always had arranged marriages.

The wedding reception ended. Alistair, uncharacteristically, came to pick me up. Opening the car door, he immediately saw the bouquet in my hand. I quickly explained, I didnt mean anything by it, please dont misunderstand. It was just a simple blessing, my friend just handed it to me. Alistairs eyes dimmed. The drive was silent. I inadvertently noticed a lipstick on the floor. It wasnt mine. I picked it up and put it in the compartment.

Screech! Alistair slammed on the brakes, growling, Georgia! Is that yours? Now you dont even ask? I was stunned by his shout; Id been so understanding. What was he so angry about? I spoke with annoyance, but still indulged him with a question. Then whose is it?

Alistair gripped the steering wheel tightly, veins bulging. My mothers.

Oh, your mothers.

You The engine restarted. Alistairs face was dark. When we got home, he locked himself in his study. I didnt understand. I sent my mom a text. [Mom, my date absolutely has to have a good temper.] After sending it, I added another line. [And abs, too.] He didn't come back to the bedroom that night. I tossed and turned, unable to sleep. My heart felt empty.

3.

I met Alistair Gummer right after graduation. I was interviewing at Gummer Corp, and he held the elevator door for me. My thick country accent left a deep impression on him. Gummer Corp, remarkably, hired me. Everyone said Alistair was the King of the Underworld, not to be provoked. But I was fearless, completely captivated by his appearance. After a company dinner, I deliberately got into his car and confessed my feelings.

Alistair was stunned for a long moment. Then he told me, Dating within the company is prohibited, and will result in termination. I scoffed. Just dont let anyone know, right? Youre the boss, no one would dare fire you. And then we were together. One bold move led to several years of a lavish life. Thanks to Alistair, my work abilities improved rapidly over these years. I also gained a lot of insight. He was a great benefactor in my life. But not the right partner.

My mom saw that all my peers in the village were having kids and started pressuring me too. I tentatively asked Alistair. He always said it wasnt the right time. I didnt know when his auspicious day would be. But people around me were settling down, one after another. I also started thinking about marriage. When I repeatedly tried to get a commitment from him, he got annoyed, and I grew tired. While idly scrolling through short videos, I saw some depicting idyllic rural life and suddenly yearned for it. The seed of returning to my village was planted then.

4.

The day before I was supposed to leave, I cooked a table full of dishes with my own hands, intending to say a proper goodbye to him. I texted Alistair in advance, asking him to come home early. The message sank without a trace. Calls also went unanswered. I waited until nine in the evening. He still hadn't come home. I took a cab to the company. My colleague said Alistair had left in the afternoon. I felt annoyed. Seriously, after I resigned, I had no idea about his whereabouts.

I waited all night. The food on the table grew cold. My heart ached. I never thought that mornings be safe would be our last words. Bitterness welled up in my heart. I grabbed my small suitcase. I took one last look at the villa. Then I got into the car headed for the airport.

Before boarding, I was still hoping Alistair would reply to my message. But he didnt. I scrolled through short videos to distract myself. I stumbled upon a video from the same city. No ones face was visible in the video. But I recognized those hands clearly. The plain band on the ring finger was one I had bought. The video blogger was a woman. So, Alistair hadnt come home because he was having French dinner with another woman. Thinking of the sweet and sour pork, sauted mixed vegetables, and iron pot stew I had spent all afternoon making for him yesterday my heart ached. Clutching my chest, tears streamed down my face.

Before boarding, I texted my mom. [Mom, Ill be home tomorrow. Can you arrange a blind date for me tomorrow night?] After sending it, I turned off my phone, swapped in a new SIM card, and casually blocked all of Alistairs contacts.

The plane took off and landed. After getting off the plane, I needed to take a bus to the county town. Then, from the county town, Id transfer to a mini-van to the village. The whole journey, I was half-asleep, my mind full of Alistair. His affectionate side, his cold side, his passionate side. I couldnt shake him.

Arriving at the village entrance, I inhaled the earthy smell mixed with a hint of chicken manure. It was a familiar scent. My heart gradually calmed. Every time I came home, it felt like a cleansing of the soul. The villagers were simple. No scheming. No endless rules in anyones home. My mom was right. A large number of promising young people had indeed flocked to the village to help with farming. Youthful, energetic, sunny, and thoughtful.

Time was plentiful. I designed blueprints, planning to build a two-story house. I bought dogs, chickens, cows, and sheep. My days were fulfilling. But at night, Alistair would come to mind. And when he did, my heart ached, as if something was clenching it.

I also went on a few blind dates. None of them satisfied me. Once you've tasted the best, ordinary people just don't catch your eye anymore. The only one who did was gay. Three months passed like that. Under my day and night supervision, the two-story house was built. It was then that an unknown number called. I swiped to answer, politely saying, Hello. The moment the words left my mouth, I heard a roar from the other end, almost breaking my eardrums. Georgia Gummer! Its really you! Terrified, I immediately hung up. He called again. I hung up again. I blocked the number. He called again with a different number. I simply turned off my phone. It had been too long since I heard Alistair Gummers voice. My heart was pounding. Damn it. Why was he bothering me again just when I was finally living freely?

I thought long and hard. Its not like I owed him anything. Id said goodbye before breaking up. It was his fault he didnt come back for our last meal. I had nothing to feel guilty about. I turned my phone back on. A flood of texts popped up.

Georgia, dont let me find you, or Ill kill you.

Why the hell did you leave without a word? Couldnt you have just talked to me properly?

Turned off your phone, huh! Ill dig three feet under and drag you out!

There were too many texts. I couldnt imagine under what state the cold and aloof Alistair Gummer could type such frantic messages. When I was with him, aside from seeing him lose his temper at work, he was always very good to me in private. I shivered involuntarily. Winter hadnt even arrived, but I felt a chill.